Sunday, December 11, 2011

I live in my parenst home with my 4 children?

i have been divorced for 8 years from a total maniac who used to abuse me and my kids,,he destroyed my home and left me with nothing,,,my oldest has autism my second has bipolar disorder and does my third,,my second went through utter hell in 4 different hospitals in 1 year,,he is doing much better now with the help of medications ,,my oldest is finally doing well as my third,,my fourth has always been ok,,the house we had taken from us was sold and the small amount of money that i made on it at the time i put into my parents home and renovated many of the rooms,,i work full time

the problem that i have is with my siblings they constantly make remarks to me about me living here,,,i feel as though they look down at me,,,my ex is not in the picture and pays me no support at all,,i went down the road with court but it got nowhere,,he works off the books,,living in this house has allowed my kids stability and myself to have the support from my family my parenst when going through all these things with my kids,,,,my sister called today and made a remark to me which i found so hurtful,,she said she had a dream about me that i was pregnant and bought a trailer home to my parenst house and put it in the front yard,,,

no i do not enjoy living here once my kids are grown and stable i do not plan on staying here i am sacrificing my pride in order for their happiness and stability especially since everything we have been through,,i am tired of dealing with my siblings with their comments and want to know how to handle them from now on thanksI live in my parenst home with my 4 children?
I think you have been dealt some tough cards. I have bi polar disorder myself and it would have been wonderful if I had family to help me out. Your sister may be jealous because she thinks your parents favor you. She may also be the type of person who has to put down others in order to make herself feel better. I wouldn't worry about her, you have enough to deal with.I live in my parenst home with my 4 children?
Why dont you tell them exactly what you just wrote? You are living there not to free load but get yourself on your feet and give your children a stable home with love and support. I bet they will be quiet then.
couldn't find a question here!
wow...seems like u've been through some tough times!!



my advice to you is to have a little talk with your parents about financial issues, and all that. you can work something out that way. you will be able to afford an apartment (big, even) if u start to save up your money and maybe do 2 jobs.



and if ur oldest child is 12 or older, he/she can do a job that can earn money. such as delivering papers, driveway-cleaning(in winter), or simply get a small job at the supermarket. try to get him doing these things maybe during summer holidays.



i wish u all the best and by the way im 12!!

im not exactly a parent but hope i helped ya!
just tell them to mess off %26amp; live there life, its not your fault you didn't no what you was in fore [ unless you did ] but it shouldn't really matter to them, TRY to mingle and find a boyfriend. The dream should not have been mentioned or you should take it so seriously just inore her and her remarks.

hope this helps :)
Tell your siblings to take a flying leap and to stay out of yours and your parents business .If you are making a living for yourself and your children then its not anyone else business.Maybe the thing to do is get your parents to tell them .We all need help at times .Stand up for yourself.don't let them bring you down.


If you and your parents are cool with the arrangements, then your siblings should be, too. They don't need to making comments. I would simply tell them that you don't appreciate the snide remarks and you aren't going to listen anymore. If they start, you simply walk out of the room or hang up the phone.



I think that the fact that you took your own money and renovated their house says a lot in your favor. You're also working and I assume doing all you can to support your children yourself.
I think think that you should not pay attention to what your siblings tell you. first of all they are not the ones going through what you are. they don't know how you feel. therefor they should not be judging you. you are very strong woman to stand up take your kids and leave your husband. not alot of abused women do that so i applaud you. you should be proud of Your self. your children did not need that kind of life in the first place. it takes courage to leave. now as far as your siblings don't pay no attention to them, yes i know it hurts you the way they treat you but you have already taken enough. the only way they are going to stop is by you talking to them. tell them you need emotional support not to be judged. if that don't help then tell them to start minding there own business and don't get into your like. as long as you have the support of your parents that's all that counts. your kids need stability and not to be moving from one place to another and were best than at your parents home with there love and patients. every thing is going to be alright i will be praying for you so everything gets better for you. remember there is always light at the other side of the tunnel. you need to do whats best for you and your children they diserve the best and so do you. dont worry about what other people tell you. becuase remember we cant always make every body happy.last thing i focous on you and your kids make them happy which i am shure you do.try to give them the best of you. take care and i wish you the best.
I would confront my siblings and really let them have it. I would say that you don't appreciate the comments, that you are doing the best you can and that they need to imagine what its like to walk in your shoes being a single mom with 4 kids, 3 special needs because you don't have time for them to be acting like bratty jealous little children. And if they really have issues about not being the 'favorite' they need to seek counseling.
I agree, explain the situation and that they are hurting you...hopefully they will see through the situation..and understand the problem

Ladies: In general, does your husband like helping out with the home improvement projects around the house?

We bought a new home almost two years ago, and it's just as bare as it was the day we bought it. We have furniture for all of the rooms, but there are other things that I have been wanting to do such as: hang ceiling fans, install a garage door opener, hang curtains and valances, get our windows measured for wood blinds, install a screen door and a new front door, etc. The problem is I don't know how to do any of those things. My husband doesn't really know how either, but he's not interested in learning. I know how to use a power drill and hang pictures and other ';no brainer'; things, but I have a husband here, who's tall and healthy, and he won't even try.





I suggested we do things together. Since neither of us know what to do, I thought it would be a good idea for both of us to try and figure it out. On the rare occasion that I can get him to do something he wants to take control of it. After weeks of basically begging him he finally hung the curtain rods, but believe me when I say he didn't want to do it. A year or so after we were married I had to ';convince'; him to purchase a new living room set. He finally agreed. Earlier this year I was finally able to convince him that we needed a bedroom set. He finally agreed. I purchased a used dining table and china cabinet off Craigslist for a good price earlier this year, so that's the only reason he was in agreeance to that.





I understand he's a man and he's probably not interested in home decor like I am. That's my passion. But when I want to go find a picture, accessories for the house, furniture, etc. I have to do it alone. When I went to look for curtains I went by myself. There are times when I ask him to drive me somewhere to look at something for the house, and he refuses to go (because he doesn't like the fact that I walk around the store twice to make sure I'm not missing a deal). When he does agree to take me, which is rare because I try not to ask, he has an attitude. I can't even ask him to help me move anything around the house.





Yesterday, I asked him to help me move the china cabinet down a little bit. It's two pieces and I'm short and didn't want to turn the whole thing over. He was in the middle of playing a video game when I asked him. I didn't want to ask him to begin with but I had no choice. He acted like I was killing him. He told me I should have asked him when his friends were over (on New Year's Eve ... as if I was thinking about it then) so he could have help. There's only a few glasses in the china cabinet and we moved those, and I was willing to help him ... I just didn't want to move it by myself.





I just don't understand this. This is his house too, but it's almost like I have to beg him to do anything around here. I guess he figures because he's not interested in home decor and how things look, and since it's my thing, he shouldn't have to help. When I told him I was going to hire my cousin's handyman to help us out, he said, ';I didn't think we had money for that'; in a sarcastic tone. I've got to do something. I bought shelving for the pantry several months ago. After trying to get it up I asked him. He started talking about what I'd have to have to hang it, etc. ... when all the stuff we need is already at home. He just makes excuse after excuse when I ask him to do something of that nature ... and he always has something negative to say like, ';That hanger isn't strong enough to hold that mirror'; or ';This isn't the right type of screw'; when in reality it works just fine.





A little history - he is an only child and his mother has never been into decorating. His father is not a home improvements type of guy either. In their home it's just whatever ... as long as they can use it they don't care how it looks. That's fine with me and I can respect that. That's their home and I don't look down on them because they're not into decorating, but I am ...





I am sharp when it comes to computers and business stuff, but hardware, tools, and measurements just go right over my head. I'm horrible when it comes to math. But if I could learn how to do these things I would. I'm tired of begging him and as long as I sit and wait on him to become interested in what I'm doing (he'll never be that), I'll be sitting in the same place.





I have several relatives who know how to do flooring, ceiling fans, etc. and I asked one to come help me the other day. The first thing he said is, ';Okay ... but what about your husband?'; I'm so embarassed because my family will ask if we've got this up and that up, and I have to say no ... and they're all looking like ';Doesn't she have a husband?';





What should I do?Ladies: In general, does your husband like helping out with the home improvement projects around the house?
Honestly, it sounds like he grew up a little spoiled and never had to do things around the house (take that one up with his parents! lol) You're going to have to find a gentle, quiet way to instill a since of pride about his home in him. My husband was kind of the same when he was younger and I blamed it on the fact that we grew up differently. He got paid to mow the lawn or do things, I was just expected to do it. He was looking for a reward and my reward has always been the finished product. I think at some point he realized that I wasn't going to stop until things were done and now he's more into it.





I also learned to do things on my own and there was a little guilt when I was ripping a room apart to paint it while he was on the couch.....





That being said, there are still things that he wont do (or I wont allow him to do) painting is one of them (he's awful at it). I would never ask him to put curtains up (maybe the rod) and he would honestly rather take a bullet in the head than go shopping for ';house stuff'; with me.





Pick your battles. If he doesn't want to be part of the process (and many men don't) of picking out things for the house, do it yourself. When you need his help, tell him. If he claims he doesn't know how to do something (or you need help too) the internet is a great resource.





My husband is pretty helpful now and we talk about projects before we take them on. Sometimes, if he needs motivation, I'll mention that I'm getting an estimate on getting something done. He's either too cheap or prideful because the thought of another man in the house doing something that he COULD do.....kills him...lol





Good luck :)Ladies: In general, does your husband like helping out with the home improvement projects around the house?
We just bought a house and he single handedly demolished it and redid it. He knocked down walls, picked paint and carpeting. Jacuzzi bath tub.... The works. He cleans when I ask him to but not a huge house cleaner. I know I can depend onhim for the hard things.
I can't read all that stuff, I only have 2 hours to do this .





Brevity is your friend , thanks ,
Is this man just lazy in general? If so then I think you may have a real problem with him. If he otherwise works very hard and you can afford it then pay someone else to do these jobs.
If you are willing to learn, ask someone you know who knows how to do it show you. They also have classes in teaching you how to do things yourself. Look into one of those. Dont be embarrassed to ask your family for help just explain to them he isnt into the decorating thing. If you have the money to hire someone to do it. Then hire him if your husband doesnt like you doing that just tell him I have asked for your help and you didnt really want to. Tell him if you dont want me to hire someone to do it then to help you and do it together it is suppose to be a partnership. You might check into counseling also to see why he acts the way he does in doing things together.
We moved in with my MIL last June. She allowed us to paint our bedroom, and put up new window coverings. Fun fun!!





