I had posted a question about my in-laws living with us, and how I didn't like it, and if I should be wrong. Which obviously most of you agreed with me. I also had a miscarriage last week on the 31st.
Its been a week since the miscarriage(I'm still hurting) it was my 1st pregnancy with my hubby. Its been a lil over a month since my in-laws moved in with us. I know that they are going to be with us for up to a year, until we build our own home. So, I know that theres nothing I can do about it.
But yet I can't seem to be happy, I seriously can't seem to smile, I'm just with an angry face one minute, the next I'm ';okay'; I just have so much anger at everyone for making this decision to have my in-laws with their 3 kids! to move in with us, when I didn't want to! I told my parents, and my hubby that no I did not want that to happen. But everyone else was so happy already :(
I'm angry at my husband for not thinking about me, he was just so happy that we were finally able to buy a house(that was the whole plan to buy it with his parents and us) I mean I'm so sure that it never crossed his mind and asked himself ';would my wife be happy coming home to find my mom, and brothers and sister?'; when I see that its 4 pm I start getting moody, I mean its like i have no home, its like I feel like we're not buying the house, we're just buying our room, since my in-laws added their couches to our living room(my hubby and I lived there first), and well the whole kitchen is like my mother-in-law.
I mean what can I do to look at the bright side? Seriously, I bought 2 books to kill time, but its not the same. I know I'm giving my husband a hard time about it, but I just feel like he should have thought about me, instead of getting all happy that we were going to buy not rent. I had no hurry to buy a home, especially with the economy how it is, besides we had already opened a savings account, I was and am taking money out of my check to transfer to my savings account. I thought that we would buy a home in like 2 years, on our OWN, not with his family. Now i'm stuck, literally for like a year! Please someone give me some good advice, of what I can do to be positive? No smart remarks please.
Oh and we've only been married for one year and 2 months, but living on our own for 2 years! We're both young in our early 20's so its not like we were old, and it was time to buy a home.I know theres advantages of buying, but was it really good to buy it with his family??I know I should get over it, but I can't, and I know I'm giving everyone a hard time, what can I do?
I'm 20, and my husband is 27, and when we first got married, we lived with my husband's grandparents until we saved money to move out. It was the most horrible experience ever. I HATED living there. Not to mention, at the time, my daughter was 2....and his grandparents are mega boring...so I just sat in a bedroom with my 2 year old all day. I tried to leave as often as I could. I didn't have anything in common with his grandparents, and they just talked about my husband's ex g/f and how great she is and they have her pictures hanging around their house. If I had to do that again, there's absolutely NO WAY I would ever live with his family....and I don't know how I did it. I also has a miscarriage twice. We've only been married for a little over a year too. And my husband's mom said that she would buy us a house if she could live there too. NOOOOOO WAAAAAY. Like you said...you guys aren't old...you have your own life to live...not with in-laws! I'd take my apartment any day over a house with someone else living there! And when you live with other people, you really realize how much privacy you lose....feel like you need to put on pants to go to the bathroom at night...can't walk around naked if you feel like it lol...it sucksI know I should get over it, but I can't, and I know I'm giving everyone a hard time, what can I do?
First, I'm very sorry for your loss. I know how difficult miscarriage can be emotionally. Just from reading your post, it was NOT a good thing to buy a home with his family. Marriage is tough enough when there are just two people involved in making household decisions!
Your husband should have thought of your feelings, but he was probably so excited at the thought of homeownership, and probably thought he was doing the right thing by you. Okay...so he didn't. You need to try to accept that you're in this situation for the next year. There *IS* a light at the end of the tunnel! I would suggest that you avoid starting a family while you're still with your in-laws. Pregnancy is physically and emotionally draining, and you have enough on your plate right now.
Try talking to your husband again. Calmly explain that YOU have some needs that aren't being met. Maybe you two can come up with a plan to present to his family that would allow for evenings when you and hubby can have the house to yourselves. On the flip-side, it will give you and your husband opportunities for more ';date nights.';
I wish I had more to offer, but I do wish you the best of luck.
You should see a doctor. Sounds like a hormone imbalance related to your miscarriage. You can't be mentally happy if your body isn't balanced.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Unhappy in a good relationship but I don't know why?
I'll try to add a lot of detail here since this is very important to me. I'm 30 years old. I got married at 18 (mistake) and had a kid with that ex-wife. We were just too young and it lasted a few years. She has really changed and I have had full custody of my son (10) for over 5 years. In November 2003 I remarried and had a great relationship, so I thought. On October 10, 2007 my wife and I had a little girl, yet my wife never bonded with her. We still had a great relationship to despite this lack of bonding, until one night when my daughter was just 4 months old, my wife came home and told me she was having sex with a co-worker and she was moving in with him that night. She signed over custody of her at the time 4 month old daughter. I handled it well as could be expected and emerged from divorce with enough money to buy a new car in cash and I bought a nice home in cash as well. I remodeled everything and bought some extra toys too. Plasma Wall TV, big stereo, Mustang for the weekend, new boat, etc....all paid with cash. But the one thing I couldn't do was cure my loneliness. My son is mature for his age and he took my now ex's departure terrific. That was basically his mom that walked out too, but yet he adjusted within 48 hours and he is such a good and happy kid. I told him 2 1/2 years ago that I was thinking about dating again. I told him I could find the right one right away. I told him it might take 10 or so people before finding the right one. I told him I could finally find the right one, only to be cheated on again 6 years down the road again. He said he doesn't need a mom since he's never depended on one but he thinks I should bring up my daughter in a more family atmosphere. So I dated a few people and had some more serious relationships with people that turned into me getting hurt over and over. Most of them were young, out to use me, and selfish. I convinced myself that I myself seemed happier without realizing it, when I wasn't with someone. I had my kids, my toys, my house, my life, all to myself. I was a single dad that worked from home but still had time to enjoy things with my kids and have ';some'; alone time. About that time came a girl that I was not expecting to meet. She was more my age and she accepted my two children as she has two of her own. She warned me that she had a big guard as she was cheated on too. So I tried not to get so emotionally attached to her until one night, she asked me on a scale of 1-10 how into her I was. She told me she was at an 8, when I thought she was at a 2. Then that 8 turned into a full blown 10 really quick. I opened up myself even more and got to that 10 number myself, so I thought. Next thing, she lost her job and her parents have a 720 sq ft house and no room and she had nowhere to go. She was hearing wedding bells and was talking about everything that I wanted and that I used to have and this was (is) my chance to have it all again. So she started boxing things up and I started to move around bedrooms and repaint rooms. But that is when I realized that this was really serious. No more time to myself. No more being a bachelor. I always wanted to live the family life but Ive been burned so many times on it. So I finally am with someone that I'm confident won't cheat on me. She definitely shows that she loves me. Yet, there are just stupid little things that occasionally bug me about her. The big problem is that now that she is here, and is living here, I am trying to be happy about it. There are times that I am happy with it but there are times, quite a few, that I'm not happy about being in a relationship anymore. I feel with all the rushing that happened, I may not be in love with her anymore. On the days or moments that I feel like I've made the wrong decision, I am just extremely quiet. I feel depressed, stressed, miserable at times. But she hasn't done anything wrong to make me feel bad at all. She's a good person and hasn't done anything wrong to me and I'm a good guy that doesn't want to do anything wrong to her or her kids or my kids, but here I am, stuck in this situation. PLEASE HELP!!Unhappy in a good relationship but I don't know why?
Wow, that was long =]
Hmm, I'm going to try and offer my opinion. Do you think maybe the only reason you are feeling like this is because it's not JUST you now? You can't do what you want, when you want anymore. It seems you were head over heels in love with this girl until the actuality of the relationship set in. When she moved in, it seemed to show you how serious the relationship was getting. Are you not ready to have a serious relationship? If not, why? Is it because of your past, or do you not like having to deal with the things that come with a serious relationship? Like, having someone live with you, always running things by them to make sure its okay.. that sort of thing.
If the problem is not her.. then it has to be you. If she is this great girl and nothing is wrong..then something in you is not liking it. Just take time and figure out what it is. I would say that ';you cant make yourself love someone or make it feel right'; but you loved her until she moved in and realized it was getting really serious. Thats just my opinion.. but i hope everything works out for you
Wow, that was long =]
Hmm, I'm going to try and offer my opinion. Do you think maybe the only reason you are feeling like this is because it's not JUST you now? You can't do what you want, when you want anymore. It seems you were head over heels in love with this girl until the actuality of the relationship set in. When she moved in, it seemed to show you how serious the relationship was getting. Are you not ready to have a serious relationship? If not, why? Is it because of your past, or do you not like having to deal with the things that come with a serious relationship? Like, having someone live with you, always running things by them to make sure its okay.. that sort of thing.
If the problem is not her.. then it has to be you. If she is this great girl and nothing is wrong..then something in you is not liking it. Just take time and figure out what it is. I would say that ';you cant make yourself love someone or make it feel right'; but you loved her until she moved in and realized it was getting really serious. Thats just my opinion.. but i hope everything works out for you
Whose fault is the economic crisis anyway?
So let’s look at how we got here:
ILLUSIONS
Big part of what makes the American Dream is hope. However unrealistic, uneducated, and misinformed choices replace hope with illusions.
Buyers had the illusion that homes would always keep increasing rapidly in value. However, they failed to understand that the real estate market has cycles. Some of the factors that create a change in the market are increased amounts of supply or demand, deregulation of the financial industry, easy and available credit, low interest rates and much more.
People who bought homes they could not afford did it because they saw an opportunity to “invest” their life savings and achieve the American dream. They viewed this opportunity as attainable because banks made it possible, unscrupulous agents/brokers made them believe it was possible, and because they lacked the knowledge necessary to understand the responsibilities, risks and benefits of owning a home.
Other illusions buyers had was their wages. The had the illusion that their wages would go up enough year after year to cover their ever increasing debt due to a lavish life style. This illusion, the lack of financial education and self-control allowed for people to live well beyond their means.
Today people, banks, and our government are drowning in debt.
CREDIT
Competition in the market forces business to improve on their products and allows the consumer to purchase those products at affordable prices. However, competition between banks in a booming economy and low interest rates created a credit bonanza.
Instead of banks improving on their products and services, they began utilizing creative financial tools to attract more borrowers. They also lend money to risky borrowers with little regard of their qualifications. Anybody that had a pulse could literally get a loan.
Banks can’t accommodate the demand for credit only with their money reserves. So if they want to lend more money, they sell these mortgages to commercial banks and Wall Street lenders.
Financial Crisis: Who's Fault Is It, Anyway?
Doesn't matter.
Because just about everyone is to blame.
Republicans opened the door through debt-based credit derivatives and deregulation. Democrats further contributed by turning a blind eye to Fannie and Freddie and insisting that even those who couldn't really afford mortgages be allowed to get them. The Bush Administration touted consumer spending as a means to boost the economy, and encouraged reckless consumer behaviors with billions in ';stimulus';money, all while fueling the national debt through a disastrous war and tax cuts for people who don't really need them.
And, of course, greedy banks and mortgage lenders went along, doing their best to bilk whoever came through door for whatever they could get -- before passing the risk on to equally greedy investment banks and hedge fund managers. Consumers came along for the ride, abandoning reasonable financial practices and using credit to fuel materialism -- as well as making poor decisions by buying homes they couldn't afford with ';creative'; mortgage financing.
Nearly everyone shares some of the blame. This is not the time to bicker over who is most at fault. It doesn't matter. The past is past. It's time to move forward and fix the problem. REALLY fix the problem. With practical solutions (that's right, follow the link for just one alternative -- and better IMO -- solution) that don't involve throwing a large, arbitrary amount of money at the problem.
This is something that requires measured thought. And a change in how our society now views debt, money and the economy. There's no reason to rush into a bailout plan right now. Instead, a little more analysis is needed.
Whose fault is the economic crisis anyway?
I believe you forgot to give credit where credit is due to the Democrats you have sitting in congress, they have a great deal to do with the financial crisis as well. Whose fault is the economic crisis anyway?
This is the real answer simply put:
Inserting socialist programs into a capitalist system.
the CRA, inflation, and a fiat money system
while people took credit they couldn't afford (poor behavior no doubt), the credit was artificial and would not have existed if it wasn't created by the Fed.
The globalists who are destroying western civilization.
financial institutions
speculators
special interest groups with political influence
politicians with ties to influential special interest group
we are part of the problem, we are addicted to credit cards
It started with Reagan lifting tariffs that use to protect our industrial might. Clinton signing the Republican NAFTA agreement did not help. But the real mistake was listening to GreenSpan. He had this great idea to give everybody credit even if they cannot afford it which is good for interest business but now the outsourcing is catching up to us and we don`t have the wages to pay off anything so we stop buying.
Pelosi has targeted you for death....
You have figured it out, she has sent a squad after you. You are hereby sentenced to death by styfling suffocation under barney franks enormous A$$.
Right, blame everyone. One thing is clear -- we have been lacking decent, responsible leadership for years and we are about to get a much better president in January. I hope Obama and Congress will be able to address the mess that has been made by the previous administration because we need to have various problems addressed sooner rather than later.
It's very complex and many mistakes have been made by government as well as the mortgage industry but the one factor that stands out above all is the desire of people to ';keep up with the Jones';. Without this factor none of this would have happened but how can you expect people to live within their means when you dangle enticing offers and gee whiz electronics in front of them and give them lines of credit that they should never really have had? It's like the story of the Garden of Eden, Eve and the forbidden fruit that Satan made so enticing.
Here is an extremely good article that puts a good handle on what has happened over the years. It's pretty long, but a definite must read.
Barney Frank for pushing Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae to hand out subprime loans. Chris Dodd, Obama, and others for taking tens of millions (Obama placed second at 90 Million dollars) of dollars from Freddie. The dems milked Fannie and Freddie. They also ran congress.
When people couldn't pay off their loans, the money dried up. Banks didn't want to lend other banks money. Without the flow of money between banks, our economy ground almost to a halt.
Then you have Obama, who flippantly says he will tax the bejesus out of us. So investors are withdrawing from the stockmarket in hordes, shocking the economy.
Obama is very involved with screwing up our economy already. He's not even the president yet.
The greedy american who bit off more then they can chew!
http://www.factcheck.org/elections-2008/…
ILLUSIONS
Big part of what makes the American Dream is hope. However unrealistic, uneducated, and misinformed choices replace hope with illusions.
Buyers had the illusion that homes would always keep increasing rapidly in value. However, they failed to understand that the real estate market has cycles. Some of the factors that create a change in the market are increased amounts of supply or demand, deregulation of the financial industry, easy and available credit, low interest rates and much more.
People who bought homes they could not afford did it because they saw an opportunity to “invest” their life savings and achieve the American dream. They viewed this opportunity as attainable because banks made it possible, unscrupulous agents/brokers made them believe it was possible, and because they lacked the knowledge necessary to understand the responsibilities, risks and benefits of owning a home.
Other illusions buyers had was their wages. The had the illusion that their wages would go up enough year after year to cover their ever increasing debt due to a lavish life style. This illusion, the lack of financial education and self-control allowed for people to live well beyond their means.
Today people, banks, and our government are drowning in debt.
CREDIT
Competition in the market forces business to improve on their products and allows the consumer to purchase those products at affordable prices. However, competition between banks in a booming economy and low interest rates created a credit bonanza.
Instead of banks improving on their products and services, they began utilizing creative financial tools to attract more borrowers. They also lend money to risky borrowers with little regard of their qualifications. Anybody that had a pulse could literally get a loan.
Banks can’t accommodate the demand for credit only with their money reserves. So if they want to lend more money, they sell these mortgages to commercial banks and Wall Street lenders.
Financial Crisis: Who's Fault Is It, Anyway?
Doesn't matter.
Because just about everyone is to blame.
Republicans opened the door through debt-based credit derivatives and deregulation. Democrats further contributed by turning a blind eye to Fannie and Freddie and insisting that even those who couldn't really afford mortgages be allowed to get them. The Bush Administration touted consumer spending as a means to boost the economy, and encouraged reckless consumer behaviors with billions in ';stimulus';money, all while fueling the national debt through a disastrous war and tax cuts for people who don't really need them.
