For everyone who loves to read. what do you think of this?

Prologue.





The air was cold over my face as I walked down the street. The lights of the lampposts were blurry, orange dots in front of my eyes, as if they were a part of a dream.



The scene ran all again in my head. It seemed that the images were so heavy that they forced me to stop walking in the middle of the road.



The voice of my father, loud and heartless, resounded in my head repeatedly.



“I’m ashamed.” He said, throwing his slippers at me. “Leave home. I do not want to see your face. You’re disgrace to my family.”



As he spitted and shouted at me, mother snuggled up at the corner of the sofa. She cried as her fingers trembled against her dry lips; she was helpless whenever my father went wild.



But you might ask why did he go mad at me that night? Why did he kick me out of the house naked in the cold of January? What could I have possibly done to drive a man in his mid forties to such madness? I will tell you.



I fell in love with a girl. Her name was Maria.



Chapter 1



The shops were shutting off. A tall man walked out from one of them. As he locked the door of his bookstore, he eyed me with a frown over his wrinkly face then shook his head in hopelessness and walked down the dark sidewalk.



He must have thought of me as a whore, searching for a well off prey in the middle of the night. After all, you do not frequently find girls with disheveled hair, half-torn tee- shirts, showing off their chests, and black mascara spreading under their lids from crying, everyday.



I looked at my reflection in the glass of the shop. My disheveled hair, my half-torn tee- shirt showing my chest, and the black mascara spreading under my lids from crying, all were signs of my approaching end; the end that I longed for.



They say that before you die bad things start to happen to you, and that was true.







“You’re alone Fiona.” I told myself, “No one loves you. They all abandoned you.”



I pranced down the sidewalk, singing a made up tune, as if trying to lull myself to sleep.



“They all abandoned you… la la la. They all hated you…la laaa”



It seemed that I kept on walking for a long time. I did not know where I could hide, where I can conceal the truth from the world.



I can just find a job, gain money, buy a new home and then live happily ever after. But how?



How can I live happily ever after when my skin burns with the guilt of not fulfilling my parents’ wishes? When the only one I ever loved in unreachable? Maria. Her name was like the soft breeze over my face, like the tickling sound of the rain as it falls in a pond.



As I stopped in front of a fish restaurant, I raised my head to the sky and wished that Maria would be beside me now. I wished that I could only look into her eyes and see her sad; see her wishing to do anything for me just to make me happy.



“That day would never come; she isn’t like you, she loves another boy and you know it. You’re the freak, and freaks deserve to die.”



Almost blindly, I ran into the restaurant. I ignored the looks of the clients, as I rushed between the tables and headed directly to the kitchen.





“You can’t go in,” a waiter said. He stood between the kitchen’s door and me. “You’d better leave. We aren’t a charity.”



I glared at him and pushed him with my elbow through the door of the kitchen.



The chefs screamed at waiter that tumbled over his back in the middle of the kitchen.



“Get out of here…” I screamed at the four chefs scattered all over the kitchen. “Get out or I’ll tear myself.’



I snatched a knife from the chef to my right and after pointing it towards him, he ran to the end of the kitchen. “Now, out of here…”



After the four chefs filed through the door, I snatched the key from the hook at the wall and locked the door. I was ready for a prestigious death.



I turned the gas key at the oven, and sniffed at the heavy smell of the gas.



After shutting the windows, I squatted at the floor and closed my eyes. The gas was already seeping into my lungs and I enjoyed it.For everyone who loves to read. what do you think of this?
It kept me interested o.o

Personally, I think you should make her die. It's really typical in a novel for a character to try commiting suicide but be stopped in the attempt. I don't mean to sound heartless, but it's unrealistic. Many people commit suicide, and not everytime is someone there to save them.



So Maria is straight and Fiona isn't? Is that why she wants to die? Is that why her parents rejected her? You should better explain that.



Another thing you should fix:

'; After all, you do not frequently find girls with disheveled hair, half-torn tee- shirts, showing off their chests, and black mascara spreading under their lids from crying, everyday.



I looked at my reflection in the glass of the shop. My disheveled hair, my half-torn tee- shirt showing my chest, and the black mascara spreading under my lids from crying, all were signs of my approaching end; the end that I longed for.';



It was sort of repetitive right there, with the whole thing about the half-torn shirt and the smudged mascara.



I hope you don't take any of this too personally, just some constructive criticism :) since I assume that's what you were asking for.

Overall it wasn't bad though. I'd give it maybe an 8/10.For everyone who loves to read. what do you think of this?
I really like it! Their are a couple of grammatical errors but the idea itself is really good. I wanna find out what happens next.