He was actually willing to work with me on it. The hardest part was the wall prep. But, we had that done in one afternoon. We were able to do the majority of the painting in one day, then went back the following week to put on the finishing touches and had someone install blinds. With the windows we have, we could not have measured and installed the blinds ourselves.





I would think that refraining from begging and nagging would be the first thing to do. Men just don't like it. I've done that with my husband and get no positive results.





One thing you can do is go to home depot or lowes and talk to a sales person and ask how to choose the correct paint and equipent and get pointers on how to do the job. Sometimes they offer free classes in repairing and installing things.





Maybe when he sees you getting into this stuff, he'll get motivated. If not it's okay. You'll feel good about yourself for these accomplishments.





Heh, wanna help us in our house renovations? :) Actually, I'm already having much fun with it. Our kitchen cabinets will come in soon!!
I think your approach is wrong. You have probably put out so much negative energy over it and talked about what he's doing wrong wrong wrong, that he just isn't inspired to do anything right anymore. All he hears is your criticisms and he just tunes you out.


I am a female, but I don't like decorating. I'm not good at it and it bores me. If my husband came at me with an attitude of why can't you this and why don't you that...I'd just shrug him off and probably start to get annoyed with him and it would make me not want to do it even more.


I think you need to bring more positive energy back into the situation. Don't put all these high expectations on him or demands. Maybe you really are annoying to go shopping with.


I know my mother in law is the type of woman that obsesses on home decorating and the truth is, no one wants to be around her much. Because she is so obsessive about it, it's boring to be around her. We don't care if the house looks spotless or like a Martha Stewart house, we care more about having fun in it and enjoying life. Especially if you have hard working people, who wants to spend all their time decorating or doing home improvement projects.


Just going on what you wrote, I don't know you two as people, but it sounds like you need to change your attitude. Be more fun and positive about it. If you want his help, set a time limit on it. Like two hours on a Saturday, not a full day. Quit beating him up for just being who he is and inspire him to want to help, not nag or belittle him into helping. It sounds like you enjoy putting him down.
He sounds scared to give it the effort because he doesnt know how to which i was the same but i had the right attitude as in i wanted to be able to do these things so i tried and found its not that hard after all but try taking control and keep on at him and say to him look if you could do it on my your own you would but you cant so can he help if he still refuses then have a little go and say sod it im calling a pro right now just to help me with this because you cant be bothered, he will do it in the end and you have to take into account that hes never done this before and messing up infront of you is probably what stops him trying but just keep on and on and say to him c'mon it wont take long and remind him now and then that you would like to be able to do it yourself but you dont have the strength he has or the diy skills so you need his help this will sink in that you just cant manage without him, get some books and stuff and start reading them in front of him and show him some of the things they do simply but has a great effect because when he does finaly do something that looks good like wooden flooring or a kitchen he will feel so different and he will want to try more stuff so get you both doing the basics first and complete one project together and watch the change in him i can almost reassure you he will be this diy pro by the end of 2009 if your persistant and patient enough with him, good luck,x
you ask ladies in general if their husbands like to help out around the house, well that would all depend on the guy i guess. i have to admit though that i have the very opposite problem than you do. my husband needs to do everything around the house when it comes to decorating it 'fixing' it in anyway. and no he is not a carpenter, he's actually a mechanic. we have laid down flooring, painted the rooms, thinking about getting new carpeting, everything he has done. now my suggestion to you would to ask your husband why he doesn't like doing these things? is it that he doesn't want to do the manual work or that he doesn't want to help pick out designs, paintings, curtains and such. when it comes to looks and styles i can't blame him for not wanting a part in it but if it is that he is pretty much lazy and doesn't want to help you paint, move furniture, hang fixtures and other 'labor' then i wouldn't call him a man, he seems to be more of a child.
There was just way too much reading for me, keep it shorter next time. My fiancee recently remodeled our house and so I spent a great deal of time at Home Depot. They do all sorts of little classes there for home improvement projects. I would imagine you could look up a lot of internet sites that would give you some pointers too

Invested money with guy that was supposed to pay me back on 3/21/09?

I met this guy at a casino playing a roulette machine and he was playing for fun and i told him a way i usually win money. i kept coming and leaving and asking him how he was doing, he was doing good.

i said i was gonna leave but i came back again to play,



i talked to him for a while hes 25 and his parents won the lotto in canada and bought a second home in south florida. he told me that they met people thru the lotto that deal with investments and that they have been doing it for the past year and he said that he wouldnt mind helping me out a bit. i met him at his house the next day with 500 dollers. i saw his id his last name is pincivero and i googled it and his parents names came up along with their story. i checked the homes adress and it was on record that the same people that won the lotto and his name were the owners. so he writes me a note saying '; i pincivero borrowed 500 from rinnie g and will pay back on 3/21/09 with interest'; so this was in 3/2/09 when 3/21 came he said they just deposited the money in their canadian account and had to wait a day. then on 23rd he said its being transfered it going to be a day. on 25th he said it arrived at his american account and its on freeze since its such a lump sum and is going to take a couple of days.

no im pretty sure i was scamed but why would someone give me so much information on their phone number full name and home address? do u think i might actually have a chance of getting my money? is their anything i can legally do?

thanx hope it made for interesting reading , i know a lot of people love to hear about others misfortunes lolInvested money with guy that was supposed to pay me back on 3/21/09?
Well that was pretty expensive tuition. Hope you learned your lesson. He gave you all that information because he has learned that it works, to get people to part with their money. As the old saying goes, ';a fool and his money are soon parted.';Invested money with guy that was supposed to pay me back on 3/21/09?
Of course he gave you a legitimate address. Even con artists need a place to live - or pretend to live. And any teenager can get a fake id and pretend to be related to a real person. It's called identity theft - the Pincivero lottery winners probably have no clue this is going on.



If he really was rich and really wanted to help you invest money, he could have simply introduced you directly to his investment manager, instead of ';borrowing'; the money from you. It's simply too messy for him to invest the money for you - it would have been much easier to simply create an account for you and give you advice on how to invest it. When you met in the casino, you gave him advice on how to win - you didn't take his money, walk away, and promise to return with his winnings.



First, call the police and tell them the whole story. Tell them you would like to help them catch this con artist.

You can call the guy and tell him you're really excited that this investment worked out, but you'd like some reassurance that you will have the money soon. Suggest he meet you in a few days to show you the money is in his account, and hint that you're ready to invest even more since this worked out so well.

When you meet, the cops swoop in and grab him. He goes to jail, and you can sue him under his real identity to get your $500 back.



good luck. and from now on, keep YOUR money under YOUR control.

How can I go about to getting my money or item from a convention charity auction?

So here's the deal. I went to an auction during a convention to help a charity. Fair enough, love doing this kind of stuff. I buy an item for $110 dollars, to be made and then sent to my home. Now here is when things get tricky.



The person who was supposed to make and send the item hasn't done so. He's said once it was returned and then stated he would send it out a month or so ago, but so far nothing. I've contacted someone in charge of the auction, but no luck with them either. Basically he's tried to contact the other person and probably thinks I'm trying to cheat one of them out of something, when I'm clearly not.



Just wanted to know what route I could possibly take now within the next few weeks if I don't hear anything back from either of them.How can I go about to getting my money or item from a convention charity auction?
Small claim court.

How do i make my own home hip hop recording studio?

I have a brand new laptop that I haven't used yet. I have a great usb microphone that I spent $100 on. I have good sound proof headphones. And a microphone stand with a windscreen. Oh yeah and some good recording software. Is this a great start. I have no more money and I'm wondering is it something else I need to buy. HELP PLEASE!How do i make my own home hip hop recording studio?
Here is a great little article on setting up a home studio: http://www.audioneeds.com/forums/content鈥?/a>



You should check out that site at http://www.audioneeds.com - it's a nice community filled with audio engineers who are there to help guide you in the direction you're trying to go. Anyway, check it out :)How do i make my own home hip hop recording studio?
Get some foam and cover that with in your closet.(soundproof) close the closet get a portable light 2 bucks at wal mart. to read lyrics etc Get a microphone editor and clears all the background noises etc
For a recording studio you need



* Mic Preamp

* Microphone

* SoundCard - Interface

* Cables

* Recording Software



Read more on this yahoo answer:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>

Anyone know when we are going to get some social housing built?

After 20 years I'm getting fed up with paying someone elses mortgage. As a matter of fact, I have been made redundant and I plan to go on social, get a flat and get the rent paid. I'm not going to shift till I get some action.



Maggie's poll tax screwed me, turned 18 and that b***h brought that out. Done me in for 15 years. I have worked all my life and still single. Couldn't get a mortgage because 5 times my wages didn't hit the cost of a flat. Had to buy furniture, then get rid of, then buy again as I moved in and out of properties. Have slept in car, caravan, broom cupboard etc. Had private landlords going though my things when I've been at work. Have worked 3 jobs simultaneously to try and get savings, annoys me because you have to pay basic rate tax on other jobs. There is so much more I would like to say, but I won't bore you.



Anyway, after speaking to the council the other day, they tell me that I probably will never get a council property. Well I'm sorry but that's not good enough. I refuse to pay somebody elses mortgage any longer, why should I pay there's when I can't get my own! Housing associations supposed to be doing the job of the council aren't interested with dealing in prospective council tenants. Most of the property they have available are for ';Key Workers'; only (police etc). Which is daft because they earn good money and can afford to rent privately. The government new build home buy scheme where you get the first year rent free, second year 1.5% rent on price of property and 3rd year at 3% capped is only available if you earn over 拢40.000, EH (Daft). It's the people on low wage that need this option. Government like to talk, ';we do this that and the other BLAH BLAH BLAH';. In reality, RUBBISH.



Unless you're married with 2 kids your shafted. Bloody country pisses me off, well no more! I apologise now for all of those of you still working, but I've just had enough. All I would like is my own place, with a sensible rent (would love to buy if prices were sensible) and no private landlords, had enough of them! Government can pay them, but no more of my money.



Well, until I get a place from the council, no more work from me. I'm going to get them to pay for everything I can until I see some action.