And, of course, greedy banks and mortgage lenders went along, doing their best to bilk whoever came through door for whatever they could get -- before passing the risk on to equally greedy investment banks and hedge fund managers. Consumers came along for the ride, abandoning reasonable financial practices and using credit to fuel materialism -- as well as making poor decisions by buying homes they couldn't afford with ';creative'; mortgage financing.
Nearly everyone shares some of the blame. This is not the time to bicker over who is most at fault. It doesn't matter. The past is past. It's time to move forward and fix the problem. REALLY fix the problem. With practical solutions (that's right, follow the link for just one alternative -- and better IMO -- solution) that don't involve throwing a large, arbitrary amount of money at the problem.
This is something that requires measured thought. And a change in how our society now views debt, money and the economy. There's no reason to rush into a bailout plan right now. Instead, a little more analysis is needed.
Whose fault is the economic crisis anyway?
I believe you forgot to give credit where credit is due to the Democrats you have sitting in congress, they have a great deal to do with the financial crisis as well. Whose fault is the economic crisis anyway?
This is the real answer simply put:
Inserting socialist programs into a capitalist system.
the CRA, inflation, and a fiat money system
while people took credit they couldn't afford (poor behavior no doubt), the credit was artificial and would not have existed if it wasn't created by the Fed.
The globalists who are destroying western civilization.
financial institutions
speculators
special interest groups with political influence
politicians with ties to influential special interest group
we are part of the problem, we are addicted to credit cards
It started with Reagan lifting tariffs that use to protect our industrial might. Clinton signing the Republican NAFTA agreement did not help. But the real mistake was listening to GreenSpan. He had this great idea to give everybody credit even if they cannot afford it which is good for interest business but now the outsourcing is catching up to us and we don`t have the wages to pay off anything so we stop buying.
Pelosi has targeted you for death....
You have figured it out, she has sent a squad after you. You are hereby sentenced to death by styfling suffocation under barney franks enormous A$$.
Right, blame everyone. One thing is clear -- we have been lacking decent, responsible leadership for years and we are about to get a much better president in January. I hope Obama and Congress will be able to address the mess that has been made by the previous administration because we need to have various problems addressed sooner rather than later.
It's very complex and many mistakes have been made by government as well as the mortgage industry but the one factor that stands out above all is the desire of people to ';keep up with the Jones';. Without this factor none of this would have happened but how can you expect people to live within their means when you dangle enticing offers and gee whiz electronics in front of them and give them lines of credit that they should never really have had? It's like the story of the Garden of Eden, Eve and the forbidden fruit that Satan made so enticing.
Here is an extremely good article that puts a good handle on what has happened over the years. It's pretty long, but a definite must read.
Barney Frank for pushing Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae to hand out subprime loans. Chris Dodd, Obama, and others for taking tens of millions (Obama placed second at 90 Million dollars) of dollars from Freddie. The dems milked Fannie and Freddie. They also ran congress.
When people couldn't pay off their loans, the money dried up. Banks didn't want to lend other banks money. Without the flow of money between banks, our economy ground almost to a halt.
Then you have Obama, who flippantly says he will tax the bejesus out of us. So investors are withdrawing from the stockmarket in hordes, shocking the economy.
Obama is very involved with screwing up our economy already. He's not even the president yet.
The greedy american who bit off more then they can chew!
http://www.factcheck.org/elections-2008/…
How can I get full custody and child support, Im a stay home mommy with no money?
I went to his house to get personal things and my baby daddy and his father, brother, and cousin all verbal attacked me and harassed me! With threatening my life, and kicking myself and my daughter out of the home. I have no evidence cause it was just myself and my seven month old daughter. That was yesterday, tonight he called the police on me because I would not answer his phone calls and then he came buy beating on the doors and jiggling the door handles. The reason for this was because I was scared, his brother and cousin and himself smoke pot and drink and now they have legal k2 which is pot, didn't want daughter in that type of environment, its just not safe and I want out of it. He was the financial provider and I took care of the baby and household. So I have no money. Does this make me a unfit mother? Im trying to find a job but no luck with it! Don't know what to do! I'm not allowed over there now so how do I get evidence showing that he is an unfit father? He doesn't want to pay child support, and I want full custody, but so does he what do I do?How can I get full custody and child support, Im a stay home mommy with no money?
You can petition (ask) the court / judge to make him take tests to check the drugs in his system.
Everytime time he harasses you, report it to the cops.
Keep written records.
See link below.
Peace.How can I get full custody and child support, Im a stay home mommy with no money?
You both need to grow up and act as adults who have a baby.. If you both keep up this immaturity it would be likely that you daughter could be taken away from both of you. You seem to put all the blame on your husband,,, I suppose you are perfectly innocent?? Two sides to every story.
simple solution go to your local police station or courthouse, tell them exactly whats happened and get a restraining order. then call ur local welfare office tell them ur situation and ask for help. you have to be proactive. u can also call ur local child support office tell them u need to start collecting support and u need to establish parentage and they will take over and begin the process for free
You are not a unfit Mother if you don't have money for your child , and no judge will take your child away because you don't have money only if you show you don't care for your baby and you mistreat it physically them they can take your child away. Go to your county for help with food stamps for you and the baby and tell them the suitation you are in and they will help and the baby out.,go to family and children's services or health dept and family and children services will help you prove the baby is his or not, and they will make him pay child surport and he won't have a chose. Call the cops each time he comes near you and tell them you need them to help you get away from them , that you are scared for your life and your baby's , they will come ASAP . Get away from these people before someone gets killed or seriously hurt.. . need further advice plz email me.. will be glad to be your friend.
You can petition (ask) the court / judge to make him take tests to check the drugs in his system.
Everytime time he harasses you, report it to the cops.
Keep written records.
See link below.
Peace.How can I get full custody and child support, Im a stay home mommy with no money?
You both need to grow up and act as adults who have a baby.. If you both keep up this immaturity it would be likely that you daughter could be taken away from both of you. You seem to put all the blame on your husband,,, I suppose you are perfectly innocent?? Two sides to every story.
simple solution go to your local police station or courthouse, tell them exactly whats happened and get a restraining order. then call ur local welfare office tell them ur situation and ask for help. you have to be proactive. u can also call ur local child support office tell them u need to start collecting support and u need to establish parentage and they will take over and begin the process for free
You are not a unfit Mother if you don't have money for your child , and no judge will take your child away because you don't have money only if you show you don't care for your baby and you mistreat it physically them they can take your child away. Go to your county for help with food stamps for you and the baby and tell them the suitation you are in and they will help and the baby out.,go to family and children's services or health dept and family and children services will help you prove the baby is his or not, and they will make him pay child surport and he won't have a chose. Call the cops each time he comes near you and tell them you need them to help you get away from them , that you are scared for your life and your baby's , they will come ASAP . Get away from these people before someone gets killed or seriously hurt.. . need further advice plz email me.. will be glad to be your friend.
Please give me your advice, my husband is an irresponsible man?
He told me he'll live with his parents forever and never move out with me and his 2 daughters (2 yr old and 7 mon. old). I brought my girls with me away from that family 14 mons ago. His parents and younger sis always tried to get over us, they still control him and even tried to do the same to me. Not to mention how he treated me, with no respect,mentally abuse and I was neglected. There was no privacy even our bedroom. He gives them money and buy them expensive gifts and he bought the mobile home. I asked him so many times when will he move out and start a family with us. He said ';Why don't you move back here and live with my family. If it wasn't my parents whom brought me to this world and our daughters wouldn't exist. I'll never leave them, even if they're wrong I still listen to them'; 2 wks ago I asked him one last time and he said'; We plan to buy a house so I can't move out, I gotta help them.'; I told him that he's not allowed to visit his daughters anymore. We don't have marriage certificate but I gave him alot of chances to see his children just to wait for him to change his mind and grow up like a real man but now I'm hopeless. When I left his mom told him to break up with me and he did. Found out I was pregnant and he said he doesn't care. His mom said';my son will have to pay for child support to death'; My 1st daughter is turning 2 this wk and he wants to come visit her. What can I do? I plan to returned everything he gave me, cell phone and the credit card he opened for me(he pays for my spent), but I think money can't buy love and happiness. That's y I want him and his family to know I'm not greedy and selfish like them. I'll tell him from now on we'll have no contact, he'll live his life and we'll live our life without a husband and a father. I don't want my daughters to grow up and know how bad their father is. I want them happy. Am I doing the right thing? I know his family trying to keep him bcause of his money.
thank youPlease give me your advice, my husband is an irresponsible man?
sounds like a controlling issue and a lot of men feel their family is the taking care of the aging parents but if I was you and wanted to break out of this oppressive relationship I would get myself a job and move on...they are his daughters but by choosing his parents over then and you he has made his choice...MOVE ON AND Live FREE of this abuse.Please give me your advice, my husband is an irresponsible man?
It sounds like you really have no other choice.
You can't deny a dad access to his kids because you are mad at him.
And you are entitled to child support, but good luck getting any if he is supported by family and not a job.
Keep the money and visitation issues separate, and do what's best for the children. From the sound of it, living away from him, getting child support, and allowing him supervised visits sounds in their best interests.
Move on with your life. Your daughters happiness does depend on your husband it lies on you. Pray get strong and move on.
thank youPlease give me your advice, my husband is an irresponsible man?
sounds like a controlling issue and a lot of men feel their family is the taking care of the aging parents but if I was you and wanted to break out of this oppressive relationship I would get myself a job and move on...they are his daughters but by choosing his parents over then and you he has made his choice...MOVE ON AND Live FREE of this abuse.Please give me your advice, my husband is an irresponsible man?
It sounds like you really have no other choice.
You can't deny a dad access to his kids because you are mad at him.
And you are entitled to child support, but good luck getting any if he is supported by family and not a job.
Keep the money and visitation issues separate, and do what's best for the children. From the sound of it, living away from him, getting child support, and allowing him supervised visits sounds in their best interests.
Move on with your life. Your daughters happiness does depend on your husband it lies on you. Pray get strong and move on.
How do I make candy bars at home?
I LOVE candy that has milk chocolate, peanut butter, and nuts in them. Hersheys milk chocolate with almonds or peanuts, reeeses peanut butter cups, M%26amp;M's, with almonds or peanuts...u get the picture. When it comes to those candies, I am addicted, and impulse control is hard and I don't want to control it. But money does become an issue when I'm spending ten dollars a week strictly on chocolately, nutty candy. I'll eat a candy bar as a snack or for dessert every day...that's seven days a week. Since I don't have that kind of money to spend on buying my favorite candy bars and I don't want to deny myself of them, I figured it would be cheaper to make my own bars. But I have no clue how to start. All I can think of is put some almond slivers into an ice-tray and pour some hershey's chocolate on them, and freeze them. But if I do that, how do I get the candy out in one peice w/or ruining the candy or the ice-tray? I just want to make candy bars for my own consumption. Please help. Thanks.How do I make candy bars at home?
no idea lol u can melt bakers chocolate and try to make it urself by testing out thingsHow do I make candy bars at home?
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/431546/goldwrapped_homemade_christmas_gifts.html
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/433968/homemade_christmas_nobake_delicacies.html
I've developed my own recipe for some awesome ';mock peanut butter cups'; and they are good! I take a few BIG spoonfulls of peanut butter (maybe a cup or so) and a few tablespoons of butter and melt them together in the microwave, then I mix in powdered sugar until it's a thick texture- not too much or they'll break apart when you go to cut them. I spread that into a glass pan and in a seperate bowl I pour some chocolate chips and a splash of heavy whipping cream (maybe a cup of chips and 2 or 3 tablespoons of cream) and I melt that together in the microwave. Try 45 seconds and if you stir and it's not melted go for another 15, stirring after each time, until it's done. spread your chocolate on top and put it in the fridge to firm up, cut into squares and there you have it!
Tht's a pretty ambicoius undertaking but, here you go.
CRUST
8 1/2 oz Milk chocolate chips
8 1/2 oz Peanut butter, creamy
5 oz Corn flakes, crushed lightly
MOUSSE
12 oz Butter
12 oz Confectioner's sugar
2 oz Cocoa powder
5 oz Semisweet chocolate
4 x Pasteurized egg yolks
2 cup Heavy cream
GANACHE
1 oz Sugar
2 cup Heavy cream
20 oz Semisweet chocolate
CRUST: Line a 9 x 13'; cake pan with parchment paper. Melt milk chocolate in a double boiler. Stir peanut butter into melted chocolate. Place crushed corn flakes in a bowl and stir chocolate/peanut butter mixture over them, mixing well.
Spread mixture evenly into prepared pan and cool in refrigerator.
MOUSSE: Melt semisweet chocolate in a double boiler. Cream butter and sugar in a mixer fitted with a paddle, beating until light and fluffy. Add sifted cocoa powder and mix well. Scrape down bowl and add chocolate. Continue mixing and add egg yolks, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Fold in heavy cream that has been beaten to firm peak. Mix well to incorporate, leaving no white streaks in the chocolate.
Spread mousse over crust. Chill about 2 hours, until set. Cut into desired size bars (1 x 4-1/2 '; cuts will yield about 2 dozen bars)
with a sharp knife dipped in hot water. Place bars on a cooling rack that has been placed over a clean baking sheet. If bars are soft, place rack in freezer until ganache is ready. (Bars may be completed at this time or coated with ganache)
GANACHE: Melt chocolate in double boiler. Mix sugar and heavy cream in a small saucepan and bring mixture to a slow boil over low heat
(be careful not to scorch the cream). Pour cream over chocolate and stir with a whisk to incorporate, making sure all the chocolate is melted. Strain mixture to remove any pieces of unmelted chocolate.
Let cool for about 1 hour.
Pour ganache over firm bars to coat. Refrigerate for 1 hour to firm ganache.
no idea lol u can melt bakers chocolate and try to make it urself by testing out thingsHow do I make candy bars at home?
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/431546/goldwrapped_homemade_christmas_gifts.html
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http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/433968/homemade_christmas_nobake_delicacies.html
Report Abuse
I've developed my own recipe for some awesome ';mock peanut butter cups'; and they are good! I take a few BIG spoonfulls of peanut butter (maybe a cup or so) and a few tablespoons of butter and melt them together in the microwave, then I mix in powdered sugar until it's a thick texture- not too much or they'll break apart when you go to cut them. I spread that into a glass pan and in a seperate bowl I pour some chocolate chips and a splash of heavy whipping cream (maybe a cup of chips and 2 or 3 tablespoons of cream) and I melt that together in the microwave. Try 45 seconds and if you stir and it's not melted go for another 15, stirring after each time, until it's done. spread your chocolate on top and put it in the fridge to firm up, cut into squares and there you have it!
Tht's a pretty ambicoius undertaking but, here you go.
CRUST
8 1/2 oz Milk chocolate chips
8 1/2 oz Peanut butter, creamy
5 oz Corn flakes, crushed lightly
MOUSSE
12 oz Butter
12 oz Confectioner's sugar
2 oz Cocoa powder
5 oz Semisweet chocolate
4 x Pasteurized egg yolks
2 cup Heavy cream
GANACHE
1 oz Sugar
2 cup Heavy cream
20 oz Semisweet chocolate
CRUST: Line a 9 x 13'; cake pan with parchment paper. Melt milk chocolate in a double boiler. Stir peanut butter into melted chocolate. Place crushed corn flakes in a bowl and stir chocolate/peanut butter mixture over them, mixing well.
Spread mixture evenly into prepared pan and cool in refrigerator.
MOUSSE: Melt semisweet chocolate in a double boiler. Cream butter and sugar in a mixer fitted with a paddle, beating until light and fluffy. Add sifted cocoa powder and mix well. Scrape down bowl and add chocolate. Continue mixing and add egg yolks, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Fold in heavy cream that has been beaten to firm peak. Mix well to incorporate, leaving no white streaks in the chocolate.
Spread mousse over crust. Chill about 2 hours, until set. Cut into desired size bars (1 x 4-1/2 '; cuts will yield about 2 dozen bars)
with a sharp knife dipped in hot water. Place bars on a cooling rack that has been placed over a clean baking sheet. If bars are soft, place rack in freezer until ganache is ready. (Bars may be completed at this time or coated with ganache)
GANACHE: Melt chocolate in double boiler. Mix sugar and heavy cream in a small saucepan and bring mixture to a slow boil over low heat
(be careful not to scorch the cream). Pour cream over chocolate and stir with a whisk to incorporate, making sure all the chocolate is melted. Strain mixture to remove any pieces of unmelted chocolate.
