Unhappy in a good relationship but I don't know why?

I'll try to add a lot of detail here since this is very important to me. I'm 30 years old. I got married at 18 (mistake) and had a kid with that ex-wife. We were just too young and it lasted a few years. She has really changed and I have had full custody of my son (10) for over 5 years. In November 2003 I remarried and had a great relationship, so I thought. On October 10, 2007 my wife and I had a little girl, yet my wife never bonded with her. We still had a great relationship to despite this lack of bonding, until one night when my daughter was just 4 months old, my wife came home and told me she was having sex with a co-worker and she was moving in with him that night. She signed over custody of her at the time 4 month old daughter. I handled it well as could be expected and emerged from divorce with enough money to buy a new car in cash and I bought a nice home in cash as well. I remodeled everything and bought some extra toys too. Plasma Wall TV, big stereo, Mustang for the weekend, new boat, etc....all paid with cash. But the one thing I couldn't do was cure my loneliness. My son is mature for his age and he took my now ex's departure terrific. That was basically his mom that walked out too, but yet he adjusted within 48 hours and he is such a good and happy kid. I told him 2 1/2 years ago that I was thinking about dating again. I told him I could find the right one right away. I told him it might take 10 or so people before finding the right one. I told him I could finally find the right one, only to be cheated on again 6 years down the road again. He said he doesn't need a mom since he's never depended on one but he thinks I should bring up my daughter in a more family atmosphere. So I dated a few people and had some more serious relationships with people that turned into me getting hurt over and over. Most of them were young, out to use me, and selfish. I convinced myself that I myself seemed happier without realizing it, when I wasn't with someone. I had my kids, my toys, my house, my life, all to myself. I was a single dad that worked from home but still had time to enjoy things with my kids and have ';some'; alone time. About that time came a girl that I was not expecting to meet. She was more my age and she accepted my two children as she has two of her own. She warned me that she had a big guard as she was cheated on too. So I tried not to get so emotionally attached to her until one night, she asked me on a scale of 1-10 how into her I was. She told me she was at an 8, when I thought she was at a 2. Then that 8 turned into a full blown 10 really quick. I opened up myself even more and got to that 10 number myself, so I thought. Next thing, she lost her job and her parents have a 720 sq ft house and no room and she had nowhere to go. She was hearing wedding bells and was talking about everything that I wanted and that I used to have and this was (is) my chance to have it all again. So she started boxing things up and I started to move around bedrooms and repaint rooms. But that is when I realized that this was really serious. No more time to myself. No more being a bachelor. I always wanted to live the family life but Ive been burned so many times on it. So I finally am with someone that I'm confident won't cheat on me. She definitely shows that she loves me. Yet, there are just stupid little things that occasionally bug me about her. The big problem is that now that she is here, and is living here, I am trying to be happy about it. There are times that I am happy with it but there are times, quite a few, that I'm not happy about being in a relationship anymore. I feel with all the rushing that happened, I may not be in love with her anymore. On the days or moments that I feel like I've made the wrong decision, I am just extremely quiet. I feel depressed, stressed, miserable at times. But she hasn't done anything wrong to make me feel bad at all. She's a good person and hasn't done anything wrong to me and I'm a good guy that doesn't want to do anything wrong to her or her kids or my kids, but here I am, stuck in this situation. PLEASE HELP!!Unhappy in a good relationship but I don't know why?
Wow, that was long =]



Hmm, I'm going to try and offer my opinion. Do you think maybe the only reason you are feeling like this is because it's not JUST you now? You can't do what you want, when you want anymore. It seems you were head over heels in love with this girl until the actuality of the relationship set in. When she moved in, it seemed to show you how serious the relationship was getting. Are you not ready to have a serious relationship? If not, why? Is it because of your past, or do you not like having to deal with the things that come with a serious relationship? Like, having someone live with you, always running things by them to make sure its okay.. that sort of thing.

If the problem is not her.. then it has to be you. If she is this great girl and nothing is wrong..then something in you is not liking it. Just take time and figure out what it is. I would say that ';you cant make yourself love someone or make it feel right'; but you loved her until she moved in and realized it was getting really serious. Thats just my opinion.. but i hope everything works out for you