Sorry, but that's how I feel. 20 years and still struggling. You can see why youngsters don't try, when it's so far out of your reach why bother trying!Anyone know when we are going to get some social housing built?
i lived in a camper van with my husband for three years while we saved for a deposit for a house. we parked where ever we could around town which is not easy in this yellow lined no parking country . but we managed fine once we got used to it. we had a nice boss at one time who let us park in the works car park and run a wire through the window for our electricity. he was happy because he had us as nightwatchmen in his car park. ive got a lorry driver friend who does the same thing. his van is in his works car park and hes very happy in it. its not the best solution i know, but most single people are in the same boat as you are. its just impossible to buy anywhere and the council wont give single people anywhere either.Anyone know when we are going to get some social housing built?
A pillar of society. Instead of blaming everyone and everything around you and demanding they all pay your way (aka becoming part of the problem), why don't you help yourself out of it and become part of the solution.



It sounds to me like you are british (or under the british socialist government).
There is a shortage of Housing because of the immigration of 2.35 m people since 1997.



Its cause ';cause and effect';



.

Was I WRONG to gamble the family's money?

I am a 27 year-old single woman who lives at home with Mom and Dad. I don't have a job because I am an artist, and plan on selling my paintings in the future. My Dad recently cashed out on all his stock, so that Mom and me would be taken care of. He placed about $900,000 in a special bank account, but allowed all of us access to the funds.



I decided to take about $2,000 and go on a Casino trip with my best friend Betsy. We got to the casino, and I had all my money in $20 bills. I hit the first slot machine. It was a dollar slot. I pressed the spin button- and BOOM! I got three diamonds, and managed to win $80.00! I was shaking. I had never gambled before and suddenly I was up. I played all night and ended up with $400 more then I had started with. I used the money to buy some new clothes.



The next weekend I invited Betsy back to the Casino. This time I somehow lost, despite my system of only doing the dollar slots (its a better pay out). I ended up losing $3,000. It took about four hours to do. I was devastated. Betsy told me to stop while I was still okay, but I didn't listen. In the next 6 months I managed to spend about $889,000 of Dad's money to us at the slot machines. I know that sounds like a lot, but trust me it goes fast when you start playing tables- I got into black jack and there were tables where the maximum was $500 a bet. I couldn't help myself, honest! When my mother went to check the balances she was shocked and dismayed. She and Dad didn't plan on spending the money until seven or eight months after he placed it in the accounts, so they could get a small vacation home. I was supposed to use my money on other things, but apparently not gambling.



My parents refuse to speak to me. After my Dad blew up on me for ';throwing away'; 40 years of his hard-earned money, they kicked me out of the house! I explained that all I needed from them was about $20,000- $10,000 for my living expenses, and $10,000 to go back to the casino to try to earn back the money. They flat-out refused! I found this quite terrible considering I am their daughter and all. Why did this happen? I know I spent a lot of money in half a year on slots, but I didn't realize they would get so pissy. My grandparents also told them to cut me off and that I was getting addicted. Come on! I've gone to casinos all the time and hear all these old ladies saying ';I won $5,000 on a Quarter machine. I did well tonight.'; How do THEY win but I lost? I don't understand. I know the house technically wins, but I see A LOT of people walking out of casinos bragging about all the money the won on nickel slots and how they had JUST sat down and only put $5 in, and suddenly they struck it big. I have no idea why it didn't happen to me.



Please, why did this happen and was I wrong?Was I WRONG to gamble the family's money?
let me get this straight, you spend almost a million dollars on gambling, money that was not yours to take. money that was your fathers life savings, money that was your moms as well, you are 27 yrs old and still living with mom and dad and you have the nerve to ask them for more money to live on and want to know why its not your fault. wow i can't believe what i am reading. i hope this is not true and you have a vivid imagination.Was I WRONG to gamble the family's money?
Casinos are built on losers not winners. For every one winner, there are a thousand losers. I hope your story is NOT the truth, because that was one of the most ignorant stories I ever heard about gambling.....either that or you are just in COMPLETE denial. You were so wrong that if you were my daughter, I would disown you...THEN I would sue you in court for the amount you STOLE....(yes you STOLE the money because you did not use the money in the account for its intended purpose)
I would say to you the money was not for you to gamble with. It's always easier to destroy than create or make. The returns for gambling is generally negative. That means over time especially the longer you play the odds are against you. It's just the occasional jackpot or flashing lights that makes you want to play more. You might hit a Million dollar jackpot however the odds are against you. Your more likely to be struck by lightning.



Your goals now is to create wealth not destroy and get back the trust from your family. Create wealth with your art and make money. Learn that it's harder to create wealth for instance your Dad's nest egg of $900,000. It might take you over a lifetime to make that back and by that time it will probably be too late to ever pay back you Dad.
  • how to straighten hair with a flat iron
  • My boyfriend passed away suddenly we share a home together how can I by my share from his family?

    Eventually, I'm going to have to sit down and speak with his family I have no doubt in my mind that they will want half of what was my boyfriends and I'm completely fine with that, that would make my boyfriend sooooo... happy, yet I do not know their intentions or if they even expect to get anything, they have not approached me in regards to our home, but I assume there is a lot of time for that. I want to do the right thing, I want to sit and talk to his family and I would like to buy their half, this is the home we shared together it would hurt me to let go of that, yet I know that my bf would not leave his family in the cold, not his little sisters.



    The question is how can I buy his half without money??????????? (i dont want to sell) I know it's absurd but we owe almost the whole value of the home minus 4grand, how on earth will I manage to pull this one with 4grand equity? I'm pretty sure there are ways, will the bank need to aprove me for a loan for that amount? and if so is it worth paying my mortgage and an extra settlement? I need answers, maybe someone who has been in my situation can help me...If we are able to work things out amicably a lawyer will still need to be involved correct?My boyfriend passed away suddenly we share a home together how can I by my share from his family?
    just talk to his family about the house. dont be rude and say something like I WANT THE HOUSE SO GIMME, just be polite. and since he was just ur bf u cant get money from him.My boyfriend passed away suddenly we share a home together how can I by my share from his family?
    dude, he's your boyfriend--you get zip. It's when ur married that you get stuff



    (unless of course he gave you something in his will)
    You loved him so much you are going to fight over his possessions. WTF!!!
    u aren't entiteled to his money

    you aren't married and he is dead so he dosn't

    have to pay!
    I'm so sorry for your lost :( that's all I have to say
    im sympathetic with you.Tell me the ways you earn or CAN earn.ill be able to help you.god bless you.i am Sorry for your boy friend.let your parents also play a major role in your life.half your problems will be solved without you even feeling the pinch.
    I am so sorry for your loss. I suggest you just talk with his family. I'm sure they would have only the best intentions for you. Who knows, they may even just give you that ';half'; of the house. However, don't jump to any conclusions or make any assumptions. So, just talk face-to-face with his family, and see where that takes you. When it comes to signing time, make sure you have a lawyer on your side. Best wishes.
    is the home in both of your names? if so, i don't think you would actually have to buy, probably just re-do the loan in only your name. it would be stupid of his family to want to keep his half of the home because then they would also be entitled to pay half of the mortgage. and its not like the could kick you out of anything. idk, this is a tough situation that i have no experience in. you really do need to just sit down and talk with them about it.
    ALL THIS OVER 4 GRAND!!!!!



    WTF!!!!!!!
    The only real value in that house is potentially the 4 grand you have in equity. Even that is doubtful.



    I doubt the family will want to incur his debt from you.
    It would help if your boyfriend left a will. Otherwise,

    depending on the laws in your state all of your boyfriend's

    property will go through probate. This means you could lose your house to the state. I strongly suggest you contact a lawyer who specializes in these type of matters. The sooner

    the better. My condolences on your loss.
    I don't think you will need a lawyer on this one at all.



    You basically don't have any equity... if they wanted a share in the house, they would actually be making payments because they won't be getting anything. I'm betting that you won't be approached at all.



    You might as well refinance to get his name off the loan (and probably get a better rate). Just contact the mortgage company and ask to redo the loan paperwork... at your leisure. Have a copy of his death certificate on hand.

    You will also need copies of the death certificate to get control over any joint bank accounts.

    If you are not a beneficiary on any of his bank accounts or life insurance or 401K at work... you may not be able to get that. Such things will probably go to his family, either directly or via probate.
    Em,unless he had a will and stated that you were to get half of his half of the house you wont be entitled to it. Its up to the family whether they want you to have any of it or not. You will need a solicitor no matter what, you might be allowed to remortgage for the full loan amount, it depends on your income, you need to talk to his family at some point and see what they would like to see happen with the house and then go from there.
    You say that you and your boyfriend ';shared a home together.'; Does that mean that both of you were on the deed and mortgage? If the house was in his name, then it goes to his family. Legally you don't own any part of the home. If that is the case, they will probably want to sell it and you would have the right to purchase it from them if you could get financed.



    If your name is on the deed/loan, then you still own it. You don't lose it unless he stipulated something different in his will.

    As for buying half of the house--You and your boyfriend don't actually own most of the house. The bank does. You don't have to give his family half of the value since your equity was extremely low.

    In that case, there really isn't much to be left to his little sisters and other family members.



    The first thing that you need to do is find out if he had a will or not. If he passed away young, then he might not have. Also, are you on the deed/mortgage? Another thing to ask yourself is ';Can you afford the house payments, insurance, utilities, etc. on your own?'; Be honest with yourself. Look at how much you make and then add up the expenses for just the home. Then add your other bills--car payment, cell phone, insurance, and whatever else you may have to pay. Make sure that you can afford all of this before you commit yourself to this house. I'm sure that you would like to keep the home the two of you shared, but be sure that you can afford it.
    WE ARE A FINANCIAL COMPANY THAT RENDER LOAN SERVICES鈥?.



    I am Mr. Donald George (CEO) of Donald Micro Finance Company; we offer all kinds of loans with different currencies,



    I鈥檓 a registered and accredited loan lender that give out loan to loan seeker at the below loan interest rate, interested person should contact us with our company e-mail below,



    We offer loans at low interest rate of 2% just to help you with the loan; our services are flexible, within a short period of time your loan will be infected to your bank account,



    You can contact us with our company e-mail address below,



    We await your contact鈥?.



    Donald George (CEO)



    Donald Micro Finance Company



    E-mail: donald_microfinance@yahoo.com



    Contact us via e-mail鈥?