Let cool for about 1 hour.
Pour ganache over firm bars to coat. Refrigerate for 1 hour to firm ganache.
How can I change my husband?
Hi Ammas I am a 27 year old woman. I was married three years ago and I have a 5 month old daughter. My marriage is on rocks so please advice and help me. I lost my father during my graduation. My mother and I faced many hardships after that 鈥?money problems and pressure from relatives. With gods grace and my mothers blessings I completed my PG. I have a brother who is 2 years elder to me. He was not gud at studies and was still graduating and doing a small job when my dad left us. After my dad passed away he left his job and was idle for 5 years. Those five years he tortured my mother and me. He thought he is the master of the family and we shud listen to him and act accordingly. He would use bad language whenever there is an argument. He had problem with my PG becoz it involved lot of money 鈥?hefty fees, hostel expenses etc. He wanted a/c for each penny my mom spent. He used to just loiter around, hangout with friends and do some networking courses. Me and my bro had heated arguments often and my mom used to suffer a lot of emotional pain. After my PG I got married and got a good job. First year was marvelous. We had lot of love for each other and enjoyed life though there were tiny disputes. In the second year my bro and mother came to stay with us becoz my brother was looking for a job in our city and they were financially weak. I used to help them financially and my husband never complained. Looking at my lazy brother my husband started behaving like him. He stopped helping me in daily chores. My bro used to make a mess at home leaving things here and there. If I said anything he wud blow up the issue. He wud say the food isn鈥檛 tasty, why don鈥檛 you cook more items? Why this curry today? etc etc. We had arguments every other day. I used to tell him that I will manage my home in my own way. I used to tell my husband be on my side in these arguments. Explain my brother not to hurt me with words and warn him but he always kept quiet and never interrupted us. Since I didn鈥檛 have my husbands support there was no one to stop my brother. I used to cry a lot and suffered lot of emotional pain. My relationship with my husband was getting affected due to this. We used to argue over in-laws or on when to have kids. Since I was already upset becoz of my bro I used to shout on my husband. I never fought with him unnecessarily or without a reason. My husband used to be cool and never lost his temper. My husband lost his job. He blamed me for losing it. He says he cud not work efficiently becoz of our fights. Third year me and my husband moved to another city. We both have good jobs now but things have changed a lot and are becoming worse day by day. All hell broke loose on me since the day we shifted here. I got pregnant. My husband was not prepared for a child. He was not very happy but agreed for a child becoz I was desperate. We bought a 3BHK flat on loans since we both were earning. Now our incomes are just enough to run the household. There are no savings at all. There is no money for fun or enjoyment. My husband has changed a lot. He never took care of me when I was pregnant. He stopped giving me his salary for maintaining the house. Two thirds of his salary goes away for the home loan EMI. Rest he hides. I have to tell him what I did with my money. I have to show him my bank statements. He has stopped helping. He has become very insensitive. He is just not bothered abt anything. I have to do everything - buying grocery %26amp; fruits, shopping for the kid, paying all bills, buying home furniture etc etc. He just gets up in the morning , has his breakfast and goes to office. Comes back watches tv and eats dinner and sleep. Max he will take me to the nearby grocery store. He will be in the car while I go shop everything. I manage both work and home. He does not even play with my daughter. He wanted a son so he is indifferent towards my child. Even my in laws wanted a grandson. My MIL has no problem but my FIL does not love my child. All of these people are well educated but they still have this gender bias. My husband has stopped talking to me. He will open his mouth only to blame me for something or to tell me a work. He does not love me at all. Post my delivery I have developed back ache. I keep crying of pain but he stays cold. He will hold my child for 10 mins after coming home and just does some time pass. Later he sticks to his tv. I take care of the child and cook dinner side by side. If I tell him to do anything he will either forget or he is busy. He will call his relatives %26amp; talk to them (complaints abt me) often OR he will buy air tickets on net for his brothers family but he has no time for us. Of late when we argue he has started beating me and using foul language. He says if you are not happy leave me and go. I have no clue why he has changed drastically. He says u have made me like this. I am very sad %26amp; depressed. I get up at 5 take care of my daughters needs, cook %26amp; and go to office. I come back at 7 cook again and play a while with my child. I am always tired becoz of the huge task list and stress. I am fed up of my life now. I don鈥檛 want to divorce him. I don鈥檛 have my family support. My bro is useless and my mother cannot help me. She has come to know of the changed behaviour of my husband and she pities me. I don鈥檛 want the social stigma of being a divorcee. I had a wonderful father and I don鈥檛 want my child to feel fatherless. My in laws know everything but they never blame their son. When ever I tell my problem to them they ask me to adjust and compromise. They don鈥檛 say a word to their son. I have a good MIL who understands me but my husband does not listen to anybody in this world. I have tried everything. I have spoken, requested, cajoled him. Nothing worked. I have even tried ignoring him %26amp; not talking to him but he irritates me for something or the other and the fight begins. Or he will start with a reason. I want to improve my relationship with my husband. Please helpHow can I change my husband?
I hate to tell you what you don't wan to hear, but you need to leave this man. He's obviously only hanging around because he's grown accustomed to the marriage, doesn't want to pay child support, wants you to support him (cooking/cleaning), and/or enjoys seeing you in pain. If this man beats you, even if (so far) it's only been once, STOP AND THINK ABOUT WHAT HE COULD DO TO YOUR CHILD!!! Your baby is completely defenseless in this world and extremely vulnerable. You may not think he's capable of hurting your child, but if he's ignoring her, and snaps so easily, he could hurt her in the blink of an eye, even KILLING HER!!! Who cares if you can't get help from your family??? Who cares if you don't want to be a divorcee???
WOULD YOU RATHER BE A SINGLE MOTHER ***OR*** YOUR CHILD GROWING UP MOTHERLESS OR YOU ATTENDING HER FUNERAL??????
I know I may sound a bit harsh to your situation, but I care. I really, really do...
GET OUT NOW!!!!!!
GET OUT NOW!!!!!!
GET OUT NOW!!!!!!How can I change my husband?
too long
did I read somewhere in there that He BEAT YOU? Leave him right away.
You can't change another person and don't waste your time trying. You need to boot your husband out and let him know that whoever told him that he could treat you this way and get by with it...lied to him.
Try getting some marriage counseling...And if that doesn't work then you have no chose but, to move on and file for divorce or continue to live the way you are. You husband is not being the man of his household and he has allowed your brother to come in and disrespect you. Now it is your home so stand up tell your no good for nothing brother to get out and not come back till he can respect you!!!!! Then look your husband in the eye and tell him he will be next if he doesn't shape up!!!
leave him and do it yourself x
You can't change someone who doesn't want to be changed.
The most important thing your relationship is the child. You both brought her into this world and it is BOTH of your responsibility to take care of her until she can fend for herself. But a father who is there but NOT THERE might even be worse than a father that was never there at all. It might be healthy for the child just to get out of that relationship right now.
Well no one really want to divorce but you have to do something. If he is beating you and calling you foul language then you must leave. Your child will hear her father calling you names and think it is okay...and when she gets older she will think it is normal and let someone beat her and call her names and stay because her mom stayed with her dad. He has changed for the worst but he seems very depressed because of you and him having a child...I would set him down and talk to him...tell him he wants to seperate then you need some help to find a place...tell him you need money for rent and that you and him can sell the house and go you and him owns ways....sorry about this situation but the only thing you can do is talk to him...it sounds like he wants out.
I am very sorry, but your husband has changed and blamed it on you. He does not see anything wrong with his behavior. You cannot change him. He has to change himself and I dont see that happening with what you are telling me. You say he is hitting you that is unacceptable. Also, a marriage is a partnership it should be fifty fifty. This means he should help with the household chores and the child care when you are cooking and home from work. I understand you do not want the stigma of being a divorcee, but how can you live the rest of your life in this hell. You are a young woman and have plenty of years left to live. If you wrote this to vent, I hope you feel better, but if you really want advice. You need to leave him. You can take him back once he realizes what he has lost and begs for your forgiveness. Until then, you do not have to deal with this.
To start off here, I must tell you that you can not change your husband. But what you can do is change the situation.
I am hoping that at this time you're mother and brother have respectfully moved out of your home and have gotten on with their lives. While it is an honorable thing to try to support your family, it simply doesn't work.
I hear a lot of different issues here, but the one thing that jumps out at me the most is the fact that your husband seems to be experiencing signs and symptoms of depression. I also see that in you as well.
I do not know if you are religious people and attend a church, if you do, I would certainly start there. Secondly, I would suggest that you attend counseling to improve the situation in your home. The violent out bursts and behavior is simply the tip of what is really the underlying problem.
I would suggest, further that you and your husband be given some alone time to discuss what is going on with both of you. Allow each other to speak freely with out blame or finger pointing.But most importantly. listen with intent and respect.
Good Luck,
Ikway
You cannot change HIM - but you CAN change yourself therefore invoking him to make changes. Get some marriage counseling - if he won't go - go alone...again work on changing YOU...I imagine that your self esteem has taken a hard hit from all of this. You may or may not end up leaving him after sharing your thoughts and feelings with a counselor. Good luck!
You cannot change your husband. You can only change yourself. You are living with several abusive scenarios and would qualify for a stay at a women's shelter. I would advise you to get help from a place like that, and at least consider the options that leaving your husband would give you.
You want to improve the relationship you have with your husband? Leave him until he straightens up his life and get counselling together if you two decide to give it another try. He treats you badly because you let him. Just as your mother let her son treat her badly your child will see you letting your husband treat you badly. Is that the image of a father you want your child to have?
Lady you are in a strange and complex situation and the way it looks only God can help you. So my advise is:
1.Pray God to intervene and change your husband to a good caring family man and husband.
2.If possible try to influence him to accompany you to see a Marriage Counselor.
I sincerely sympathize with your predicament , be prayerful and strong.
Things have gotten so far because you have let them get so far. Close the door on any person who does not respect you. Don't do his laundry, don't cook for him, hide your money, but if you go through all this, I think it's best to just get a friggin' divorce, it would be better for everyone, including your child.
Get therapy, you need some help with your self esteem, your self respect.
You need to leave him. People don't change, they only get better at what they are. He lacks common sense and discipline. Get out.
Ask yourself why do you attract this type of behavior from people.
Sweet heart , please re-write this with paragraphs so we dont get sore eyes trying to read it without any breaks and check your spelling , you've written 1 long paragraph with no breaks and using very little grammer that is understandable.
Will look forward to you re-writing it .
It's never going to happen. You know why? You can't change people. This is a problem that so many women have... they don't realize that the only person they can change is themselves so they spend years and years in a relationship until they realize reality: You CAN'T and NEVER EVER will be able to change him. You don't believe me now, but in time you will.a chance for revenge
I hate to tell you what you don't wan to hear, but you need to leave this man. He's obviously only hanging around because he's grown accustomed to the marriage, doesn't want to pay child support, wants you to support him (cooking/cleaning), and/or enjoys seeing you in pain. If this man beats you, even if (so far) it's only been once, STOP AND THINK ABOUT WHAT HE COULD DO TO YOUR CHILD!!! Your baby is completely defenseless in this world and extremely vulnerable. You may not think he's capable of hurting your child, but if he's ignoring her, and snaps so easily, he could hurt her in the blink of an eye, even KILLING HER!!! Who cares if you can't get help from your family??? Who cares if you don't want to be a divorcee???
WOULD YOU RATHER BE A SINGLE MOTHER ***OR*** YOUR CHILD GROWING UP MOTHERLESS OR YOU ATTENDING HER FUNERAL??????
I know I may sound a bit harsh to your situation, but I care. I really, really do...
GET OUT NOW!!!!!!
GET OUT NOW!!!!!!
GET OUT NOW!!!!!!How can I change my husband?
too long
did I read somewhere in there that He BEAT YOU? Leave him right away.
You can't change another person and don't waste your time trying. You need to boot your husband out and let him know that whoever told him that he could treat you this way and get by with it...lied to him.
Try getting some marriage counseling...And if that doesn't work then you have no chose but, to move on and file for divorce or continue to live the way you are. You husband is not being the man of his household and he has allowed your brother to come in and disrespect you. Now it is your home so stand up tell your no good for nothing brother to get out and not come back till he can respect you!!!!! Then look your husband in the eye and tell him he will be next if he doesn't shape up!!!
leave him and do it yourself x
You can't change someone who doesn't want to be changed.
The most important thing your relationship is the child. You both brought her into this world and it is BOTH of your responsibility to take care of her until she can fend for herself. But a father who is there but NOT THERE might even be worse than a father that was never there at all. It might be healthy for the child just to get out of that relationship right now.
Well no one really want to divorce but you have to do something. If he is beating you and calling you foul language then you must leave. Your child will hear her father calling you names and think it is okay...and when she gets older she will think it is normal and let someone beat her and call her names and stay because her mom stayed with her dad. He has changed for the worst but he seems very depressed because of you and him having a child...I would set him down and talk to him...tell him he wants to seperate then you need some help to find a place...tell him you need money for rent and that you and him can sell the house and go you and him owns ways....sorry about this situation but the only thing you can do is talk to him...it sounds like he wants out.
I am very sorry, but your husband has changed and blamed it on you. He does not see anything wrong with his behavior. You cannot change him. He has to change himself and I dont see that happening with what you are telling me. You say he is hitting you that is unacceptable. Also, a marriage is a partnership it should be fifty fifty. This means he should help with the household chores and the child care when you are cooking and home from work. I understand you do not want the stigma of being a divorcee, but how can you live the rest of your life in this hell. You are a young woman and have plenty of years left to live. If you wrote this to vent, I hope you feel better, but if you really want advice. You need to leave him. You can take him back once he realizes what he has lost and begs for your forgiveness. Until then, you do not have to deal with this.
To start off here, I must tell you that you can not change your husband. But what you can do is change the situation.
I am hoping that at this time you're mother and brother have respectfully moved out of your home and have gotten on with their lives. While it is an honorable thing to try to support your family, it simply doesn't work.
I hear a lot of different issues here, but the one thing that jumps out at me the most is the fact that your husband seems to be experiencing signs and symptoms of depression. I also see that in you as well.
I do not know if you are religious people and attend a church, if you do, I would certainly start there. Secondly, I would suggest that you attend counseling to improve the situation in your home. The violent out bursts and behavior is simply the tip of what is really the underlying problem.
I would suggest, further that you and your husband be given some alone time to discuss what is going on with both of you. Allow each other to speak freely with out blame or finger pointing.But most importantly. listen with intent and respect.
Good Luck,
Ikway
You cannot change HIM - but you CAN change yourself therefore invoking him to make changes. Get some marriage counseling - if he won't go - go alone...again work on changing YOU...I imagine that your self esteem has taken a hard hit from all of this. You may or may not end up leaving him after sharing your thoughts and feelings with a counselor. Good luck!
You cannot change your husband. You can only change yourself. You are living with several abusive scenarios and would qualify for a stay at a women's shelter. I would advise you to get help from a place like that, and at least consider the options that leaving your husband would give you.
You want to improve the relationship you have with your husband? Leave him until he straightens up his life and get counselling together if you two decide to give it another try. He treats you badly because you let him. Just as your mother let her son treat her badly your child will see you letting your husband treat you badly. Is that the image of a father you want your child to have?
Lady you are in a strange and complex situation and the way it looks only God can help you. So my advise is:
1.Pray God to intervene and change your husband to a good caring family man and husband.
2.If possible try to influence him to accompany you to see a Marriage Counselor.
I sincerely sympathize with your predicament , be prayerful and strong.
Things have gotten so far because you have let them get so far. Close the door on any person who does not respect you. Don't do his laundry, don't cook for him, hide your money, but if you go through all this, I think it's best to just get a friggin' divorce, it would be better for everyone, including your child.
Get therapy, you need some help with your self esteem, your self respect.
You need to leave him. People don't change, they only get better at what they are. He lacks common sense and discipline. Get out.
Ask yourself why do you attract this type of behavior from people.
Sweet heart , please re-write this with paragraphs so we dont get sore eyes trying to read it without any breaks and check your spelling , you've written 1 long paragraph with no breaks and using very little grammer that is understandable.
Will look forward to you re-writing it .