    Thanks for your patronage
    LOAN FIRM



    The loan that gives you the opportunity to own the asset which you have been longing for. your opportunity to acquire asset without having problem you are save with me. I am who i say i am.



    HOW TO APPLY FOR YOUR LOAN

    1. Obtain a form

    2. Complete brown Mcalin Loan application form.

    3. Submit your application form to brownmclainloanfirm@yahoo.com

    How to get out of debt, making little money?

    My husband and I have never been good with money. I am 30 now and have filed bankruptcy twice a chapter7 and chapter13. The chapter 13 was dismissed because we couldn't afford the payment...so I am heading towards another chapter 7. Most of our bills are medical, due to a daughter with hearing loss, and getting laid off and having no insurance. I am in the Army and want to get out, but I am not sure if I can afford it. We can't get anyone to give us a consolidation loan because we don't own anything. I hear alot about credit card debt, but we probably have maybe 4000 in credit card debt. The rest is medical and vehicles, but we are about 35,000 in debt. Our credit is shot. I want to get out so I can be home with my family and not in Iraq. I also want to be able to buy a house before I die and gosh not be rich but just able to maintain. Having to file yet another bankruptcy is just killing me but I feel that I have no other choice. HELP!!How to get out of debt, making little money?
    Another bankruptcy? I doubt you would be granted another one under the latest revisions in that bank of law. You and your husband need to learn how to live with greatly lower expectations. Use public transportation rather than buying cars you cannot pay for. Sure there are folks out there will sell you a car, regardless of you past credit history, but you will never get out of t he deal. The interest rate will be like 30% and the car will fall apart before you get it paid off. User the bus. Take extra jobs, washing windows is something anyone can do, but people hate doing it, so do it for them at a fee. Mow lawns if you have to, there is no limit to the ways you can earn money. Talk to your creditors and let them know you are in trouble, they might be willing to do one or several things to make things better. You don't lose anything by at least asking them.How to get out of debt, making little money?
    You can visit http://www.cashguru.info and find very useful tips and several articles on debt consolidation.

    Report Abuse


    I can relate .. I work from home, so I can stay home with my kids and still contribute .. we now own our home (no loans) and both cars are paid off ..



    I can tell you more about it if you wish, but it is a home business and not a J.O.B. .. if you are open to hard work and willing to learn .. then I think we can talk!
    First, I have a question... Why do you have medical bills for your daughter if you are in the Army? My daughter had a heart condition at birth and had to go through a lot of testing, but my hubby was in the Navy and we had TriCare so they took care of everything. If you are in the Army, you should have the same benefits.



    Second, I know where you are coming from with feeling swamped. My husband and I just filed Chapter 7. He's been out of the Navy now for 3 years and has bounced from job to job to job, so we have fallen behind. One thing that I may suggest to you is that you try to get someone to take over payments on your car. Atleast on one of them. If you have 1 less car payment that would ease things up a bit, I'm sure. We are only using my husband's single cab truck at the moment... and we're a family of 5, so I understand the sacrifice that it would be, but it can be done. The other thing that i can suggest is to live in Base Housing if you can. This will cut down on the rent and utility bills. Most bases I lived on had very nice housing. Look at how much you spend on food-can you pare that down at all? Do you eat out? Looking at your budget... sit down with your bank statement and put all of your expenses into catagories. Where do you spend the most? Entertainment? Eating out? All those things add up. Just sit down and take a look at your spending because that will give you clues as to where you can trim it down to have more money to live. Hang in there!!! Believe me, things can and will get better!!!!!!!
    Try to take on things one at a time. I believe that each and every one of us hits a low spot sometime in our lives, but we can always overcome it. Just don't stop trying.



    To get help with financial matters, consider counseling. If you'd rather do it on your own reading a few good books written by financial gurus might prove useful. There are tons and tons of them out there. I know people who have put the advice into action and have actually made very good progress. Also, you might want to look at some personal finance blogs. Often these are by people who have been there. They know what they are talking about. I'd really recommend the following two blogs:



    http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/

    http://www.thesimpledollar.com/



    Sometimes, the advice in these books and blogs might sound way too easy. Too easy to really work out. But if you think about it, the advice that they give is really common sense. Its just a bit difficult for us to really accept that the solution to some of our problems is really very simple. Or at least not as complicated as we thought.



    Read some expert books and blogs. They will give you ';specific'; strategies to deal with your situation and gain financial independence.



    Your job issue might prove a bit tricky at the moment. I understand how debt can really cripple your choices. But try applying for jobs locally. Also, see if you can find some occasional / casual jobs that can bring in a little bit of extra cash. You can do stuff like edit resumes, read slush piles for publishing companies, etc.



    Hope this helps a bit! Good luck!
    It may seem like it will take a long time but I listed my debts , put them in order of importance (who is likely to sue you or garnish wages first), pay $5 to $10 extra each month until it pays off. Check with the medical companies and see if you qualify for aid, also check with any agency who may help with medical bills. Go to churches, try to get a government grant to get you out of the hole life has shown you. Ask anyone you know (friends, family, preachers, just anyone who might have ideas). Don't hesitate to ask the companies you owe what they can do to help

    What to do when your mother in law hates you...I mean really hates you!?

    My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years, we are getting married in June. My soon to be mother in law hates me....I don't know what to do. I've tried to have a conversation with her, she gives me a bare minimal answer, the only time she ever calls us is to have my boyfriend watch his little brother (almost every weekend) She kicked out my boyfriend and chose a drunk loser over him because he wanted my boyfriend out, she moved this guy into her house only 2 months if that after curtis father passed away, didn't even introduce him to us, he just showed up one day and never left. Curtis has been living with me for the last 3 years, my parents took him in after she kicked him out. She has called me a wh**e and has shoved me around (curt and i had been together for about a year and cheated on me and i was trying to leave their house and she wouldn't get out of my way and told me that I was such a ***** and that I deserved what he did to me). My parents do everything for my boyfriend and I, I mean they go out of their way to help us. They buy us dinner every weekend, they spend time with us, they even call my boyfriend but, he never answers their phone calls. They buy curtis anything he wants, anytime he needs new shoes they buy them for him. They give us money, they let us live in their second home rent free now after they bought bigger home and moved out of state. His mom never call us to ask us over for dinner or even to hang out, it is always you NEED to hang out with your brother. I mean I feel that the only thing curtis is to her a babysitter so she and loser a$$ boyfriend go out and get drunk or whatever else. I'm completely at my wits end with this! I have no idea what to do, we both dislike each other. I've tried to tell my boyfriend that she hates me and he throws these huge fits saying that I don't want him to have anything with his family and thats not it at all. I just want to be accepted, but I feel like this will never happen. I mean when we go visit them, she won't talk to me at all, unless curt is in the room then she ';acts'; like she likes me, but once he leaves she gives me horrible looks. She has NEVER called me just to ask how my day is (I mean in 5 years!!) or how the wedding is going or even offered to help us with the wedding, which is fine because my parents are. But, she told us she wouldnt let us get married on the beach actually her words were ';over my dead body';, but she is NOT willing to pay for a thing!! She wants me to getting in a warehouse at her work!! UGH!! I have no idea what to do and I feel like this is going to ruin what my boyfriend and I have together. Can someone please help me?What to do when your mother in law hates you...I mean really hates you!?
    Sounds like a tough situation. You can't really reason with your soon to be mother in law cause she doesn't seem to be a resonable person. It sucks that your boyfriend doesn't see it. But why not ask him to ask her? Point out what You just said, she's not willing to pay for the wedding but she puts in her own opinion. She doesn't call to ask how you are. You probably already considered this but maybe your boyfriend doesn't want to start a fight with his mom. She did kick him out so maybe he doesn't mind babysitting for his mom cause he wants to stay close to her so he probably knows how his mom treats you but doesn't want to admit it. Honestly it sounds like you can't fix this relationship if she isn't willing. If your parents are supportive then thats all you need, have you talked to them about it?? She doesn't sound like a good person at all so ignore her she's miserable and miserable people like to make others misreable. She doesn't like you because your happy in love not because of anything you've done. Turn the other check and be the bigger person. Your boyfriend will see admit wahat she is and cut her off then she'll be alone(cause that man of hers doesn't sound like he'll be around long) When you visit don't acknowlege her she TRYING to get under your skin cause she knows it gets to you. DON'T LET THE BITCHES GET TO YOU OR THEY WIN!!!What to do when your mother in law hates you...I mean really hates you!?
    maybe she wouldnt hate you if you didnt ask long and confusing questions
    I think sometimes certain moms cant take that thier little boy doesnt need them anymore and is now going to depend on another woman. I think that she is jealous of you and feels like if she scares you away she will have her little boy again. Your boyfriend needs to step up and give her hell. He should be taking responsibility cause it isnt fair. It's not you it's her. Deep seeded in her brain. goodluck
    Honey, I am to old to mix words here and you are a grown woman.... either deal with this in an adult way, get her attention and just speak up, or leave it alone and live that way.... and let me just mention, if you marry this spoiled brat of a man you will deal with all of it from now on.... just warning you..... there are so many problems in your relationship that your soon to be MNL is the least of them.... sorry, but that is just the truth...... God bless

    How do i convince my parents to let me buy an xbox360?

    My friend just won an xbox 360 pro with 2 games but he already has one. So I said I would buy it from him for 100$ and a ps2 and rockband 1 and 2 for it. So I got home and my parents said we would talk about it. When I asked them today they said no its a waste of money. WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?! Please tell me how to persuade them to let me buy it before someone else buys it from my friend!!!How do i convince my parents to let me buy an xbox360?
    shove pizza crust up your butt to force them to take you to the emergency roomHow do i convince my parents to let me buy an xbox360?
    Threaten suicide.
    dont ask what type of wuse ask there parents what to buy
    Show them that you are willing to earn it.



    Hope my answer helped.

    Twitter: @KristianDunne
    Is the money coming from ur parents? If so, tell them that evryone has a 360 because it has really good graphics. like 10 times better then that ps2 and it can also be used with netflix subscription to watch movies. its also a good deal at a 100$$ plus the ps trade. And then tell them that u love them alot and u will keep the yard clean or ur bedroom. And dont forget to take out the trash.
    That's crazytalk xD

    with such a good deal how can they say no?! they just don't understand... %26gt;.%26lt;



    ANYWAY...

    tell them that xbox 360's are AMAZING in every way and that there are lots of fun games out there that even they might like. (If they don't play FPS video games [or any at all xP] they could easily get into Oblivion, Fallout 3, BioShock, Fable II and more) And as said below, they could kinda use it to keep you in line. My dad does it all the time. Mostly by threatening to smash it but hey, everybody's different. xD



    For 100$ you should snatch it up fast before your friend sells it to somebody else. Even a refurbished xbox with one controller still goes for $159.99 at GameStop, and to get a brand new one for just 100 is.........well I don't even know what to say. I would just try and do anything I possibly could to make them come around. :D lawll....well Idk if this helped at all but good luck! :]

    Can i clean my macbook led screen with water?

    My screen is really dirty and I have not cleaned it because i do not know how to clean it.Can i clean it with a soft cloth and water?Is there any at home products I can use,because right now i do not have money to buy no products..Please%26amp;Thank You.Can i clean my macbook led screen with water?
    I don't own a mac, but i would say to you that if you clean it with water it will spill and go inside the system damaging it further, go and buy these laptop screen wipes and use them, a cloth like this http://www.maxupgrades.com/istore/index.鈥?/a> , just go to a computer place like pcworld and buy one from there, ask them to help you decide which one to buy if your unsureCan i clean my macbook led screen with water?
    ok
  • hack into myspace
  • which is the best way
  • How do i convince my parents to let me buy an xbox360?

    My friend just won an xbox 360 pro with 2 games but he already has one. So I said I would buy it from him for 100$ and a ps2 and rockband 1 and 2 for it. So I got home and my parents said we would talk about it. When I asked them today they said no its a waste of money. WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?! Please tell me how to persuade them to let me buy it before someone else buys it from my friend!!!How do i convince my parents to let me buy an xbox360?
    shove pizza crust up your butt to force them to take you to the emergency roomHow do i convince my parents to let me buy an xbox360?
    Threaten suicide.
    dont ask what type of wuse ask there parents what to buy
    Show them that you are willing to earn it.



    Hope my answer helped.

    Twitter: @KristianDunne
    Is the money coming from ur parents? If so, tell them that evryone has a 360 because it has really good graphics. like 10 times better then that ps2 and it can also be used with netflix subscription to watch movies. its also a good deal at a 100$$ plus the ps trade. And then tell them that u love them alot and u will keep the yard clean or ur bedroom. And dont forget to take out the trash.
    That's crazytalk xD

    with such a good deal how can they say no?! they just don't understand... %26gt;.%26lt;



    ANYWAY...

    tell them that xbox 360's are AMAZING in every way and that there are lots of fun games out there that even they might like. (If they don't play FPS video games [or any at all xP] they could easily get into Oblivion, Fallout 3, BioShock, Fable II and more) And as said below, they could kinda use it to keep you in line. My dad does it all the time. Mostly by threatening to smash it but hey, everybody's different. xD



    For 100$ you should snatch it up fast before your friend sells it to somebody else. Even a refurbished xbox with one controller still goes for $159.99 at GameStop, and to get a brand new one for just 100 is.........well I don't even know what to say. I would just try and do anything I possibly could to make them come around. :D lawll....well Idk if this helped at all but good luck! :]

    Can i clean my macbook led screen with water?

    My screen is really dirty and I have not cleaned it because i do not know how to clean it.Can i clean it with a soft cloth and water?Is there any at home products I can use,because right now i do not have money to buy no products..Please%26amp;Thank You.Can i clean my macbook led screen with water?
    I don't own a mac, but i would say to you that if you clean it with water it will spill and go inside the system damaging it further, go and buy these laptop screen wipes and use them, a cloth like this http://www.maxupgrades.com/istore/index.鈥?/a> , just go to a computer place like pcworld and buy one from there, ask them to help you decide which one to buy if your unsureCan i clean my macbook led screen with water?
    ok

    How can I get the more money from an old car?

    I have a 1983 nissan 4 wheel, Iiked it but the transmission is not working no more Ihave it parked at home since 2 years already, flat tires etc. I just don't want to give it away or dump it, I want to sell it but of course nobody would buy it because the cost is more to fix the transmission. What can I do with it, to get the most money out of it?How can I get the more money from an old car?
    ';I have a 1983 nissan 4 wheel....';



    I have to assume that, by the above statement, you mean it's a four wheel drive. If this is so, then you can still get some pretty good money for it. Those old Nissan 4x4 Hardbodies are very rare and in somewhat of a high demand. I don't know where you live, but I live right by the Mexican border and I see those trucks being towed into Mexico all the time. The Mexicans like the fact that the truck is 4x4, but still very economical with gas. And, they're willing to buy it and fix it because they like those trucks so much.



    If I were you, I'd simply post an ad on Craigslist.com and just be honest about the tranny not working. If the other parts are good and the body is rust free, then you should still get a buyer.



    The other option would be for you to sell it in parts. It'll take longer to sell everything, but you'll get the most money out of it that way.



    Last thing. That I know of, charities won't take non-working vehicles because they don't have money to be fixing it and then selling it. It's like you're giving them more of a burden than a blessing.How can I get the more money from an old car?
    Donate it to a worthy charity. You will get a tax deduction for your donation which will get you a refund on your taxes. Otherwise, you will have to pay to have it towed away. It is junk. If it was running, you could get a nice price for it as a classic car. But it will never run again because the cost to fix it is higher than the worth.
    wash it. call it an ';antique that will be worth tons in the future'; $$$$ SOLD!!!
    Don't assume its worthless to everyone.



    Some people might have mechanic skills but little money and an uncle with a junkyard so they can get a used transmission for free and then install it themselves.



    Id call junkyards and see what they offer you. Then price it $100-200 higher and stick it on craigslist and see if you get any takers. It might take a few months. Or it might not sell at all.



    Cleaning it up as good as possible will help if anyone except a junkyard ends up buying it.



    Your car has value. The question is, is it worth $100, $150 or up to $350-400.



    Depends on finding the exact person who wants one and can do the work on their own. Hard but not impossible. And it might not be worth waiting for.

    Estate planning issue between siblings- how do we decide who buys father's home?

    My father wants to sell his home since he is retired and no longer has income. My brother currenly lives there, pays no rent or bills (currently all covered by Dad), but mows the grass, and that's really all. Major repairs are also covered by Dad. I would like to buy the house, as would my sister. We both have the financial means to do so, my brother doesn't, but thinks the money will fall out of the sky.



    Now that he wants to sell the house, brother thinks he's the logical buyer as he's been living there by himself the past ten years (Dad has lived elsewhere). Dad is ill, so whomever buys the house will likely have primary caretaking duties of Dad as well-brother doesn't want to do this.



    How do we siblings decide who should buy the house? Anyone out there know of any way to figure this out? I don't want to fight with siblings. Brother is extraordinarily cruel and mean-spirited when backed into a corner, but Dad babies him. Any ideas on how to approach this?Estate planning issue between siblings- how do we decide who buys father's home?
    AHH INTERESTING,HAD SAME PROB,IT'S REALLY UP TO DEAR OLD DAD,TALK TO HIM IF, HE IS STILL ABLE AND IS OF SOUND MIND.THERE IS A VICIOUSNESS WHEN IT COME TO INHERATANTS, I KNOW, YOUR BRO THINKS HE HAS RIGHT TO IT. MY ADVICE IS ,SEEK COUNSEL,NOW, MY BRO GOT THE WHOLE BALL.AFTER MY FATHER WAS MUNIPULATED IN TO LEAVING IT ALL TO HIM....SURE TAKE CARE OF THE HOUSE .YOUR THE BRO.TAKE A LITTLE EXTRA BUT NOT ALL...WATCH YOUR** SS GIRLS,BROTHER DEAR IS CRUEL, COULD TURN INTO 'BROTHER DEAREST'Estate planning issue between siblings- how do we decide who buys father's home?
    Well the best thing is to get all involved into a meeting with your dad. and talk that is the only way to solve this. and the one that can buy it can do it i would think but i am not sure how your dad is thinking. its horrible but i have seen so many families broken apart because of wanting this and that before someone is dead. why can't you want and just decide amoung yourselves. i mean its someone that is got the means and the one that doesn't have money i guess hes out of luck and must move to a uso place or something like that. its hard when one is lazy and there is one in all families i know i have one of my sons lazy.
    It sounds like the brother probably wouldn't cooperate in the sale of the house anyway. Your father should consider a reverse mortgage to get equity out of the house for his own purposes. If there's going to be hard feelings about it; the house should just be sold.
    Sell the house through a realtor. Whomever has the money will buy it. Father will have to make arrangements to move out. If you and your sis do buy, it will be your decisions to take care of him. If not , your father can buy a condo and your brother can move in with him. If he doesnt want to take care of father, he will have to move on.

    Can i tone my body without having to spend money for a gym or buy exercise equipment?

    I have a stocky build and a bit of a belly, I have recently started doing daily exercises to remove some of the pudge (press ups, sit ups and dumbell lifts are the only things i do). My arms are ok, but my pecks are on the saggy side with no definition and how can i remedy this using exercises at home and whats best for getting rid of the beer gut? The only exercise equipment i have are some good quality dumbells weighing around 10Kgs each and i don't want to fork out unnecessarily. Any tips?Can i tone my body without having to spend money for a gym or buy exercise equipment?
    Yes, but obviously a gym membership or a few other pieces of equipment such as different weight dumbells will help. You just need some real information on what is a healthy diet and how to exercise.



    Forget about losing weight per se. Just adopt a healthy lifestyle.Eat a good healthy diet and excercise a lot!!! The more excercise you do the better!



    For a healthy diet, you need to be eating small to medium meals regularly. 4 or even 5 times a day. Each meal (apart from breakfast which should preferably be fibre rich), should contain a balanced ammount of carbohydrates for energy, (from potatoes, rice and pasta, etc) protien (from fish, chicken, occassional red meat is fine, soya is good too) and plenty of vitamins, minerals and antioxidants (simple fresh fruit and veg). Eat like this and make sure you are well hydrated (fruit juice is as good as water, any fluid counts, but some fluids have negative effects too, such as alcohol or caffiene rich drinks.)