It's never going to happen. You know why? You can't change people. This is a problem that so many women have... they don't realize that the only person they can change is themselves so they spend years and years in a relationship until they realize reality: You CAN'T and NEVER EVER will be able to change him. You don't believe me now, but in time you will.
How does Directbuy make money?
On their website Directbuy states something along the lines of as a member of directbuy you will enjoy shopping with ';no traditional mark ups';. Now my mother in law insists that they only make money on memberships, but I have a strong suspicion that they make money on commissions from the companies they sell for. If anyone is familiar with affiliate marketing on the Internet, I assume it may be the same principal. If they say no traditional markups, it means that there is some sort of markup, maybe not a traditional markup.
The reason I ask is because I want to buy cabinets from home depot, but my mother in law said that directbuy stopped selling the same cabinets due to poor quality in manufacturing. I feel that maybe they could have stopped carrying them for other reasons, for instance, they weren't selling enough to make good commissions.
Any help?How does Directbuy make money?
Any company that is not the manufacturer - They are making money from each sale.
There's alot of these so called ';Wholesale'; sites and crap, but you can't buy anything at wholesale price unless you are buying straight from the manufacturer.
There can't be a middleman.
The reason I ask is because I want to buy cabinets from home depot, but my mother in law said that directbuy stopped selling the same cabinets due to poor quality in manufacturing. I feel that maybe they could have stopped carrying them for other reasons, for instance, they weren't selling enough to make good commissions.
Any help?How does Directbuy make money?
Any company that is not the manufacturer - They are making money from each sale.
There's alot of these so called ';Wholesale'; sites and crap, but you can't buy anything at wholesale price unless you are buying straight from the manufacturer.
There can't be a middleman.
How difficult is it to trade a used mobile home for a better mobile home?
We live in a 95 single wide with 2 bedrooms,(we pay the payments on it but its in my fiance's parents name because they lived there for 10 years before moving to a house.) its completely tin, the sides are tin the roof is tin yet the inside is in pretty good shape, we have painted and decorated here and there on our own. I have been told that when it comes to mobile homes, a dealer that is willing to trade at all will probably never be willing to trade a tin trailer. (Nobody wants them and they are harder to sell) is what he said. But they still make them? Anyway, would we be better off to be first time home buyers or should we attempt to trade it in on a better mobile home? Also, how risky would it be to buy a reposed home for a lower price? Anyone that has been there done that please feel free to give some tips. We aren't made of money by no means, so its going to be difficult to start with anyway, and I know that I have less than perfect credit, we are only 23 years old, but I already have a child from my first marriage, and I know someday we'd like to have our own, but 2 bedrooms just ain't' gonna cut it! How difficult is it to trade a used mobile home for a better mobile home?
Mobile homes are like buying a used Yugo.
Try for a real house.
Many programs out there.
How difficult is it to trade a used mobile home for a better mobile home?
mobile homes like mobile home parks are not all they are cracked up to be, I have been living in one for 10 years now, don't get stuck like I am do not put that thing in your name see if you can rent it instead because then if it doesnt work out you can leave.
If your credit is not great, you won't be able to get another trailer anyway. Stop camping %26amp; get into a real home! You won't get a good trade in on it anyway, and you have to find someone willing to buy it that will pay cash or have excellent credit.
Good luck!
Better to sell this place outright if you can. . . .better deal generally than a trade-in
Well while working on this deal, you need to BUILD your credit by paying ALL your bills in full and on time, paying down your credit cards, avoiding new debt. . . .and you also need to SAVE for your down payment. . . .6-12 months of this will put you in a better position than now
The problem with mobile homes, whether tin or not, is that like a car, they depreciate, lose value. . . .whereas traditional homes have tended to appreciate or increase in value, although right now they are declining
First thing - with due respect - is don't make any more babies until you are more settled in your life.
You say your old trailer is probably pretty much useless to a dealer. But you do know a dealer's tactic will always be ';you've got a piece of junk, but as a special favor I'll take it off your hands.';
If you were buying it how much would you realistically pay for it? Check dealers to see what they charge for a similar design, but knowing you'll never get that much for it on the open market. It's 12 years old, of bad design and only in ';pretty good shape.';
If I were you I'd post notices in other trailer parks, looking for someone who is pretty desperate.
YOu have alot of things working against you here:
#1 - MH, not in your name. You have no say in what happens to this.
#2 - MHs are similar to buying a new car, they are never worth what you initially pay for them, especially if you have them in a park.
#3 - Trade ins, all the chips are on the dealers side.
#4 - Less than perfect credit. MHs have a higher interest rate than stick built homes anyway, so if you have less than perfect credit, you are certainly going to have double digit interest rates
#5 - I'll assume you don't have much to put down
My suggestion. Save save save, get your credit straightened out, put yourself into a position to buy a stick built home, don't add to your family into you are in a more stable position.
Mobile homes are like buying a used Yugo.
Try for a real house.
Many programs out there.
How difficult is it to trade a used mobile home for a better mobile home?
mobile homes like mobile home parks are not all they are cracked up to be, I have been living in one for 10 years now, don't get stuck like I am do not put that thing in your name see if you can rent it instead because then if it doesnt work out you can leave.
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If your credit is not great, you won't be able to get another trailer anyway. Stop camping %26amp; get into a real home! You won't get a good trade in on it anyway, and you have to find someone willing to buy it that will pay cash or have excellent credit.
Good luck!
Better to sell this place outright if you can. . . .better deal generally than a trade-in
Well while working on this deal, you need to BUILD your credit by paying ALL your bills in full and on time, paying down your credit cards, avoiding new debt. . . .and you also need to SAVE for your down payment. . . .6-12 months of this will put you in a better position than now
The problem with mobile homes, whether tin or not, is that like a car, they depreciate, lose value. . . .whereas traditional homes have tended to appreciate or increase in value, although right now they are declining
First thing - with due respect - is don't make any more babies until you are more settled in your life.
You say your old trailer is probably pretty much useless to a dealer. But you do know a dealer's tactic will always be ';you've got a piece of junk, but as a special favor I'll take it off your hands.';
If you were buying it how much would you realistically pay for it? Check dealers to see what they charge for a similar design, but knowing you'll never get that much for it on the open market. It's 12 years old, of bad design and only in ';pretty good shape.';
If I were you I'd post notices in other trailer parks, looking for someone who is pretty desperate.
YOu have alot of things working against you here:
#1 - MH, not in your name. You have no say in what happens to this.
#2 - MHs are similar to buying a new car, they are never worth what you initially pay for them, especially if you have them in a park.
#3 - Trade ins, all the chips are on the dealers side.
#4 - Less than perfect credit. MHs have a higher interest rate than stick built homes anyway, so if you have less than perfect credit, you are certainly going to have double digit interest rates
#5 - I'll assume you don't have much to put down
My suggestion. Save save save, get your credit straightened out, put yourself into a position to buy a stick built home, don't add to your family into you are in a more stable position.
Possible to buy house w/ bad & no credit?
my husband has a decent job with decent pay and we would like to buy our first home. the thing is, he had bad credit - paid it all, now he has no credit. i have bad credit, still a bit of unpaid debt which i got before we were married. now, how does this work? i see people w/ worse credit getting homes but i feel like the door is shut. we live in texas. what kind of programs should we look for? can someone explain FHA for me? what would a loan officer or whatever they're called do for us? we agreed that it won't matter if we pay more in the end, as long as we finally get our own home but we are both very young and have no clue where to start. i feel like we'll be laughed at because we'd have little to no money down, we could pull our 401ks but that's only if it's absolutely necessary to get into a house. we've rented apts for 5 yrs and have never missed a rentpayment. can someone here take the time and explain a couple of the first steps we would need to take? i'd really appreciate it!Possible to buy house w/ bad %26amp; no credit?
you need to look for the lenders that specifically say we specialize in first time home buyers with bad credit or no credit..(there's usually ads on tv or on the computeror classifieds) I did that and I got approved and the house was decent looking, I just couldn't afford the house payment (it was like $650 a month for a 70,000 dollar house) my credit score is in the low 500's..Possible to buy house w/ bad %26amp; no credit?
Although you have paid all the bad credit unless you received a pay to delete in writing it remains on your report for 7 years. First get a copy of your credit report and see where you stand. Then check into FHA you might only need 5% down plus closing costs for that see a realtor and find out what you can afford, which is also dependent upon not only your credit report but your debt to income ratio Next here is a site that may be able to help you with the down
http://www.ameridream.org/
Good luck to you
i live in the uk so im not sure if the same rules apply. i was in the same boat as you but for a slightly different reason. firstly get a credit report from all major credit companys most bad debt can be written off, or settled for a fraction of the amount owed after certain period of time. my advice is to try and settle as many as you can, most debt collection agencys will take any reasonable offer and before settling have an arrangement in writing to have the default removed or classed as settled. this will give you a better chance of getting a mortgage with a lower rate, and from a more reputable lender. people with defaults can still get mortgages but the interest rates are very high and not worth the repayments just to get on the property ladder. in the uk defaults can only be kept on record for a maximum of 6 years and then it has to be removed even if it has not been settled, the rules may be the same in your country, if your default is close to the time it may be worth waiting it out and the creating a good rating from scratch.
good luck
you need to look for the lenders that specifically say we specialize in first time home buyers with bad credit or no credit..(there's usually ads on tv or on the computeror classifieds) I did that and I got approved and the house was decent looking, I just couldn't afford the house payment (it was like $650 a month for a 70,000 dollar house) my credit score is in the low 500's..Possible to buy house w/ bad %26amp; no credit?
Although you have paid all the bad credit unless you received a pay to delete in writing it remains on your report for 7 years. First get a copy of your credit report and see where you stand. Then check into FHA you might only need 5% down plus closing costs for that see a realtor and find out what you can afford, which is also dependent upon not only your credit report but your debt to income ratio Next here is a site that may be able to help you with the down
http://www.ameridream.org/
Good luck to you
i live in the uk so im not sure if the same rules apply. i was in the same boat as you but for a slightly different reason. firstly get a credit report from all major credit companys most bad debt can be written off, or settled for a fraction of the amount owed after certain period of time. my advice is to try and settle as many as you can, most debt collection agencys will take any reasonable offer and before settling have an arrangement in writing to have the default removed or classed as settled. this will give you a better chance of getting a mortgage with a lower rate, and from a more reputable lender. people with defaults can still get mortgages but the interest rates are very high and not worth the repayments just to get on the property ladder. in the uk defaults can only be kept on record for a maximum of 6 years and then it has to be removed even if it has not been settled, the rules may be the same in your country, if your default is close to the time it may be worth waiting it out and the creating a good rating from scratch.
good luck
How come in all their long lives, the Golden Girls didn't save enough to buy own homes? Did they sell old ones?
This makes no sense. All of them seem over 60, widowed or divorced. If Rose had her own house in St. Olaf, Dorothy's ex-husband was an entrepreneur, did they keep renting with their husbands until the old age? And if they sold and deposited $ in banks, how come they never had any money to even repair the leaking roof?!How come in all their long lives, the Golden Girls didn't save enough to buy own homes? Did they sell old ones?
Because it's called a TV show.How come in all their long lives, the Golden Girls didn't save enough to buy own homes? Did they sell old ones?
It has nothing to do with money, it was about living together and supporting each other after the husbands died/divorced. They were independent, but stuck together as friends.
And clearly they did have money since they did not work and were able to live active lives and were definitely not in squaller.
i agree with rob q.. not to mention after Dorthy remarried. the rest of them bought and ran a motel for awhile. I love that show...still watch it and im 26, hehe. i also like designing woman.
Because it's called a TV show.How come in all their long lives, the Golden Girls didn't save enough to buy own homes? Did they sell old ones?
It has nothing to do with money, it was about living together and supporting each other after the husbands died/divorced. They were independent, but stuck together as friends.
And clearly they did have money since they did not work and were able to live active lives and were definitely not in squaller.
i agree with rob q.. not to mention after Dorthy remarried. the rest of them bought and ran a motel for awhile. I love that show...still watch it and im 26, hehe. i also like designing woman.
My family is always asking to borrow money. It annoys the hell out of my husband. What can I do to stop it?
Certain members on my mother’s side of the family are always asking me to borrow money. My mother used to be in a habit of doing this. One of my aunts has a habit of doing this as well. Several of my other aunts will sign me up to contribute money for holiday/birthday dinners, assuming I have the money to do so. That’s the problem. They assume that because I’m married and we both work full-time and don’t have any children that we are sitting on top of loads of cash. But they are sadly mistaken.
After five years of marriage, we are just getting to the point to where we are saving some money. Sometimes we eat out too much and we’re just not good with managing money. We pay our bills and do things we want to do, but we’re not in the financial position we could be in if we would tighten up the budget. For whatever reason, even before I was married, my family has always assumed I have money.
We have a mortgage, two car payments, utilities, credit card bills, furniture bills, etc. My mom has one brother and five sisters, and only one of them finished high school. The rest are on fixed incomes and only one of them is financially secure. They figure if a person buys a new home, a new car, goes out to eat, wears decent clothes, and takes a trip once a year, they must have money. They associate wealth with material things. I have heard them talk about how money mother other family members have based on the car they drive or what they purchase.
One of my aunts came into town yesterday. I was in the bedroom with her for 10 minutes and she said, “I need to borrow some money and don’t say you don’t have any this time either. Aunty needs to borrow a little money.” When she comes to town I almost always tell her I don’t have any money. My husband hears these things and it drives him insane. She has two adult children, one who is imprisoned and has been for the past 15 years. One who lives in the same state as she does but is unemployed.
My family is the type who has always stuck together. When one can’t make it the others chip in to make it possible. I think that’s great, and I was a tad bit more lenient with giving/lending money before I got married. But chances are you won’t get it back or they’ll bring up a time when they did something for you to make you feel obligated to give it to them. Now, it’s like they don’t realize (or care to realize) this is not just my money. My husband and I put our funds in one account. He doesn’t make me account for anything, but it’s only right to tell him if I’m lending someone $20.
He’s going to want to know what for and usually there’s no reason. It’s just because they asked. My husband is somewhat selfish because he is an only child and his family isn’t close like mine. It’s always been him and his parents, and they’re not the type to ask you for a dime – even in their worst moments. I’m not that type either. I’ll do without or it will have to be a severe emergency for me to ask anybody for a loan. But because of the way he was raised, he can’t understand why people would randomly ask you to borrow money.
I had to talk to my mom last year and tell her it was getting out of control. She’d ask every week and if I told her I didn’t have it one day she’d ask the next, and the next, and the next. She saw nothing wrong with it as long as she paid me back. But she and my aunts view me as selfish because I don’t money and I’m not free with my money like they are theirs. If we’re having something as a family I participate 100% and buy whatever they need. But to just dish out $20 here or $20 there, I can’t do it. My husband will sit back and be quiet but will fume inside.My family is always asking to borrow money. It annoys the hell out of my husband. What can I do to stop it?
Say No, or your inability to do so will be the dimise of your marriage. When you married your husband, he became your family. (yes the others are too). You have to be most concerned about what makes your household run smoothly and honestly, your husband has a very good point. It is not about being selfish, it is about not being a damn ATM.My family is always asking to borrow money. It annoys the hell out of my husband. What can I do to stop it?
Stop giving them money
Tell them no, and keep repeating yourself until you're blue in the face.
No...No....No...No....No.....maybe with the repetition they will get the hint :)
have a big row and make them feel bad that all they use you for is money and your a young married couple and you have important bills and savings and they are taking advantage or your good nature
you need to stand up to them now or it will go on forever
and if they do care then they are not your family are they ?
You need to tell all of them that from now on the ATM of you is closed. You do not have money to loan. If they insist you have money, reply that you do not have money to LOAN, period no exceptions.
You owe your husband to be responsible with your joint money and your family needs to stop thinking you are a wallet for themselves.
I know it's hard, but you HAVE to say no. It is not your job to support them. Not at all. Is it worth going to divorce court over? You are married and THAT is your first priority. Please grow a back bone (I mean this in the nicest way) and learn how to say no. It's going to destroy your marriage. It's going to be tough and you will meet a lot of resistance, but you need to be firm.
Tell them, ';No!';
just them
Simply tell your family ';No'; then change the subject. If they persist tell them that your answer is no and will remain no. Why do they keep asking for money? Have they no income of their own. Say ';NO'; and stay strong.