    Now for the science bit: Protien is essential for repairing muscle and keeping the muscle you do have healthy (this includes your heart, lungs, brain etc). You naturally lose the ammount of protien you have throughout the day (through urine etc) so this needs to be replenished regularly on a daily basis.



    Carbohydrates are essential for energy. You won't be able to function without it. It also regulates body fat and glucose etc.



    Vitamins and minerals are obviously essential for a variety of reasons. For normal growth and development, for the healthy maintenance of the cells, tissues, and organs that make up our bodies, and also to let us efficiently use chemical energy provided by food.



    You can have a wide range of healthy meals with this, from Thai, Chinese, Italian, British, Indian, etc. Just make sure each meal contains balanced ammounts of these three. On the bright side too, fresh veg and rice and pasta is a lot cheaper than crappy junk food!



    This doesn't mean you cant have chocolate or pizza/takeaway/etc, just save them as very occassional treats.



    The big secret to keeping a healthy weight and staying healthy is EXCERCISE, particularly cardio excercise.



    Cardio exercise includes any form of excercise such as running/jogging/swimming/cycling etc that gets your heart rate pumping and you sweating and out of breath. It will not only burn calories and reduce your body fat levels, therefore making you 'slimmer' by having less fat on you, but will also improve your resting heart rate and lung function, making you healthier.



    I cannot understate the importance of cardio excercise. It is this which will basically burn the body fat off you.



    But you have to remember that once you have shed a bit of fat you have to have a nice toned body underneath the fat to show off.



    Strength training will help you strengthen and tone your muscles. This is done with the use of weights or by free training.



    There are essentially (without getting overly complicated) two types of strength excercises based on different types of muscle fibres depending on wether you want to build size, bulk and power, or just 'tone' up the lean muscles an get more muscle endurance.



    Heavy weights with short reps/sets will build your fast twitch muscle fibres and build size, power and strength. Imagine big guys at the gym lifting heavy weights.



    But if you use light to medium weights with lots of reps/sets you will excercise your slow twitch muscle fibres, you wont build size, but you will tone up your body and train muscle endurance. This will obviously make you 'look' healthier and more toned, but will also increase your metabolism (as your muscles demand more energy) so you will burn calories faster. These muscles are also excercised a lot with cardio workouts (i.e your leg muscles when running).



    Your arms for example, will need bicep curls and tricep dips using weights and reps of your choice (heavy - low reps, light - lots of reps) and also shoulder excercises such as holding the weights at your waist and lifting them perpendicular to your side or in front of you, etc etc.



    Your stomach will need excercises that cover the entire torso. Leg raises for your lower ab wall, crunches, sit ups and planks for your upper and all over ab wall, oblique twists for your sides and superman stretches for your lower back for example.



    These are just basic examples, there are literally hundreds of excercises, but it is impossible to show you on a site like this, get a trainer at a gym to show you or look some up on the net but remember the basic rules of muscles and weights.



    As far as excercise goes, you should aim to strike a balance between cardio training and strength training, this way you will build good strong and toned muscle, but also keep your body fat levels down and increase your heart and lung performance, making you much fitter and healthier.Can i tone my body without having to spend money for a gym or buy exercise equipment?
    run. jump rope. jumping jacks. any exercise that involves endurance is going to help you loose the flab.



    drink water and get plenty of vitamin c and keep up the exercises you list. most important...be patient and keep it up.
    go on a sunbed or get a spray tan you puff tone thought you ment tan but your still a puff though
    To build your chest you could buy a cheap exercise ball and do a dumb bell bench press while laying on that. And there are different varieties of pushups you can do shown here http://www.menshealth.com/cda/article.do鈥?/a>
    Burpees... It's an exercise similar to a squat thrust. The way I do it is as follows. Starting position is standing with your feet shoulder width apart and arms by your side. Go into a squat placing your hands flat on the ground in front of you. Placing your full weight on your palms hop slightly while extending your legs into a pushup position. DO NOT let your back arch downward. Keep your abs tight and then spring your knees back to your chest and stand back up into the starting position. That's one repetition (I like to do a pushup in the middle there before I stand back up.) I perform it in pyramids which means I do 1 rep and rest for 10 seconds then 2 reps, rest, 3 reps, rest and on up to 20 then I work my way back down to one. This builds balance, core strength, chest and shoulders, and its a great cardiovascular workout. Research ';calisthenics'; through Google. Expert Village has some great videos on the subject as well.
  • remove acne scars from
  • Can I evict my parents from my house?

    My parents nearly lost their home as it was in foreclosure. They were able to sell it and get very little money from it. I agreed to buy a home to accomodate us all, and from their house sale, $16,000 was placed towards the downpayment. They do not pay the mortgage, which was promised to me that they would. I pay the utilities and am currently using savings in my name (that belongs to my mom so creditors would not get it) to pay the mortgage. I used my good credit to buy the house but wanted to live somewhere else I could better afford. Now I have the house on the market to sell. My parents are alcoholics and have made life unbearable for me with the vile names. I live in one room of the house to avoid them. Can I evict them? They have no lease and won't sign one now. They did put money towards the downpayment I have a lot of emotional issues and regret the choice I made in doing this. How do I get out of it if the house does not sell? I won't work 2 jobs to help them.Can I evict my parents from my house?
    Are they on the title? Is their name anywhere in any paperwork? If you wanna go the tough-love route serve them thirty day notice to vacate and then file formal eviction notice. Put them on the street and then sell the house.



    Be sure they know if they mention the down-payment and mom's savings the court will probably confiscate that money and turn it over to their creditors.



    As you are paying nothing but the utilities, I say you are morally obligated to hold all the money in safe-keeping for them.



    I would propose you find a very lenient (can we say stupid) landlord who will rent to them without your involvement and then you can give them a monthly allowance from the proceeds of the house and mom's savings. I'd make it at a level than would last about 10 years or so.Can I evict my parents from my house?
    Make it your driving passion to sell this house and then return to your parents the money advanced for the down payment, and the money your mother has advanced to pay the mortgage.



    I mean, even if you have to take a loss to complete the sale, sell.
    Sorry about your plight but we do not get involved in family affairs. Contact a good lawyer. You may lose your parent's affection and respect for whatever action you may take against them. It sounds like a case of '; good riddance ';.
    You should get everything on paper. But hind sight is 20/20. What you need to do at this point is talk to a lawyer who has real estate knowledge. You're probably not going to get anything out of this deal. You may be responsible for the house payments depending on how the paperwork is drawn up. Unfortunately your emotional problems with your parents probably won't factor in to the end deal. I don't understand the part about the money is savings. If its their money you should give it back to them and just get out from under the contract and get your own place. Get the house out of your name and let the house sale be up to your parents. Getting your name off the paperwork is a must so your credit won't suffer. Again talk to a lawyer. Good luck and talk to a lawyer quickly.
    Your parents may have moved into your home after some years of their living apart from you. This means that you and your parents formed life-styles and habits independently of one another for the greater part of your lives. In the course of several decades, those life-styles and habits may have become very different. But now, as a caregiver, you are confronted with the need to blend your life harmoniously with those in your care. This can be more difficult than if you had been living together all along.



    Although, commendably, you may be supplying what is required, this situation understandably puts day-to-day pressures on you. Caring for your parents is natural. Growing old and getting sick is not. The Creator never purposed that people lose their strength and health with age. Therefore, do not think there is something wrong with you because the situation requires more, emotionally and physically, than you had foreseen.



    Your parents鈥?needs exceed what you are able to provide, and what is required here is help from an outside source. You said your parents have an addiction, try contacting professional help and get them the help they need first. Or, it might help if you enlist the aid of a trusted friend who knows your abilities, your limitations, and your family situation.



    Getting them the help needed will be an improvement and then you will see your housing situation will get better. So start by getting them professional help for their addictions.
    My Advice to you is for you to suck it up!! and be the man in the house, and accept the responsibly given to you. really if you have a problem with them how about you move out of your own house and get an APT.. since i guessing that you are too old to live with your parents. and how dare you even think about kicking out your own parents. since they raise you into the proud person you are. so how about showing some respect for your parents.



    Also if you do this how will he rest of your family feel about you

    Questions about moving from America to Vietnam?

    I am Caucasian (an American citizen), and my husband is Vietnamese (still a VN citizen but hasnt been there since 79 and has served in the US Marine Corp). We have decided that we would like to plan to move to Vietnam in the near future.

    1. What is the cost of living like? If you were to move to VN

    without being employed prior to the move...how much US money would you

    need to survive for a month?



    2. Is the paperwork difficult to get in and out of VN?



    3. How much do homes cost there? We would like to be able to save

    enough money to go to VN and buy a modest home...but have no idea what

    that would cost.



    4. Are there many companies/organizations looking for American

    workers in Vietnam?



    5. What do you feel is the best and worth thing about living in Vietnam?



    If u have any other helpful info, please feel free to share it with me.Questions about moving from America to Vietnam?
    1) The cost of living in Vietnam is about 1/8th of living in the U.S. You can live well on just a few hundred dollars a month. A couple thousand dollars can keep you both comfortable for two to six months depending on how large you want to live.



    2) All you need to get into Vietnam is a visa. You can obtain your visa from the nearest consulate, but I recommend using a travel agency that knows travel to Vietnam. You will need a long term visa if you intend to stay longer than 60 days. That can be obtained by family, friends or employees sponsoring your visa.



    3) Housing cost vary depending on how and where you want to live. There are new developments in Saigon that rival costs in Orange County, California. Then again, the houses get cheaper as you get further away from the foreigners living there.



    4) As an expat and American, you will find job availability to be pretty good with pay comparable to U.S. wages. You will feel like a millionaire, because the very low cost of living there.



    5) Best thing: The people

    Worst thing: Trash being dumped directly into the Red and Saigon rivers.



    I would look into teaching English if you want an easy way to get a job there. You will be a valuable resource for import/export companies being an American and your husband being Viet Kieu. I would look at such companies for more serious cash.



    Most important is to enjoy yourself and the people. The Vietnamese I met during my previous trips are the nicest people I have ever met, and you will make many friends there.



    Good luck to you two!



    Chao CoQuestions about moving from America to Vietnam?
    It doesn't cost for a house in vn. My grandfather was able to build a very decent house for only $5000.I don't really know much about the employment thing. Good Luck.
    Have fun, write if you get work.

    If a sibling does not follow their deceased father's wishes, can a lawyer help?

    Its a little sticky. My sister's fiancee (we'll call him N)'s father died in 2006, his grandparents came in charge of all of N's fathers assets. It was decided everything would be split between N and L, N's only sister. N's father had a few very nice collections of Beatles collectables and other antiques that were sold and split accordingly. N's father also had a fairly nice home that was paid off and was to be sold and profits split also. The furniture and items inside were split between the siblings.

    L asked if she could move into her father's house instead of selling it. It was decided that she could do this as long as she immediately put her own fairly nice home on the market so that money could be split. Instead of doing this L allowed an aquaintance to move into her home and rent it with an option to buy. N was supposed to get 1/2 of all rent until this happened. It never did, and L always had an excuse. Recently the aquaintance was supposed to buy the home, but her father never gave her money she was expecting for down payment so she backed out of the deal this last week.



    N has come upon hard times due to the economy and really could use some money to stay afloat while he looks for a job. Also, my sister and N are planning on getting married next May and it could help with their very modest wedding costs.

    N spoke with L this week about refinancing his father's home so he could get his share. She agreed. It was later found out that she took the refinance money and paid off her home for which she is looking for another renter. More excuses have followed as to why the money was not used to pay off N.

    My sister and N have been struggling and my family has taken them in when they had no home due to the struggling economy. My step father loaned them money which is supposed to be repaid by N's portion of the house proceeds.

    L has been playing these games since 2006 when her father died. My sister and N are convinced that a lawyer will turn them away because of how long this has been going on but I'm not so sure. Any suggestions on whether they have a case would be appreciated.If a sibling does not follow their deceased father's wishes, can a lawyer help?
    You would want to consult with an attorney.



    The bottom line is whoever the executor of the will is, they owe N half the value of the fathers home. It doesn't matter where they gets the money, or who's house sells or anything else. He is entitled to that money.



    The money for the rent on the house that was supposed to be split is a separate thing all together. If nothing was in writing, then there is little N could do about getting that money.



    The equity in the home was to be split after sale. L can buy out N's share of the home and own the house outright if she likes, but N has money coming to him as a result of the will and the equity in the house. How did she refinance the house without him having to sign on the paperwork? And if she spend the proceeds that were supposed to go to him to paying off her house, then one would think that he has a stake in that house as well.



    He needs to see an attorney. The attorney can force specific performance on L to pay N the money owed to him as of 2006, minus his take.



    This is bordering on theft, and a crime. You need to contact and Attorney. Worst case, they turn down the case at no cost to you. Best Case, they get the money out of her for N. It seems like a logical decision to begin with.If a sibling does not follow their deceased father's wishes, can a lawyer help?
    He needs a lawyer. The time lapse means nothing.



    The first facts I'd want to know is how Title is presently held, and if it is still in the Deceased's name, who appears to have power to convey.



    Without knowing that, no one knows anything.



    I'm guessing it was never Probated. I would have expected you'd mention that if it was. You're going to have to go through Probate. You'll never sell it or do anything else with it otherwise.



    You want an attorney who does Probate work. If it's not in Probate, you need one that can do it, if it is, you want a different one to keep an eye on the first one, since it appears to be dragging on for entirely too long.
    N should contact a lawyer right away. The longer L is allowed to play her game, the harder it will be for him to get his share of their father's estate.



    L should be liable for 1/2 the rent she collected over time, plus 1/2 the refinance money.



    Most lawyers do not charge for first consultation, so N could find out what his options are.

    Why is our new home giving me anxiety attacks?

    My husband %26amp; I just bought our first home 3 months ago. We looked at about 100 houses over a 2 year span. We either couldn't agree on a house, the location, or it was just too much money. Finally this year we found our home. It is in a nice area and in a desireable location. We even got it way below the appraised value due to the economy. I LOVED the house when I first saw it and was so happy when our offer was accepted. But, the first week after we moved in......things changed. I started having severe anxiety attacks which were so bad I had to be taken to the emergency room. I have noticed things wrong with the house that I didn't even think about when we first saw it. I am a perfectionist and I do not know why or how I couldn't of possibly seen all the things that needed to be done to this house before we bought it. My parents don't really like the house and that is just adding to my anxiety. I know what they think shouldn't matter but, for some strange reason it does? My husband is such a wonderful person! He likes this house but, he says we have to live here for 5 years and if I still don't like it, we then can move. I do know there is no such thing as the perfect house. And, this all comes along with owning a home. But, I just cannot understand why this house and all of it's flaws are making me so sick? Has anyone been in this situation? Will I get used to this house and will it eventually feel like home?Why is our new home giving me anxiety attacks?
    its not your new home actually maybe its a safety issue? Do you feel safe in your new home with all its flaws.Fixing the flaws might ease your anxiety cause fixing things will keep your mind occupied eventually your anxiety attacks may subside. don't lose hope you will feel better.Why is our new home giving me anxiety attacks?
    just wanted to say that i've never been in that particular situation, but a similar one. i started having panic attacks one day (out of nowhere, it seemed) when i was driving. and when my 2 sisters bought new houses, i had them in their new houses. there was a point where i truly felt horrible everywhere except my own house. i pressed on though, and they eventually went away. now i only have a panic attack or two when i am driving (and usually only in a very busy intersection... yes, it totally sucks, panic attacks are horrible.) it has taken me more than 7 years (without psych meds) to get to an almost normal functioning level again. however, there are places i absolutely avoid (elevators in skyscrapers, etc.) i have benzodiazepines (xanax etc) for emergencies but i almost never use them. but i can sympathize with your situation and from my point i can understand it. i would tell you to just press on and try to make the best of it. if i can ';get over'; something like this, i bet anyone can. perhaps your home will eventually feel ';homey'; to you. if not, really... don't feel bad about going and finding a good, smart, sympathetic anxiety specialist.
    You may be having a bad case of buyer's remorse. Many people experience doubt and fear after making a major purchase, though your symptoms are pretty extreme.



    You invested a lot of time house hunting, your expectations were too high, now they are colliding with reality, you may have concerns about paying your mortgage related to the economic crisis, and this is collectively overwhelming you.



    Try to focus on the positive. What do you like about the house? What are your plans for the future there? Do you want to have children there? Look at the house as a place to live, rather than as an investment or a ';museum piece'; that must be kept perfect, and you may start to feel better. It just isn't worth working yourself up over.

    I live in a manufactured home that I do not want to live in anymore. How do I go into foreclosure?

    My interest rate is 17.5% and my mortgage payment and lot rent is so hard to keep up with. I have never been 30 days late. But I don't want the house anymore and really don't care about my credit either. Does anyone know what will happen if I just stop making the payments and let the house go into foreclosure? If my husband and I both have jobs paying us under the table, will they be able to garnish our wages still? Any advice would help. Like I said i don't want the house, it depreciates it value, and I owe about $30,000 more than it is actually worth, so there is no sense in selling it or refinancing because no one will buy something that isn't worh the money they have to pay for it.I live in a manufactured home that I do not want to live in anymore. How do I go into foreclosure?
    Rent it out %26amp; go live/rent somewhere else....at least that way you're not living there...the house is paying for itself while someone else pays to live there.



    Nothing is lost, you're credit is will be ok %26amp; you'll be happy living somewhere else.I live in a manufactured home that I do not want to live in anymore. How do I go into foreclosure?
    You need to care about your credit, otherwise you won't be able to purchase a car or another house.



    If you don't want your home, sell it. Why go into foreclosure over something someone would buy.



    If the bank forecloses your home, it will auction it off. You'll still have to pay the difference to the bank. For example, let's say the house is worth $30,000. It sells at an auction for only $20,000. You'll still be responsible for the remaining $10,000.



    My best advice is to find a GOOD Realtor to help you sell it.
    I hope you are thinking of all your options with this. Where will you live if you let the bank forclose? You know that you wont be able to get another loan for a very long time! And you are still going to owe your bank money after they forclose and auction your home. It would be in your best interest to try and sell the house or talk to the bank about you situation. I dont think you realize it's not as easy as letting the bank take it back and walking away. They will try and sale or auction the property and you will be responsible for whatever portion is left after that.
    Quit paying the mortgage, live rent free for 4 mos. until they come to evict you. That would be a forcible foreclosure. Or you can just turnover the keys to the house, at the bank and say todeloo! that would be a voluntary repossession.



    They both look bad but the voluntary repo looks better for your future credit.
    You should get your tubes tied, and your husband should get a vasectomy. That way you can not pollute the earth with your seed.



    We do not need any more dishonest or stupid people on the planet.



    Seriously, you are asking how to get defraud the loan company, while you are cheating society by not paying taxes. In America, we call people like you criminals.



    If that is not your intention, then call the mortgage company and ask for a workout to get you out of the property loan. This is a friendly version of a foreclosure.



    Many companies will pay you a small amount to move immediately if you let an inspection company come in before and after the move. (This is to assure that the property is not already destroyed, and you do not destroy the property when leaving.)
  • dog
  • wedding hair styles
  • How do i Buy a car from Craiglist, and a private seller?

    i saw a car on craiglist i want to buy asap, but i have no idea how to go about with it, it will be my first car, purchase, etc. Do i drive the car home without plates? what exactly do i do, i live in an apartment and dont have a garage, i have the money in hand do i just give it to the person sign the title and just drive home with no plates?How do i Buy a car from Craiglist, and a private seller?
    I suggest you to search for the car model/make from http://www.automotive-online.com, you will get the list of suppliers for that model along with contact details of the suppliers contact them in person. It would be safe and easy to do.How do i Buy a car from Craiglist, and a private seller?
    sure.............. and while your at it. How do you protect yourself. Never pay in cash. Get recipet. Have it checked out first. Your setting your self up for a disater here.

    Buying a condo - home inspection?

    We recently signed a contract to purchase a condo in NJ. After the home inspection the inspector report says ';the centralized air conditioner is at its life expectancy, could not be tested due to outside weather temps';.Seller says it worked well last summer. Our attorney asked the sellers attorney if we cud have an escrow with 5K in there, which will be released once testing is done - they said NO. Then we suggested the warranty for a yr for $390 to be split by seller..they said NO. Now we r really suspicious and feel the ac doesnt work. If it works y wud u be not willing to budge at all? I am very close to saying we dont want the home since we will be broke soon after closing and will have no money to get a new system (around 5K; if god forbid it doesn't work). Any body has any other suggestions i can make to the seller (maybe an affidavit?). My husband thinks the home appraises for more than 10K on the price we will let is slide. How accurate is the bank appraisal?Buying a condo - home inspection?
    The bank appraisal is usually dead on and in all due respect to your husband, if a trained professional doesn't think it's worth more, then it's not.