Simple actually, tell them you are struggeling and you are saving up for the family you are hoping to expand one day. if they can not respect that then they don't respect you. You deserve your own life too.
Tell your family that you can't afford it. They should be able to understand. Don't let the rest of your family cause you financial hardship because they are either not able to make it on their own. A helping hand is always good to help your family but don't let them take advantage of it.
Sweet Mildred is my leader...crawl into her playpen with me
You just say no. You both have to have stand up for yourselves. You're not being mean. Your priority is what's under your roof.
EDIT: Your family sucks. I wouldn't even consider them ';family'; with that type of selfish, manipulating behavior. The best way to help someone is not to hand it to them, but to help them help themselves. Tell them to get jobs.
Give them the money and stop bytching about it !!
I certainly would put an end to this nonsense. Asking for $20 here, $25 there can surely add up darn quickly. You work hard for your money, %26amp; NOT to be handing it out to your whole family. This is just NOT a bit fair of them. From now on, tell them you do NOT have an extra cent to spare. Ask them WHO is going to ';take care'; of you when you need money?! It surely is NOT going to be any of them. You have to STOP THIS immediately or they are going to bleed you dry. Tell them you yourself are cutting back on things so you'll have money for yourself in your future or that you'll at least have money to pay YOUR bills. You just CANNOT keep handing out money to them all the time. You MUST put a stop to it %26amp; tell them please please do not ask you again, because the ans. is going to be the same. You CAN do it, make up your mind %26amp; DO IT...best to you...:)
Well, if you keep giving it, what else are they supposed think?
Stop giving them money. Just say something like, ';I don't have it, we are paying of some credit card bills'; or ';I don't have it, we have started a Christmas Club and money comes out of our checks and goes straight to a Christmas account that we can't touch until the end of the year';...sure they might be white lies but it beats having your husband upset. I am sure your family also takes advantage of the fact that you will give them money. I am sure they overspend or live outside of their means and bank on the fact that they can get money from you. It takes some tough love here, but unless someone is about to be HUNGRY or HOMELESS, you shouldn't be giving out money like that.
Ask your family does it look like you and your husband have 1st National Bank written somewhere on your bodies?Hell these are all adult family or no family simply come out and tell them no.You shouldn't have to give a reason why that is your money JUST SAY HELL NO ..they will get the picture ...
If you keep doing what you have always done you will always get what you have always got.
So stop doing what you have been doing. When asked for 20 ask for 30 to make your car payment. When asked for 20 to friday ask for 50 till next month to pay the gas bill. Yes it is a bother but be funny a little and turn them down in a fun way. Let them know you were thinking of putting out a collection jar to pay your light bill since your car payment was so much this month. Get him to play along with you. Tell them to ask him and him say to ask your mother for that 20 she got last time. She did say she would have it by yesterday.
rd
Is there anyone else you want to be an enabler to, or is it just family members?
Seriously, your husband is right to be angry. You are being taken advantage of people that would bleed you dry. You allow this, you need to take back control of the situation for both of your sakes.
No more money! Realize they are not loans to family members, but rather free money to people that are related to you.
I will guarantee one thing though, when you do cut off the money, you are going to become the blacksheep of the family and the ';selfish one';. You will realize you weren't as close of a family as you thought. You are closest when you paid for it.
You have to say no. Your obligation is to your husband and your marriage and the future you are planning for together. These family members are simply taking advantage of you and your hesitancy to say no to them. You have a new life now, and you need to consider your husband and the life you are making with him. Just tell these family members that you don't have any money that you can spare. If you are consistent with that answer they will learn it's fruitless to badger you.
Whether or not you have the money isn't the issue. It isn't your job to supplement your family with money, no matter what was done in the past. That was then, this is now. Of course, they aren't going to like it, but that is their problem, not yours. From this day forward, you need to come up with a ';standard response'; when they come to you with their hand out. Something like, ';Sorry, but you seem to be living under the illusion that I have money to ';lend';. That is no longer true. Please don't ask me again.'; No further explanation or justification is needed. If you say it like you mean it and follow through by never giving in again, eventually they will stop asking. Good luck.
Have been where you are ! And one day when I had enough of everyone that was too lazy or ignorant to realize how much they were hurting my wife and I. We made some changes. Had a friend draw up a legal ';loan note';. Where the name went is was blank. Along with the interest to be charged, length of note, amount of total pay back, and a place for signatures and witnesses.
Have not had one family member, or friend, ask for any money since shown the note ! But they still like to come stay and mooch off of us every once in a while.
You're going to have to be blunt about it. Bring up in a nice way that not every single person in the family contributes and that it's not fair. Let them know that you HAVE to start saving money so you can get started on a family -- or whatever. They have to respect your husband as well. If it were the other way, I'm sure your family would complain about his family if they were always bothering him for money. And that's not even the point, you need to safe for yourself. If they really love you, they'll get over it. Unfortunately there are many family members who take advantage of other family members. I'm sure you will feel very guilty (which is normal), but you have to do what you have to do. Family does not put obligations on others. You can help, but like you said, $20 here, $20 there, it all adds up. Maybe you can set X-amount of money on the side every month and just limit it to that. It can be $20 a month. You're still contributing and you're not being taken advantage of. If they ***** about that, then you know what really matters to them, sadly.
I say no also.
But I have a suggestion if you can't say no.
Go to each one of them and borrow the amount they normally borrow from you. Put it in a separate account. When they come to borrow it, it will be theirs not yours they are borrowing.
Or when they ask to borrow from you, say oh, I was just about to ask you if you had money I could borrow....sorry.
Otherwise, tell them, you wish you could continue helping them as you once did before marriage. Now things have changed, they need to go to the husband to borrow from now on.
Eventually they will become ashamed to ask him for it.
Good luck!
Tell them you are not a bank or lending institution. If you keep loaning, they will keep asking. Stop giving, start saying NO and you will stop getting the requests. It is under your control
well its pretty disgusting that they ask you and not you and your husband.
if i were your husband i would go crazy at you.... if you wanted your own money , then why get married... i dont get it...
you say your family all help one another etc, but it sounds like they are a bunch of no gooders who are lazy and not even into finishing school to better themselves.
i would never help people like that.
and i would respect my husband and tell them to ask HIM
well it is tough but you do just need to stay no. it almost sounds like they are trying to live off of you. i would have a hard time saying no to mom and dad but if they dont ever pay it back then tough. one thing my dad has always said is that if i have the money and you pay me back you can borrow all you want. I owe my dad over 50k because i bought a business and the business flopped because i was lied to but i pay him every month and will pay him. it is very simple if they pay you back you can lend it if they dont they dont get anything period. make it simple.long hair cut tiny myspace
After five years of marriage, we are just getting to the point to where we are saving some money. Sometimes we eat out too much and we’re just not good with managing money. We pay our bills and do things we want to do, but we’re not in the financial position we could be in if we would tighten up the budget. For whatever reason, even before I was married, my family has always assumed I have money.
We have a mortgage, two car payments, utilities, credit card bills, furniture bills, etc. My mom has one brother and five sisters, and only one of them finished high school. The rest are on fixed incomes and only one of them is financially secure. They figure if a person buys a new home, a new car, goes out to eat, wears decent clothes, and takes a trip once a year, they must have money. They associate wealth with material things. I have heard them talk about how money mother other family members have based on the car they drive or what they purchase.
One of my aunts came into town yesterday. I was in the bedroom with her for 10 minutes and she said, “I need to borrow some money and don’t say you don’t have any this time either. Aunty needs to borrow a little money.” When she comes to town I almost always tell her I don’t have any money. My husband hears these things and it drives him insane. She has two adult children, one who is imprisoned and has been for the past 15 years. One who lives in the same state as she does but is unemployed.
My family is the type who has always stuck together. When one can’t make it the others chip in to make it possible. I think that’s great, and I was a tad bit more lenient with giving/lending money before I got married. But chances are you won’t get it back or they’ll bring up a time when they did something for you to make you feel obligated to give it to them. Now, it’s like they don’t realize (or care to realize) this is not just my money. My husband and I put our funds in one account. He doesn’t make me account for anything, but it’s only right to tell him if I’m lending someone $20.
He’s going to want to know what for and usually there’s no reason. It’s just because they asked. My husband is somewhat selfish because he is an only child and his family isn’t close like mine. It’s always been him and his parents, and they’re not the type to ask you for a dime – even in their worst moments. I’m not that type either. I’ll do without or it will have to be a severe emergency for me to ask anybody for a loan. But because of the way he was raised, he can’t understand why people would randomly ask you to borrow money.
I had to talk to my mom last year and tell her it was getting out of control. She’d ask every week and if I told her I didn’t have it one day she’d ask the next, and the next, and the next. She saw nothing wrong with it as long as she paid me back. But she and my aunts view me as selfish because I don’t money and I’m not free with my money like they are theirs. If we’re having something as a family I participate 100% and buy whatever they need. But to just dish out $20 here or $20 there, I can’t do it. My husband will sit back and be quiet but will fume inside.My family is always asking to borrow money. It annoys the hell out of my husband. What can I do to stop it?
Say No, or your inability to do so will be the dimise of your marriage. When you married your husband, he became your family. (yes the others are too). You have to be most concerned about what makes your household run smoothly and honestly, your husband has a very good point. It is not about being selfish, it is about not being a damn ATM.My family is always asking to borrow money. It annoys the hell out of my husband. What can I do to stop it?
Stop giving them money
Tell them no, and keep repeating yourself until you're blue in the face.
No...No....No...No....No.....maybe with the repetition they will get the hint :)
have a big row and make them feel bad that all they use you for is money and your a young married couple and you have important bills and savings and they are taking advantage or your good nature
you need to stand up to them now or it will go on forever
and if they do care then they are not your family are they ?
You need to tell all of them that from now on the ATM of you is closed. You do not have money to loan. If they insist you have money, reply that you do not have money to LOAN, period no exceptions.
You owe your husband to be responsible with your joint money and your family needs to stop thinking you are a wallet for themselves.
I know it's hard, but you HAVE to say no. It is not your job to support them. Not at all. Is it worth going to divorce court over? You are married and THAT is your first priority. Please grow a back bone (I mean this in the nicest way) and learn how to say no. It's going to destroy your marriage. It's going to be tough and you will meet a lot of resistance, but you need to be firm.
Tell them, ';No!';
just them
Simply tell your family ';No'; then change the subject. If they persist tell them that your answer is no and will remain no. Why do they keep asking for money? Have they no income of their own. Say ';NO'; and stay strong.
Simple actually, tell them you are struggeling and you are saving up for the family you are hoping to expand one day. if they can not respect that then they don't respect you. You deserve your own life too.
Tell your family that you can't afford it. They should be able to understand. Don't let the rest of your family cause you financial hardship because they are either not able to make it on their own. A helping hand is always good to help your family but don't let them take advantage of it.
Sweet Mildred is my leader...crawl into her playpen with me
You just say no. You both have to have stand up for yourselves. You're not being mean. Your priority is what's under your roof.
EDIT: Your family sucks. I wouldn't even consider them ';family'; with that type of selfish, manipulating behavior. The best way to help someone is not to hand it to them, but to help them help themselves. Tell them to get jobs.
Give them the money and stop bytching about it !!
I certainly would put an end to this nonsense. Asking for $20 here, $25 there can surely add up darn quickly. You work hard for your money, %26amp; NOT to be handing it out to your whole family. This is just NOT a bit fair of them. From now on, tell them you do NOT have an extra cent to spare. Ask them WHO is going to ';take care'; of you when you need money?! It surely is NOT going to be any of them. You have to STOP THIS immediately or they are going to bleed you dry. Tell them you yourself are cutting back on things so you'll have money for yourself in your future or that you'll at least have money to pay YOUR bills. You just CANNOT keep handing out money to them all the time. You MUST put a stop to it %26amp; tell them please please do not ask you again, because the ans. is going to be the same. You CAN do it, make up your mind %26amp; DO IT...best to you...:)
Well, if you keep giving it, what else are they supposed think?
Stop giving them money. Just say something like, ';I don't have it, we are paying of some credit card bills'; or ';I don't have it, we have started a Christmas Club and money comes out of our checks and goes straight to a Christmas account that we can't touch until the end of the year';...sure they might be white lies but it beats having your husband upset. I am sure your family also takes advantage of the fact that you will give them money. I am sure they overspend or live outside of their means and bank on the fact that they can get money from you. It takes some tough love here, but unless someone is about to be HUNGRY or HOMELESS, you shouldn't be giving out money like that.
Ask your family does it look like you and your husband have 1st National Bank written somewhere on your bodies?Hell these are all adult family or no family simply come out and tell them no.You shouldn't have to give a reason why that is your money JUST SAY HELL NO ..they will get the picture ...
If you keep doing what you have always done you will always get what you have always got.
So stop doing what you have been doing. When asked for 20 ask for 30 to make your car payment. When asked for 20 to friday ask for 50 till next month to pay the gas bill. Yes it is a bother but be funny a little and turn them down in a fun way. Let them know you were thinking of putting out a collection jar to pay your light bill since your car payment was so much this month. Get him to play along with you. Tell them to ask him and him say to ask your mother for that 20 she got last time. She did say she would have it by yesterday.
rd
Is there anyone else you want to be an enabler to, or is it just family members?
Seriously, your husband is right to be angry. You are being taken advantage of people that would bleed you dry. You allow this, you need to take back control of the situation for both of your sakes.
No more money! Realize they are not loans to family members, but rather free money to people that are related to you.
I will guarantee one thing though, when you do cut off the money, you are going to become the blacksheep of the family and the ';selfish one';. You will realize you weren't as close of a family as you thought. You are closest when you paid for it.
You have to say no. Your obligation is to your husband and your marriage and the future you are planning for together. These family members are simply taking advantage of you and your hesitancy to say no to them. You have a new life now, and you need to consider your husband and the life you are making with him. Just tell these family members that you don't have any money that you can spare. If you are consistent with that answer they will learn it's fruitless to badger you.
Whether or not you have the money isn't the issue. It isn't your job to supplement your family with money, no matter what was done in the past. That was then, this is now. Of course, they aren't going to like it, but that is their problem, not yours. From this day forward, you need to come up with a ';standard response'; when they come to you with their hand out. Something like, ';Sorry, but you seem to be living under the illusion that I have money to ';lend';. That is no longer true. Please don't ask me again.'; No further explanation or justification is needed. If you say it like you mean it and follow through by never giving in again, eventually they will stop asking. Good luck.
Have been where you are ! And one day when I had enough of everyone that was too lazy or ignorant to realize how much they were hurting my wife and I. We made some changes. Had a friend draw up a legal ';loan note';. Where the name went is was blank. Along with the interest to be charged, length of note, amount of total pay back, and a place for signatures and witnesses.
Have not had one family member, or friend, ask for any money since shown the note ! But they still like to come stay and mooch off of us every once in a while.
You're going to have to be blunt about it. Bring up in a nice way that not every single person in the family contributes and that it's not fair. Let them know that you HAVE to start saving money so you can get started on a family -- or whatever. They have to respect your husband as well. If it were the other way, I'm sure your family would complain about his family if they were always bothering him for money. And that's not even the point, you need to safe for yourself. If they really love you, they'll get over it. Unfortunately there are many family members who take advantage of other family members. I'm sure you will feel very guilty (which is normal), but you have to do what you have to do. Family does not put obligations on others. You can help, but like you said, $20 here, $20 there, it all adds up. Maybe you can set X-amount of money on the side every month and just limit it to that. It can be $20 a month. You're still contributing and you're not being taken advantage of. If they ***** about that, then you know what really matters to them, sadly.
I say no also.
But I have a suggestion if you can't say no.
Go to each one of them and borrow the amount they normally borrow from you. Put it in a separate account. When they come to borrow it, it will be theirs not yours they are borrowing.
Or when they ask to borrow from you, say oh, I was just about to ask you if you had money I could borrow....sorry.
Otherwise, tell them, you wish you could continue helping them as you once did before marriage. Now things have changed, they need to go to the husband to borrow from now on.
Eventually they will become ashamed to ask him for it.
Good luck!
Tell them you are not a bank or lending institution. If you keep loaning, they will keep asking. Stop giving, start saying NO and you will stop getting the requests. It is under your control
well its pretty disgusting that they ask you and not you and your husband.
if i were your husband i would go crazy at you.... if you wanted your own money , then why get married... i dont get it...
you say your family all help one another etc, but it sounds like they are a bunch of no gooders who are lazy and not even into finishing school to better themselves.
i would never help people like that.
and i would respect my husband and tell them to ask HIM
well it is tough but you do just need to stay no. it almost sounds like they are trying to live off of you. i would have a hard time saying no to mom and dad but if they dont ever pay it back then tough. one thing my dad has always said is that if i have the money and you pay me back you can borrow all you want. I owe my dad over 50k because i bought a business and the business flopped because i was lied to but i pay him every month and will pay him. it is very simple if they pay you back you can lend it if they dont they dont get anything period. make it simple.
Nobody wants our money...Part 2?
This is my second post to this question, because after reading your responses I realized there is quite a bit of information that you need to give me a more precise response. So here it is...
In 2005 my then fiancee was in a no fault near-fatal car accident. He raked in over $200,000 in medical bills and was unemployed at the time, since he had just graduated from college. For some reason his parents had let his health insurance lapse under the assumption that he would find a job before he needed any medical treatments.
Since I had also just graduated, i was also unemployed so I decided rather then to find a job to help nurse him through his rcvoery. I returned to work in Sept and he in Jan of 2006. We began paying off what we could on our small incomes but his parents were not helping us at all, and my parents were doing as much as they could afford to, but we slowly began to fall further and further behind on our bills.
In August of 06 I began law school thinking that it wouldn't hurt us too bad financially since I had a few small scholarships and loans. But I was soo wrong. We again began to slip on our bills and even after we both picked up part time jobs, it was to late. I decided not return to law school until we were paid up on all our bills (and hope to finally return to school next fall). We were able to get his med. bills down to $23k, which is a big drop from the original $234k bill, but still a very large number.
We have been curent on our bills for over 12months and have been advised by all the mortgage brokers we have spoken to not to pay any more of his medical bills due to the amount of time that has past. There is no more money (that we know of) coming from his accident and we used what we did get from insurance to buy him a new car and pay some of the bills. We make decent money now, pay for everything with cash, but occasionally use our credit cards to show the creditors that are able to use them pay them off on time. We make fairly decent money for our age and that is how we are albe to put so much into our investments and savings. Oh and we have 2 cars paid in full. I hope this helps.
My original question is posted below, and thank you so much for your feedback, it is very honest but helpful.
';My husband and I are interested in buying our first home for approximately 130k. Our credit scores are both around a 530-540. We have 15k in savings, and decent 401ks and IRA's. We earn alittle over 6k/month but keep getting turned down for mortgages. When we were younger we made some very bad decisions and our credit was hit fairly hard, but we have paid ALL of the balances off. Why aren't we getting approved, and what do we need to do to move into our first home???
Please help...';Nobody wants our money...Part 2?
It doesn't matter what the circumstances are, with those credit scores, you will not be approved for a mortgage. You scores are going to have to be 620+.Nobody wants our money...Part 2?
easy; build the credit rating via time. STUDY, in law school,
the law of credit. The law of mortgages.
I will guide you.
instead of a 130k home, find one for 35k and fix it. Become independent
and I will show you how to use your skills differently.
Do not jeopardize your cash reserves.
email me
Unfortunately it seems that your credit scores are not going to allow you to get a conventional loan. Low 500's is about as bad as it gets for someone who is not in immediate financial trouble. Mortgage brokers, financial planners and even self-help books can help you raise those scores in the next few years.
Renting until you can raise those scores is not a bad idea; however, if you are set on owning a home (and taking on the financial responsibility that comes with it) you could consider some non-traditional types of financing. Get creative. Look for owner financing, especially if it's someone that knows you or will take references other than the credit unions. Consider a lease with a buy option where you rent the home you want for two to five years with the option to buy at the end of the lease. Usually part of your lease goes toward the down payment. In the mean time, raise your credit scores and be ready to buy when the time comes.
Pay your bills. that is the moral and ethical thing to do.
It is not about ';getting away'; with not paying
530-540 is way too low to buy a home. 675 would be a very minimum.
You can get there in 24-36 months by paying all your bills on time.
A 740-750 is what you need to get a very good rate. At 675 right now you would get a 7-8% vs a 4-5% with 750
stop fighting the system just rent til the credit scores go up then consider purchasing at that time.
You really only have a couple of options here.
1) Continue renting and working on your credit - this could take 2+ years.
2) Credit repair - 30-60 days.
3) I have a lender that will approve FHA and VA loans down to a 530 mid score but the rates are higher as this is a higher risk loan for the lender. It may also require 10% down to get approved instead of the normal 3.5% for FHA.
In 2005 my then fiancee was in a no fault near-fatal car accident. He raked in over $200,000 in medical bills and was unemployed at the time, since he had just graduated from college. For some reason his parents had let his health insurance lapse under the assumption that he would find a job before he needed any medical treatments.
Since I had also just graduated, i was also unemployed so I decided rather then to find a job to help nurse him through his rcvoery. I returned to work in Sept and he in Jan of 2006. We began paying off what we could on our small incomes but his parents were not helping us at all, and my parents were doing as much as they could afford to, but we slowly began to fall further and further behind on our bills.
In August of 06 I began law school thinking that it wouldn't hurt us too bad financially since I had a few small scholarships and loans. But I was soo wrong. We again began to slip on our bills and even after we both picked up part time jobs, it was to late. I decided not return to law school until we were paid up on all our bills (and hope to finally return to school next fall). We were able to get his med. bills down to $23k, which is a big drop from the original $234k bill, but still a very large number.
We have been curent on our bills for over 12months and have been advised by all the mortgage brokers we have spoken to not to pay any more of his medical bills due to the amount of time that has past. There is no more money (that we know of) coming from his accident and we used what we did get from insurance to buy him a new car and pay some of the bills. We make decent money now, pay for everything with cash, but occasionally use our credit cards to show the creditors that are able to use them pay them off on time. We make fairly decent money for our age and that is how we are albe to put so much into our investments and savings. Oh and we have 2 cars paid in full. I hope this helps.
My original question is posted below, and thank you so much for your feedback, it is very honest but helpful.
';My husband and I are interested in buying our first home for approximately 130k. Our credit scores are both around a 530-540. We have 15k in savings, and decent 401ks and IRA's. We earn alittle over 6k/month but keep getting turned down for mortgages. When we were younger we made some very bad decisions and our credit was hit fairly hard, but we have paid ALL of the balances off. Why aren't we getting approved, and what do we need to do to move into our first home???
Please help...';Nobody wants our money...Part 2?
It doesn't matter what the circumstances are, with those credit scores, you will not be approved for a mortgage. You scores are going to have to be 620+.Nobody wants our money...Part 2?
easy; build the credit rating via time. STUDY, in law school,
the law of credit. The law of mortgages.
I will guide you.
instead of a 130k home, find one for 35k and fix it. Become independent
and I will show you how to use your skills differently.
Do not jeopardize your cash reserves.
email me
Unfortunately it seems that your credit scores are not going to allow you to get a conventional loan. Low 500's is about as bad as it gets for someone who is not in immediate financial trouble. Mortgage brokers, financial planners and even self-help books can help you raise those scores in the next few years.
Renting until you can raise those scores is not a bad idea; however, if you are set on owning a home (and taking on the financial responsibility that comes with it) you could consider some non-traditional types of financing. Get creative. Look for owner financing, especially if it's someone that knows you or will take references other than the credit unions. Consider a lease with a buy option where you rent the home you want for two to five years with the option to buy at the end of the lease. Usually part of your lease goes toward the down payment. In the mean time, raise your credit scores and be ready to buy when the time comes.
Pay your bills. that is the moral and ethical thing to do.
It is not about ';getting away'; with not paying
530-540 is way too low to buy a home. 675 would be a very minimum.
You can get there in 24-36 months by paying all your bills on time.
A 740-750 is what you need to get a very good rate. At 675 right now you would get a 7-8% vs a 4-5% with 750
stop fighting the system just rent til the credit scores go up then consider purchasing at that time.
You really only have a couple of options here.
1) Continue renting and working on your credit - this could take 2+ years.
2) Credit repair - 30-60 days.
3) I have a lender that will approve FHA and VA loans down to a 530 mid score but the rates are higher as this is a higher risk loan for the lender. It may also require 10% down to get approved instead of the normal 3.5% for FHA.
How do you know gas is too high?
A man stood outside the mall looking pitiful with a tin can in his hand and a sign around his neck which read ';wife and two cars to feed';.
Why did the gas attendant refuse to pump the man's gas....because he gave up his arm but refused to give up his leg.
Why did the man neighbor have sheep in his backyard....because their cheaper then buying gas for the lawnmover
a couple sit in a loan officer chair; loan officer said why are you here looking to buy a home? Couple said no looking to fill our SUV.
Tow truck man arrives to find a man waiting...are you broke down the man said no I just thought it would be cheaper to tow then drive.
Police arrived at a crime to to find a brink money truck driver tied up on the ground. Police said how much did they get?
The man said they didnt take the money but they siphoned all our gas.!
Man said I used to have a nice wife and a luxury home until i filled up my nice car.
Do you think it's time to buy a new bike?How do you know gas is too high?
I've got a good one to add to your list:
That night my wife came home and demanded to take her out somewhere expensive.
So I took her to the local gas station.How do you know gas is too high?
Is there a question in there you want answered?
Because the price of gas is higher than bottled water
fUnNy
Wait..what was your question?
Personally, I know gas prices are too high when it costs me over forty dollars to fill up my Honda Civic.
LOL!! But in reality is so sad!!!
lol so true
Yes it is time.
haaaaaahahahaaaaa! these are great!
Did you get these from an email ??? I did write back
LOL
Those are so sad because they are so true. Heh, heh, I really liked that second one.
funny .. but sad because its true =)
when you fart and start a fire, if you're walking past a candle
Things that make you you go hmmmmmmm!
Why did the gas attendant refuse to pump the man's gas....because he gave up his arm but refused to give up his leg.
Why did the man neighbor have sheep in his backyard....because their cheaper then buying gas for the lawnmover
a couple sit in a loan officer chair; loan officer said why are you here looking to buy a home? Couple said no looking to fill our SUV.
Tow truck man arrives to find a man waiting...are you broke down the man said no I just thought it would be cheaper to tow then drive.
Police arrived at a crime to to find a brink money truck driver tied up on the ground. Police said how much did they get?
The man said they didnt take the money but they siphoned all our gas.!
Man said I used to have a nice wife and a luxury home until i filled up my nice car.
Do you think it's time to buy a new bike?How do you know gas is too high?
I've got a good one to add to your list:
That night my wife came home and demanded to take her out somewhere expensive.
So I took her to the local gas station.How do you know gas is too high?
Is there a question in there you want answered?
Because the price of gas is higher than bottled water
fUnNy
Wait..what was your question?
Personally, I know gas prices are too high when it costs me over forty dollars to fill up my Honda Civic.
LOL!! But in reality is so sad!!!
lol so true
Yes it is time.
haaaaaahahahaaaaa! these are great!
Did you get these from an email ??? I did write back
LOL
Those are so sad because they are so true. Heh, heh, I really liked that second one.
funny .. but sad because its true =)
when you fart and start a fire, if you're walking past a candle
Things that make you you go hmmmmmmm!
Welcome to Socialism, how's that hope and change working out for ya?
A License Required for your HOUSE?
If you own your home you really need to check this out. At the end of this
email is the Google link to verify. If the country thinks the housing
market is depressed now, wait until everyone sees this. No one will be
buying homes in the future.
A License will be required for your house...no longer just for cars and
mobile homes....Thinking about selling your house? Take a look at H.R.
2454 (Cap and Trade bill). This is unbelievable! Home owners take
note and tell your friends and relatives who are home owners!
Beginning one year after enactment of the Cap and Trade Act, you won't be
able to sell your home unless you retrofit it to comply with the energy
and water efficiency standards of this ';Cap %26amp; Trade'; bill, passed by the
House of Representatives. If it is also passed by the Senate, it will be
the largest tax increase any of us has ever experienced.
The Congressional Budget Office (supposedly non-partisan) estimates that
in just a few years the average cost to every family of four will be
$6,800 per year. No one is excluded. However, once the lower classes feel
the pinch in their wallets, you can be sure that these voters will get a
tax refund (even if they pay no taxes at all) to offset this new cost.
Thus, you Mr. And Mrs. Middle Class have to pay even more since additional
tax dollars will be needed to bail out everyone else..
But wait. This awful bill (that no one in Congress has actually read) has
many more surprises in it. Probably the worst one is this: A year from now
you won't be able to sell your house without some bureaucrat's OK. Yes,
you read that right.
The caveat (there always is a caveat) is that if you have enough money to
make required major upgrades to your home, then you can sell it. But, if
not, then forget it. Even pre-fabricated homes (';mobile homes';) are
included. In effect, this bill prevents you from selling your home without
the permission of the EPA administrator.
To get this permission, you will have to have the energy efficiency of
your home measured. Then the government will tell you what your new energy
efficiency requirement is and you will be required to make modifications
to your home under the retrofit provisions of this Act, to comply with the
new energy and water efficiency requirements.
Then you will have to get your home measured again and get a license
(called a ';label'; in the Act) that must be posted on your property to show
what your efficiency rating is; sort of like the Energy Star efficiency
rating label on your refrigerator or air conditioner. If you don't get a
high enough rating, you can't sell.
And, the EPA administrator is authorized to raise the standards every
year, even above the automatic energy efficiency increases built into the
Act. The EPA administrator, appointed by the President, will run the Cap %26amp;
Trade program (AKA the ';American Clean Energy and Security Act of 2009';)
and is authorized to make any future changes to the regulations and
standards he/she alone determines to be in the government's best interest.
Requirements are set low initially so the bill will pass Congress. Then
the Administrator can set new standards every year.
The Act itself contains annual required increases in energy efficiency for
private and commercial residences and buildings. However, the EPA
administrator can set higher standards at any time. Sect. 202 - Building
Retrofit Program mandates a national retrofit program to increase the
energy efficiency of all existing homes across America .
Beginning one year after enactment of the Act, you won't be able to sell
your home unless you retrofit it to comply with its energy and water
efficiency standards. You had better sell soon, because the standards will
be raised each year and will be really hard (expen$ive) to meet in a few
years. Oh, goody!
The Act allows the government to give you a grant of several thousand
dollars to comply with the retrofit program requirements IF you meet
certain energy efficiency levels. But, wait, the State can set additional
requirements on who qualifies to receive the grants. You should expect
requirements such as ';can't have an income of more than $50K per year';,
';home selling price can't be more than $125K';, or anything else to target
the upper middle class (that includes YOU?) and prevent you from
qualifying for the grants.
Most of us won't get a dime and will have to pay the entire cost of the
retrofit out of our own pockets. More transfer of wealth, more ';change you
can believe in.'; Sect. 204 - Building Energy Performance Labeling Program
establishes a labeling program that for each individual residence will
identify the achieved energy efficiency performance for ';at lWelcome to Socialism, how's that hope and change working out for ya?
Yes, indeed that pretty much locks you in at where ever you are in life. If you don't own a house it jacks up the cost of getting one to the point where it may be forever out of reach. If you do own a house, you may be locked into it for lack of funds to make it match California standards (as I understand it, that's the goal, make the nation the same as CA energy standards). Even if you continually strive to save that lump of cash to achieve those 'standards' the bar will constantly be raised every year (bureaucrats CAN'T leave anything alone, justifies their existence) so many will never be able to sell.
So, Cap %26amp; Tax will be the cherry on top of the foreclosure pudding that will put the market into a situation 3 times worse than it is already. Nice. The mortgage meltdown is still rippling through the market, foreclosures still setting records every month, now they kill the rest of the market.Welcome to Socialism, how's that hope and change working out for ya?
hey i just woke up this saturday morning, why are you trying to put me back to sleep??
Do I get a prize for getting to the bottom of your question?
I assume there was a question in there somewhere?
well its had its ups and downs over the last 60 years. but we are still kicking
by the way its been over 30 years since i believed any number the CBO has released , its been consistently wrong everything it releases needs to be changed do to inaccuracies
What happened to my country..... All i can say is hope ';you people'; voted correctly... And yes, that means you people...