    Stick to your guns and listen to the experts that you hire.



    I would ask them to escrow for the replacement or no deal...trust me, they'll do it. They'll get a refund for what is left over after the replacement.



    In this market, sellers are begging for a buyer.



    Trust your instincts....they are very, very good.



    PS: Don't do a home warranty....there are more strings attached in a home warranty that a pair of pantyhose run through a barbed wire fence and very frequently, those companies will find a way not to pay you.



    They are good for a reassurance, but DO NOT rely on it to fix you AC.Buying a condo - home inspection?
    walk away from the unit, better places out there than buying a 25 year old air conditioner. that will necessitate replacing the outside and inside unit due to the new Ozone Protection laws on freon.



    But in all fairness, I have sold a unit last year that when they tested the NEW heat pump for cold air, it was too cold outside to work?? never did understand that one, but you have the same thing, but your's is OLD%26gt;



    If you still want this unit call a Heating and Air cond guy to look it over.
    The bank is interested i two things:

    1] For the money we are about to commit to lening ror this property, is the property worth that money?



    2] Does the Buyer earn enough money to consistently pay the monthly or twice monthly payment?



    The appraisal of the property is approached by a few methods:

    1] Other properties in the area having comparable sales within a specified peiod of time.



    2] In the event of a fire or other insurable reason, how much will it cost per sq. ft. to correct the damage and do the rehab or reconstruction of the proeprty.



    3] What is the total cost of reconstruction per sq. ft.



    There may be other methods used.



    The bank is only interested in protecting its interest in the property.



    In real estate there are two very old expressions:

    1] You [the Buyer] names the price.

    They [the Seller] names the terms.



    You [the Buyer] names the terms.

    They [the Seller] names the price.



    Somewhere in the middle there might be an agreement on price and terms.



    2] A property - any property - is ONLY worth what the Buyer is willing to pay for it AND what the Seller is willing to sell it for - not one dollar more or less!



    AND, when financing is involved, what the lender will appraise the property for and lend money for the mortgage.



    THE ONLY way you're going to find out what the Seller's bottom line is, is to make a written offer on the property.



    By the way: DON鈥橳 EVEN TRY naming the price AND the terms. it a toytal waste of time and very frustrating and aggravating.



    Thanks for asking your Q! I enjoyed answering it!



    VTY,

    Ron Berue

    Yes, that is my real last name!

    I'm considering getting eloped at the town hall and then having a ';real'; wedding in the future... thoughts?

    Hi guys...





    I know some people are going to have mixed opinions of this. I have to admit, I sort of look down upon it. For instance, one of my fiance's guy friends did this- he married his now wife at the town hall, mainly to get her health insurance, and only because she didn't WANT to look for a job for herself! They didn't even have wedding rings. Now they are having this big, elaborate ';wedding'; that her parents are paying for a year later... I really didn't ever want to do anything like that. But here's MY situation:





    My boyfriend and I have lived together for 3 years and have been wanting to get married, but don't have a big budget for the ';nice wedding'; we want. We have saved cash, and only probably want a small wedding (50-75) because we don't have big families. Also, we are at the point where we are trying to buy a home, so we can stop wasting money on an apartment. My boyfriend currently has one year left of college and he is also in the military reserves, most likely being sent back on his 2nd deployment towards the middle/end of this year. I am currently applying to a 3 years masters degree program in nursing FNP (YAY!) program, which will start about a year from now, when he graduates from college.





    1) For that 3 year masters program I am REQUIRED by my school to have health insurance, if I don't, I have to buy it from the school for an extra $3-5000 a year! I will not be able to work during that time because of the intensity of the program, so that means no health insurance unless we are married... which means a much added expense.





    2) My boyfriend is in the military and may be deployed again soon. It would be easier for us to be married so that I could handle his assets (our apartment, bills, car loans, etc...) while he is away.





    3) We would get more money as a married couple in the military (in other words, we have been missing out on several thousand dollars extra each year just living together and not being married). The extra money could help us out tremendously.





    4) Also, I am currently working part-time 30-40 hours per week and taking classes part time for pre-reqs for my masters degree. However, I don't have insurance through my job, and can't really find another one to work around my school schedule. So basically, I am buying my own insurance from a very expensive company that doesn't really get me anything! grrrr..... If we got married now, it would mean I could get insurance through him, save me several hundreds of dollars a month, AND actually be able to USE my insurance to go to drs appointments, etc if needed...





    Basically, between the cost of finding a home, an engagement ring, etc... we don't want to have to take out a loan to pay for a wedding quite yet. We probably could afford it by then end of this year or early next year, but I want to be married before I enter my masters degree program, because once those 3 years start, I won't have time to focus on anything else. I was thinking of just getting married at the town hall soon, and then having a ';real wedding'; within the next 1-2 years with a ceremony, reception, etc. on our own time, with plenty of time to plan and save $. It is not how I dreamed of it, but it would take a lot of stress off of us if we could just have the legal benefits of marriage. I know, I know, you are going to say the ';wedding'; doesn't matter to the ';marriage'; and I agree.. But I do know that my mom had a ';no cost'; wedding, and she always wishes she could have had the experience, memories, and photos to look back upon....





    I'm torn on what to do...I'm considering getting eloped at the town hall and then having a ';real'; wedding in the future... thoughts?
    I hate to sound like a grinch, but this just doesn't work. I totally get the logic on why you want to be married now, but the truth is simple: a married woman can't get married and have a wedding with all the trappings. I don't think this applies in your case, but in general people are losing focus on what a wedding is all about. It's pledging, in front of family and friends, to commit your life and heart to another person. A re-enactment of this is just cheesy.





    What you need to decide is which is more important: the benefits you get from being married soon vs your wish for a nice wedding. If you end up getting married now, you can always throw an anniversary party, but it isn't a wedding re-do and has none of the trappings of a wedding.





    Also, for what it's worth, this isn't a matter of opinion. Wedding etiquette is very clearcut on this issue.I'm considering getting eloped at the town hall and then having a ';real'; wedding in the future... thoughts?
    So, go and get married now and in a couple of years, have a wonderful anniversary party and do the cake, toast, dance and pictures then to celebrate your marriage!! Best wishes!!
    Go for it!





    Lots of couples have vow renewals later in thier marriage and that is most acceptable. What you are doing is just an earlier version of that!





    In fact, (History degree mode), in Medieval times, couples would often elope to marry in secret, just the two of them ';I take you to be my wife, do you take me?'; Then tell the priest who'd bless them in the church doorway. Maybe even throw a party!


    These marriages were accepted as legitimate, but often led to trouble. Confusion over betrothals, sex before the marriage but AFTER the betrothal (some people said this ';consumated'; the betrothal and made you married, others dissagreed)...it all got messy so that's why we have witnesses and paperwork these days!





    What you plan is actually more traditional than you'd think!
    The reasons your outline for getting married now are reasonable. I would suggest have the elopement now, maybe invite your parents. Take pictures and all that.





    Then later have a wedding vow renewal. You can make it as elaborate as you want. Have the big wedding you always dreamed of. Make the vow renewal on your anniversary. Buy the dress the ring, throw a huge party. At that point you are not only celebrating your marriage but also the fact that several years into your marriage you two are still so much in love that you want to share it with the world by renewing your vows.
    Honestly? From a bride-to-be (wedding in July 2010). Wait until you can have the day you want. You will always regret it.





    My fiance and I have had a long engagement so that we could have the wedding we wanted. Having said that, we aren't having anything too elaborate. But, we are having exactly what we want. A lovely ceremony followed by a catered meal in our backyard. It doesn't matter what your bridal dreams are, as long as they are realized.





    My fiance and I said a few times that we should elope or go to the registry office and get it done. But both of us are soooooo glad we waited. This way we can have the celebration and the memory that we have always wanted.





    You don't want to look back and regret not having that special day in your life.
    Follow your heart...
    Health insurance in the US is f* up. You have very good reasons to get married now.





    However, I still think wedding do-overs are tasteless and pathetic, no matter what the reason. Do you really want to walk down the aisle when you are already married? Kind of takes something away from the moment, dont you think? And honestly, your guests wont find anything special about it either.





    Have your wedding now. Just change your idea of your perfect wedding. Listen, almost NO ONE gets their perfect wedding! Adults have real responsibilities, and that means making priorities and not crying about it.





    Cut your guest list. Have your wedding mid-day with cake and champagne in a garden. Have an evening wedding followed by a dinner in a private room at your favorite restaurant. Be creative, there are lots of ways to have a beautiful wedding on a budget.
    Get married now, which would be your ';real'; wedding and then have a ';vow renewal'; reception later. In my opinion, it's not right to get married and then a couple years down the line have a ';wedding'; for the sake of having the big party that you always dreamed of, and treat it as your wedding. Call it what it is, a party, no bridal party, no princess dress, no gifts, no shower, etc.
    I'm in your same situation (about your fiance deploying) and have given this A LOT of thought. I think what we will end up doing is going to town hall by ourselves and get the legal portion of it taken care of before he leaves in the event something does happen. We would of course tell our parents and maybe our closest friends, but other than no one would know. And then, when he gets back next year, we will have a wedding with EVERYONE. I wanted to have it this year, but we don't know when he's leaving. But, like I said, we're still thinking about wether or not that's what we want to do. Good luck to you!
    I don't mean to sound harsh or anything, but getting married at the town hall for legal reasons will be your ';real'; wedding. Just because it's not a big ceremony and reception with all the trimmings doesn't mean it's not a ';real'; wedding. I really don't understand the idea of getting married and then having a re-do wedding a year later. What would be the point? You will already be married for like a year or two. I understand having a vow renewal after like 10 years. But it would be just weird to pretend to be a bride, wear a gown, walk down the aisle and everything after you are already married. I'm sorry about your situation, but why can't you just get married now and that's it? Isn't the most important thing being married? Do you really need the big ceremony and reception? It won't make you any more married. I suggest you have a small town hall wedding, and go to a nice restaurant or have a nice dinner at home with close family to celebrate, you wedding will be what you make it.