I don't know if this is spam, but if it was, then it still made me say. What. The. F*ck.
Energy efficency? NOW they come up with this idea? The White House doesn't need a license. Why should our homes?
People never cease to amaze me. WE, the human race, are killing this planet. We NEED to take drastic measures to ensure there IS a planet left for our grand kids. Change isn't always painless..and not everyone will agree with it. Look at the seat belt laws. When they were first enacted, people screamed bloody murder...now they save lives.
Try and drag yourselves into the next century please.
Donna
I have perused the amendment legislation and frankly I can't see the connection between socialism and the building codes pre-selling of property clause or a home owner license to re-sell thier homes to a potential buyer.
I think that the legislation sounds very good as a caveat minimum standards for potential home buyers who are on the look out for quality homes for their money. Afterall, this is a lifetime investment for any potential buyer.
You're political ideological premise sounds very out of skelter here. Socialism does not encourage the propertied to be necessarily propertyless either, ie, by this I infer that the propertied does not have to surrender to the state their property due to nationalised regulations which are perceived to be outrageous in the perceptions of the purportedly propertied individual.
The failure of the private sector to ensure the security of the propertied had already been compromised when Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae proved to be a great realty mortgage belt debacle a very short while ago. The purportedly socialist elements being the bailout from federal government meant a trillion dollar American taxpayer funded bailout as approved by Congress. In return for the American taxpayers the government has set minimum guidelines for people to have value for money realty and to ensure that shonky real estate thieves and their lackies ie realty conveyancy lawyers etc are qualitatively checked accordingly.
There can never be any compromise to what a trillion dollars is worth to American taxpayers if this means that American politicians have to legislate minimum standards then so be it.
This is to keep the common folk from ever again accumulating wealth in real estate. All dullards who thought W was bad are in for a rude awakening, if and when you get out of bed and assess obama'-caused damages.
If you own your home you really need to check this out. At the end of this
email is the Google link to verify. If the country thinks the housing
market is depressed now, wait until everyone sees this. No one will be
buying homes in the future.
A License will be required for your house...no longer just for cars and
mobile homes....Thinking about selling your house? Take a look at H.R.
2454 (Cap and Trade bill). This is unbelievable! Home owners take
note and tell your friends and relatives who are home owners!
Beginning one year after enactment of the Cap and Trade Act, you won't be
able to sell your home unless you retrofit it to comply with the energy
and water efficiency standards of this ';Cap %26amp; Trade'; bill, passed by the
House of Representatives. If it is also passed by the Senate, it will be
the largest tax increase any of us has ever experienced.
The Congressional Budget Office (supposedly non-partisan) estimates that
in just a few years the average cost to every family of four will be
$6,800 per year. No one is excluded. However, once the lower classes feel
the pinch in their wallets, you can be sure that these voters will get a
tax refund (even if they pay no taxes at all) to offset this new cost.
Thus, you Mr. And Mrs. Middle Class have to pay even more since additional
tax dollars will be needed to bail out everyone else..
But wait. This awful bill (that no one in Congress has actually read) has
many more surprises in it. Probably the worst one is this: A year from now
you won't be able to sell your house without some bureaucrat's OK. Yes,
you read that right.
The caveat (there always is a caveat) is that if you have enough money to
make required major upgrades to your home, then you can sell it. But, if
not, then forget it. Even pre-fabricated homes (';mobile homes';) are
included. In effect, this bill prevents you from selling your home without
the permission of the EPA administrator.
To get this permission, you will have to have the energy efficiency of
your home measured. Then the government will tell you what your new energy
efficiency requirement is and you will be required to make modifications
to your home under the retrofit provisions of this Act, to comply with the
new energy and water efficiency requirements.
Then you will have to get your home measured again and get a license
(called a ';label'; in the Act) that must be posted on your property to show
what your efficiency rating is; sort of like the Energy Star efficiency
rating label on your refrigerator or air conditioner. If you don't get a
high enough rating, you can't sell.
And, the EPA administrator is authorized to raise the standards every
year, even above the automatic energy efficiency increases built into the
Act. The EPA administrator, appointed by the President, will run the Cap %26amp;
Trade program (AKA the ';American Clean Energy and Security Act of 2009';)
and is authorized to make any future changes to the regulations and
standards he/she alone determines to be in the government's best interest.
Requirements are set low initially so the bill will pass Congress. Then
the Administrator can set new standards every year.
The Act itself contains annual required increases in energy efficiency for
private and commercial residences and buildings. However, the EPA
administrator can set higher standards at any time. Sect. 202 - Building
Retrofit Program mandates a national retrofit program to increase the
energy efficiency of all existing homes across America .
Beginning one year after enactment of the Act, you won't be able to sell
your home unless you retrofit it to comply with its energy and water
efficiency standards. You had better sell soon, because the standards will
be raised each year and will be really hard (expen$ive) to meet in a few
years. Oh, goody!
The Act allows the government to give you a grant of several thousand
dollars to comply with the retrofit program requirements IF you meet
certain energy efficiency levels. But, wait, the State can set additional
requirements on who qualifies to receive the grants. You should expect
requirements such as ';can't have an income of more than $50K per year';,
';home selling price can't be more than $125K';, or anything else to target
the upper middle class (that includes YOU?) and prevent you from
qualifying for the grants.
Most of us won't get a dime and will have to pay the entire cost of the
retrofit out of our own pockets. More transfer of wealth, more ';change you
can believe in.'; Sect. 204 - Building Energy Performance Labeling Program
establishes a labeling program that for each individual residence will
identify the achieved energy efficiency performance for ';at lWelcome to Socialism, how's that hope and change working out for ya?
Yes, indeed that pretty much locks you in at where ever you are in life. If you don't own a house it jacks up the cost of getting one to the point where it may be forever out of reach. If you do own a house, you may be locked into it for lack of funds to make it match California standards (as I understand it, that's the goal, make the nation the same as CA energy standards). Even if you continually strive to save that lump of cash to achieve those 'standards' the bar will constantly be raised every year (bureaucrats CAN'T leave anything alone, justifies their existence) so many will never be able to sell.
So, Cap %26amp; Tax will be the cherry on top of the foreclosure pudding that will put the market into a situation 3 times worse than it is already. Nice. The mortgage meltdown is still rippling through the market, foreclosures still setting records every month, now they kill the rest of the market.Welcome to Socialism, how's that hope and change working out for ya?
hey i just woke up this saturday morning, why are you trying to put me back to sleep??
Do I get a prize for getting to the bottom of your question?
I assume there was a question in there somewhere?
well its had its ups and downs over the last 60 years. but we are still kicking
by the way its been over 30 years since i believed any number the CBO has released , its been consistently wrong everything it releases needs to be changed do to inaccuracies
What happened to my country..... All i can say is hope ';you people'; voted correctly... And yes, that means you people...
I don't know if this is spam, but if it was, then it still made me say. What. The. F*ck.
Energy efficency? NOW they come up with this idea? The White House doesn't need a license. Why should our homes?
People never cease to amaze me. WE, the human race, are killing this planet. We NEED to take drastic measures to ensure there IS a planet left for our grand kids. Change isn't always painless..and not everyone will agree with it. Look at the seat belt laws. When they were first enacted, people screamed bloody murder...now they save lives.
Try and drag yourselves into the next century please.
Donna
I have perused the amendment legislation and frankly I can't see the connection between socialism and the building codes pre-selling of property clause or a home owner license to re-sell thier homes to a potential buyer.
I think that the legislation sounds very good as a caveat minimum standards for potential home buyers who are on the look out for quality homes for their money. Afterall, this is a lifetime investment for any potential buyer.
You're political ideological premise sounds very out of skelter here. Socialism does not encourage the propertied to be necessarily propertyless either, ie, by this I infer that the propertied does not have to surrender to the state their property due to nationalised regulations which are perceived to be outrageous in the perceptions of the purportedly propertied individual.
The failure of the private sector to ensure the security of the propertied had already been compromised when Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae proved to be a great realty mortgage belt debacle a very short while ago. The purportedly socialist elements being the bailout from federal government meant a trillion dollar American taxpayer funded bailout as approved by Congress. In return for the American taxpayers the government has set minimum guidelines for people to have value for money realty and to ensure that shonky real estate thieves and their lackies ie realty conveyancy lawyers etc are qualitatively checked accordingly.
There can never be any compromise to what a trillion dollars is worth to American taxpayers if this means that American politicians have to legislate minimum standards then so be it.
This is to keep the common folk from ever again accumulating wealth in real estate. All dullards who thought W was bad are in for a rude awakening, if and when you get out of bed and assess obama'-caused damages.
I'm buying a house and have found out the property has flooded before - What does this mean for me?
I'm buying a home and have recently written out the contract. No flooding was disclosed anywhere in the contracts. Before giving the realtor my earnest money, I received pictures from a neighbor of the entire back and front yard under water from last year.
After showing these pictures to the realtor, he spoke with the seller and said, ';This was only a one time event';.
What are my options here? I know that I can re-write the contract because it wasn't submitted with the original offer. If the property is selling for $129,000, how much would that go down considering the flooding? Also, no structural damage to the house, water never reached there.
Thanks in advance for any advice and help. First time buyer and college student - so I'm still learning...new to all of this!I'm buying a house and have found out the property has flooded before - What does this mean for me?
There is an evidence of lack of dosclosure here on the parts of the sellers. You need to check into insurabilty of the property. You went to not being told to finding out via an outside source. Apparently the neighbors, not the owners, felt it was important enough information to share before the sale. What else aren't they telling you? This is a big decision and they have already proven untrustworthy.I'm buying a house and have found out the property has flooded before - What does this mean for me?
i'm a college student too, but i live in california, so we don't really have the flooding problem here.. i don't know for certain on that one, but i think that not disclosing the flood would be grounds for re-negotiating!! at least i would hope to think so!! i think you should maybe call another realtor in your area and explain the situation to them and ask what can be done.. or try to find someone online that can help.. but i see you aren't getting very many answers on here!! well, i haven't gotten many answers to my question either, so don't feel too bad lol good luck!! i hope it works out for you!!
If it flooded once, it will do it again. No one can control the weather, if they could why did it happen the first time. It also means that there is probably hidden damage to the property. Hidden moisture that will turn into mold soon.
If you do go ahead make sure that you can get flood insurance, and make sure what is covered. If there is no chance of this happening again, why is the price so low?
I don't know what stage you are in your contract. Sounds like the offer has been accepted and your earnest money has been deposited. You should have a financing and inspection contingency in the contract.
your options are the following.
option 1
If you want out of the contract ask the agent to submit a signed mutual release to the seller asking for your earnest money back based on the fact that you have new undisclosed information on the property. Tell them why.
They should let you out now if you want out.
Your Agent and her manager need to get involved.
option 2
If you still want the house. simply tell them that you want the sellers to remedy the problem by installing french drains or what ever needs to be done to prevent this from happening again before you move forward with the purchase.
The other issue is to make sure that you will be able to acquire flood insurance and what that will cost each month.
did all of the neighbors have floods as well? whats going on with that. Is the house near a river? Does the house have a basement? if so have a sump pump installed by the sellers as well.
There are lots of things you can do to negotiate this out.
But NO you are not stuck with going through with the purchase if you want out get out now.
Ir your Realtor is good They will know what to do
They are a possibly the flooding could have been in 1993 and at that time they were water everywhere.
It you are getting a good buy talk to the Realtor about this.
Maybe keep in mind to get some low cost flood insurance
After showing these pictures to the realtor, he spoke with the seller and said, ';This was only a one time event';.
What are my options here? I know that I can re-write the contract because it wasn't submitted with the original offer. If the property is selling for $129,000, how much would that go down considering the flooding? Also, no structural damage to the house, water never reached there.
Thanks in advance for any advice and help. First time buyer and college student - so I'm still learning...new to all of this!I'm buying a house and have found out the property has flooded before - What does this mean for me?
There is an evidence of lack of dosclosure here on the parts of the sellers. You need to check into insurabilty of the property. You went to not being told to finding out via an outside source. Apparently the neighbors, not the owners, felt it was important enough information to share before the sale. What else aren't they telling you? This is a big decision and they have already proven untrustworthy.I'm buying a house and have found out the property has flooded before - What does this mean for me?
i'm a college student too, but i live in california, so we don't really have the flooding problem here.. i don't know for certain on that one, but i think that not disclosing the flood would be grounds for re-negotiating!! at least i would hope to think so!! i think you should maybe call another realtor in your area and explain the situation to them and ask what can be done.. or try to find someone online that can help.. but i see you aren't getting very many answers on here!! well, i haven't gotten many answers to my question either, so don't feel too bad lol good luck!! i hope it works out for you!!
If it flooded once, it will do it again. No one can control the weather, if they could why did it happen the first time. It also means that there is probably hidden damage to the property. Hidden moisture that will turn into mold soon.
If you do go ahead make sure that you can get flood insurance, and make sure what is covered. If there is no chance of this happening again, why is the price so low?
I don't know what stage you are in your contract. Sounds like the offer has been accepted and your earnest money has been deposited. You should have a financing and inspection contingency in the contract.
your options are the following.
option 1
If you want out of the contract ask the agent to submit a signed mutual release to the seller asking for your earnest money back based on the fact that you have new undisclosed information on the property. Tell them why.
They should let you out now if you want out.
Your Agent and her manager need to get involved.
option 2
If you still want the house. simply tell them that you want the sellers to remedy the problem by installing french drains or what ever needs to be done to prevent this from happening again before you move forward with the purchase.
The other issue is to make sure that you will be able to acquire flood insurance and what that will cost each month.
did all of the neighbors have floods as well? whats going on with that. Is the house near a river? Does the house have a basement? if so have a sump pump installed by the sellers as well.
There are lots of things you can do to negotiate this out.
But NO you are not stuck with going through with the purchase if you want out get out now.
Ir your Realtor is good They will know what to do
They are a possibly the flooding could have been in 1993 and at that time they were water everywhere.
It you are getting a good buy talk to the Realtor about this.
Maybe keep in mind to get some low cost flood insurance
R you motivated to buy a particular brand of baked beans because a DOG wants to steal the secret family recipe?
I have yet to understand the Creative Director's rationale for casting a DOG in the role of someone resorting to tricks and chicanery in order to steal the secret family recipe for Bush's Baked Beans. Why would a dog want that? And if the dog got it and sold it, what would it do with the money? Buy more BEANS?
This advertising campaign makes no sense to me. It was extremely obtuse when it first came out, and now that they have extended this campaign to about a dozen different dog scenarios, it just gets more and more obtuse and annoying every day they extend it and totally irritating now that they are running these ads, ad nauseum.
But if the campaigns works, well then I guess there is some justification for this ';creative idea'; when I think it is totally lame and nonsensical.
I am imagining that someone in the Bush family like Jay Bush who appears in the commercial, just loves his dog so much that he insists the advertising agency include the dog in his commercials somehow. I can just imagine him telling the agency, ';People love dogs. Yeah! People love dogs, and I've got a GREAT dog, Duke So let's have Duke sell our beans in our ads. Oh boy! We're gonna sell a ton more beans now!';
Either that, or the concept was to have someone trying to build up the perceived value of the recipe by casting someone tryring to steal it, but they couldn't get the family to agree to anyone else but family starring in their commercials and no-one else but Jay would be in it...so they got the dog and built a weird story-line around it.
I know dogs will eat just about anything, but do you feed a bowl of beans to a dog? And if you do, aren't you just inviting a bunch of misery into your home if you let the dog hang around after eating a big bowl of beans?
Well they got me to write about their beans so I guess it worked...in a way. Still when I'm at the store, I look at Bush's beans and I think of that damn dog ';Duke';, and I think MORONIC! I WILL NOT BUY BUSH'S BEANS!
How about you, though...Does a dog selling beans agree with you such that you want to go buy some now? Is this ad campaign effective? Or just lame?R you motivated to buy a particular brand of baked beans because a DOG wants to steal the secret family recipe?
Upon perusing your lengthy diatribe, I can only conclude that their advertising is effective. You definitely retained their image and are aware of their product. I am not really motivated to buy insurance form a gecko or a caveman either, but I sure remember them. If I were motivated to change insurance companies, they would certainly come to mind. As for the beans, I usually do buy Bush's beans. The dog has nothing to do with it. They just taste good and are reasonably priced. Besides if anyone could look for the classic case of the advertisement having nothing to do with the product, consider the case of ';AFLAC';.R you motivated to buy a particular brand of baked beans because a DOG wants to steal the secret family recipe?
People will buy the product if something they like is attatched to that product - Such as, a dog. Secondly, they need to be constantly reminded of a name or phrase for it to be remembered. Repetition is how humans learn. So they use the dog 'cause that is what they had available at the time initially. They create the mini-story to get the name aspect in there somehow..and build on it to repeatedly put the name out there for viewers to be reminded it is Brand X.
At the end of the day ..it works, we know that 'cause it is still running and if it were not working they would not continue to pay for the time slots on TV to advertise.
In fact, it is people just like you who hate it that also add to the sales. In your efforts to bring notice you too put the name in the minds of those who listen - and they buy Brand X when they are at the store. Your efforts truly are counter-productiveHow often do you wash your bed sheets
This advertising campaign makes no sense to me. It was extremely obtuse when it first came out, and now that they have extended this campaign to about a dozen different dog scenarios, it just gets more and more obtuse and annoying every day they extend it and totally irritating now that they are running these ads, ad nauseum.
But if the campaigns works, well then I guess there is some justification for this ';creative idea'; when I think it is totally lame and nonsensical.
I am imagining that someone in the Bush family like Jay Bush who appears in the commercial, just loves his dog so much that he insists the advertising agency include the dog in his commercials somehow. I can just imagine him telling the agency, ';People love dogs. Yeah! People love dogs, and I've got a GREAT dog, Duke So let's have Duke sell our beans in our ads. Oh boy! We're gonna sell a ton more beans now!';
Either that, or the concept was to have someone trying to build up the perceived value of the recipe by casting someone tryring to steal it, but they couldn't get the family to agree to anyone else but family starring in their commercials and no-one else but Jay would be in it...so they got the dog and built a weird story-line around it.
I know dogs will eat just about anything, but do you feed a bowl of beans to a dog? And if you do, aren't you just inviting a bunch of misery into your home if you let the dog hang around after eating a big bowl of beans?
Well they got me to write about their beans so I guess it worked...in a way. Still when I'm at the store, I look at Bush's beans and I think of that damn dog ';Duke';, and I think MORONIC! I WILL NOT BUY BUSH'S BEANS!
How about you, though...Does a dog selling beans agree with you such that you want to go buy some now? Is this ad campaign effective? Or just lame?R you motivated to buy a particular brand of baked beans because a DOG wants to steal the secret family recipe?
Upon perusing your lengthy diatribe, I can only conclude that their advertising is effective. You definitely retained their image and are aware of their product. I am not really motivated to buy insurance form a gecko or a caveman either, but I sure remember them. If I were motivated to change insurance companies, they would certainly come to mind. As for the beans, I usually do buy Bush's beans. The dog has nothing to do with it. They just taste good and are reasonably priced. Besides if anyone could look for the classic case of the advertisement having nothing to do with the product, consider the case of ';AFLAC';.R you motivated to buy a particular brand of baked beans because a DOG wants to steal the secret family recipe?
People will buy the product if something they like is attatched to that product - Such as, a dog. Secondly, they need to be constantly reminded of a name or phrase for it to be remembered. Repetition is how humans learn. So they use the dog 'cause that is what they had available at the time initially. They create the mini-story to get the name aspect in there somehow..and build on it to repeatedly put the name out there for viewers to be reminded it is Brand X.
At the end of the day ..it works, we know that 'cause it is still running and if it were not working they would not continue to pay for the time slots on TV to advertise.
In fact, it is people just like you who hate it that also add to the sales. In your efforts to bring notice you too put the name in the minds of those who listen - and they buy Brand X when they are at the store. Your efforts truly are counter-productive
How do I raise finance quickly?
During the summer we completed the purchase of a new home. Our existing home which is in move in condition in a great area and being marketed at a competitive price has failed to sell because of the time of year and for no other reason. We are now committed to buy the other home however the sub prime mortgage market has collapsed in the meantime meaning that raising the bridging finance is proving next to impossible. We have 3 weeks to raise 150,000 pounds (I am in the UK). Our IFA is working hard to find a suitable mortgage product but the changing market conditions are making this very hard. We have no rich relatives. The issue is mostly that we were going to borrow on the 200K+ equity on our existing home self cert to do the bridge but the loan to value available has been dropped dramatically as lenders play safe, leaving us stuck with a problem in the meantime. Help! What is the quickest way to raise this money?How do I raise finance quickly?
1. If you want to make comparisons using very accurate data, get quotes from different lenders or brokers on the same day. Mortgage quotes change daily. At times, they even change several times in one day.
2. When you compare terms, compare mortgage quotes for similar lock periods. A lock period is the specific span of time that guarantees implementation of a certain rate. As a rule of thumb, longer lock periods have higher rates. Lock periods are generally offered in increments, like 15, 30, or 60 days.
3. Compare mortgage quotes that have the same points, such as zero or one. In the mortgage business, a point is the term given to a rate. Three points, for example, means three percent. Mortgage quotes follow a tiered pricing. This gives you the opportunity to buy the rate and bring it up or down. How? It's very simple. To make the points decrease, increase the mortgage rate. To make the points increase, reduce the rate.
4. In the quote you ask for, ask that the quote loan be separated from associates fees. Property taxes, home insurance, and pre-paid interest are not lender's fees. What falls under lender's fees are the following: standard title, appraisal fees, and processing or underwriting charges.
5. Compare mortgage quotes of the same type. There are many types of mortgages. There is a buy-to-let mortgage. Then, there are also self-build mortgage, right-to-buy mortgage, and reverse mortgage. The terms of your mortgage could change along with the type.How do I raise finance quickly?
I remember having such a problem sometime ago, but my experience was that the cheapest and quickest method for raising the necessary cash was official channels through the bank for a bridging loan. If you find this prohibitive, I personally can't think of any other way that would prove less expensive, unless your solicitors can negotiate on withholding a percentage of the purchase price of your new property, but I suppose, as you say you have completed, this is already gone and presumably, solicitors have taken their charges. Only other quick way of raising some cash, but how much you could get is another matter, is to rent out your old property.
1. If you want to make comparisons using very accurate data, get quotes from different lenders or brokers on the same day. Mortgage quotes change daily. At times, they even change several times in one day.
2. When you compare terms, compare mortgage quotes for similar lock periods. A lock period is the specific span of time that guarantees implementation of a certain rate. As a rule of thumb, longer lock periods have higher rates. Lock periods are generally offered in increments, like 15, 30, or 60 days.
3. Compare mortgage quotes that have the same points, such as zero or one. In the mortgage business, a point is the term given to a rate. Three points, for example, means three percent. Mortgage quotes follow a tiered pricing. This gives you the opportunity to buy the rate and bring it up or down. How? It's very simple. To make the points decrease, increase the mortgage rate. To make the points increase, reduce the rate.
4. In the quote you ask for, ask that the quote loan be separated from associates fees. Property taxes, home insurance, and pre-paid interest are not lender's fees. What falls under lender's fees are the following: standard title, appraisal fees, and processing or underwriting charges.
5. Compare mortgage quotes of the same type. There are many types of mortgages. There is a buy-to-let mortgage. Then, there are also self-build mortgage, right-to-buy mortgage, and reverse mortgage. The terms of your mortgage could change along with the type.How do I raise finance quickly?
I remember having such a problem sometime ago, but my experience was that the cheapest and quickest method for raising the necessary cash was official channels through the bank for a bridging loan. If you find this prohibitive, I personally can't think of any other way that would prove less expensive, unless your solicitors can negotiate on withholding a percentage of the purchase price of your new property, but I suppose, as you say you have completed, this is already gone and presumably, solicitors have taken their charges. Only other quick way of raising some cash, but how much you could get is another matter, is to rent out your old property.
How do you get the money to flip a house?
I am very interested in flipping houses but the only thing I know about it is what I see on TV. My husband and I have no money, he works full time and I am a full time student with a part time job. We own our home but we would really like to buy a house that needs some cosmetic repairs and flip it but we are clueless on how to get the money to achieve this goal. Do we just get a loan? If we get a mortgage on the house then we will have two house notes and still need money for the work on the house so I am confused. Can someone please explain how people go about doing this?How do you get the money to flip a house?
This can be a very risky venture and is not for the weak of heart. CHOOSE the LOCATION wisely!
Pick something that is in a neighborhood that is ';gentrifing';... has older houses that are being remodeled and updated. These areas are usually fast resale: to someone who wants the neighborhood but doesn't want the hassle of the re-do.
Pick something that ONLY needs superficial work that you all can do on weekends: exterior and interior painting, flooring, adding of decorative shutters, etc.
MAKE SURE THE ROOF IS GOOD!
LIST IT WITH A REALTOR the minute you start on the exterior work and have a list of planned renovation to show potential purchasers. KEEP THE NAMES and contact info of all that show an interest so that your realtor can call them as you make progress.
DON'T BE GREEDY! Price it to SELL! A good rule of thumb is the original $cost, +cost of repair materials, +cost of financing, then + 26% profit on the total. (The realtor cost will be 6%...) IF THE MARKET WON'T STAND FOR THIS $AMOUNT AS A RE-SALE, then the risk isn't worth it.
It CAN be done, but it is not as easy as the late night ';info-mercials'; make it sound. Ask yourself the question: If it is as easy as it sounds on TV... why doesn't that guy have a crew that works for him 24/7 and purchasing/flipping them himself?
Hope this helps frame a thought pattern for you.
You can usually purchase the repair/upgrade items at Home Depot, etc. on a ';no payment or interest for 1 year';. Make sure that this option is available BEFORE you purchase the house.
MOVE IN and LIVE THERE WHILE YOU RENOVATE! Then it is ';owner-occupied'; and qualifies for an owner-occupied loan. You can rent your current home for 6 months for extra income to cover the two notes.
Purchase the house on a 30-year FIXED loan % with INTEREST ONLY payments for the first 10 years. FINANCE ALL OF THE CLOSING COSTS, including the pre-paid insurance, in the loan. This way, if the house doesn't sell... the world doesn't end. Just rent it until the market improves: with the WRITTEN agreement that it can be sold at any time, with 90 days written notice to vacate.
Remember, if you should have to rent it, there will be NON-owner occupied real estate taxes. Check with the tax appraiser for a ';best guess'; $per year.
One source of ';down payment'; $money is in your life insurance policy. Another is a cash advance on a credit card. You will probably need at least 5% down IF YOU PURCHASE IT AS ';OWNER-OCCUPIED';. You can always change your mind about living there long-term.How do you get the money to flip a house?
You answered your own question
Not sure just what it is that you're confused about - yes, if you buy a second house to flip, you'll have two house notes and need money for the work on the house. What did you expect?
People do it by having savings, or sometimes by borrowing from friends or relatives (not the best idea). Once they've done a couple successfully, they use that money for later flips.
when you buy the house it needs to be a huge bargain.... the things you do to repair the house all need to be done in about 3-6 weeks in allowing for prompt turnaround.... look for a place needing minor repairs but done with in the ability of elbow grease and sweat......examples....painting, new flooring landscaping... new fixtures, and new appliances....a lot of the costs can be floated in a credit term look for terms like no interest for 6 months or no payments and no interest for a year....home improvement places often have these offers ....
price the home lower than market value to sell quickly....otherwise all your profit is swollowed up in payments...
if you can turn the property in 2 monthes you will only see 1-2 payments selling that quick you will be able to repay the credit items you needed to repair the home as well....
keep in mind your credit will only carry you so far... be prepared to not get as much credit as you need.....
flipping houses is 75% research to find the perfect house and 25% doing the flip......meaning buy the right house.....i would learn as much as you can, about the ins and outs....go to the library and start reading any book you can find on the subject.... doing your homework...also start making a list of contacts that can do repairs that you cannot do....listing their rates and terms....30days, 60 days, etc.....figure out all this stuff while you are coming up with the property.... professional house flippers can take up to 6 monthes of research to find the perfect house.... good luck.......
Hard money loans, but it is very risky plus they are a rip off. My suggestion is that you partner with a RE investor.
The best way to do this is to find a house that needs repairs. Then you use something called an ';assignable purchase option contract'; to control the property. Once you have the contract signed, you make repairs and enhance the appearance of the property. Once complete, you assign the contract to a retail buyer. You only risk your time and you do not need credit or money (except what you spend in supplies) to make this happen.
If you own the property, then you have holding cost and higher risk.
Regards...
Because of the popularity of the flipping shows, there are a ton of people that have entered the flipping market, driving up prices of prospect houses.
Unless you have the money to pay cash, you will have two house notes, and need money for repairs.
If you are confused at this stage, this isn't the business for you. Many are enchanted by the TV shows where they resolve all the issues in short order and sell the house, but rarely do you here about house flippers that overpaid, the house had a more than cosmetic problems and the flippers got behind on everything because they were in over their head.
Have you tried a construction loan? Talk to your lender about it.
This can be a very risky venture and is not for the weak of heart. CHOOSE the LOCATION wisely!
Pick something that is in a neighborhood that is ';gentrifing';... has older houses that are being remodeled and updated. These areas are usually fast resale: to someone who wants the neighborhood but doesn't want the hassle of the re-do.
Pick something that ONLY needs superficial work that you all can do on weekends: exterior and interior painting, flooring, adding of decorative shutters, etc.
MAKE SURE THE ROOF IS GOOD!
LIST IT WITH A REALTOR the minute you start on the exterior work and have a list of planned renovation to show potential purchasers. KEEP THE NAMES and contact info of all that show an interest so that your realtor can call them as you make progress.
DON'T BE GREEDY! Price it to SELL! A good rule of thumb is the original $cost, +cost of repair materials, +cost of financing, then + 26% profit on the total. (The realtor cost will be 6%...) IF THE MARKET WON'T STAND FOR THIS $AMOUNT AS A RE-SALE, then the risk isn't worth it.
It CAN be done, but it is not as easy as the late night ';info-mercials'; make it sound. Ask yourself the question: If it is as easy as it sounds on TV... why doesn't that guy have a crew that works for him 24/7 and purchasing/flipping them himself?
Hope this helps frame a thought pattern for you.
You can usually purchase the repair/upgrade items at Home Depot, etc. on a ';no payment or interest for 1 year';. Make sure that this option is available BEFORE you purchase the house.
MOVE IN and LIVE THERE WHILE YOU RENOVATE! Then it is ';owner-occupied'; and qualifies for an owner-occupied loan. You can rent your current home for 6 months for extra income to cover the two notes.
Purchase the house on a 30-year FIXED loan % with INTEREST ONLY payments for the first 10 years. FINANCE ALL OF THE CLOSING COSTS, including the pre-paid insurance, in the loan. This way, if the house doesn't sell... the world doesn't end. Just rent it until the market improves: with the WRITTEN agreement that it can be sold at any time, with 90 days written notice to vacate.
Remember, if you should have to rent it, there will be NON-owner occupied real estate taxes. Check with the tax appraiser for a ';best guess'; $per year.
One source of ';down payment'; $money is in your life insurance policy. Another is a cash advance on a credit card. You will probably need at least 5% down IF YOU PURCHASE IT AS ';OWNER-OCCUPIED';. You can always change your mind about living there long-term.How do you get the money to flip a house?
You answered your own question
Not sure just what it is that you're confused about - yes, if you buy a second house to flip, you'll have two house notes and need money for the work on the house. What did you expect?
People do it by having savings, or sometimes by borrowing from friends or relatives (not the best idea). Once they've done a couple successfully, they use that money for later flips.
when you buy the house it needs to be a huge bargain.... the things you do to repair the house all need to be done in about 3-6 weeks in allowing for prompt turnaround.... look for a place needing minor repairs but done with in the ability of elbow grease and sweat......examples....painting, new flooring landscaping... new fixtures, and new appliances....a lot of the costs can be floated in a credit term look for terms like no interest for 6 months or no payments and no interest for a year....home improvement places often have these offers ....
price the home lower than market value to sell quickly....otherwise all your profit is swollowed up in payments...
if you can turn the property in 2 monthes you will only see 1-2 payments selling that quick you will be able to repay the credit items you needed to repair the home as well....
keep in mind your credit will only carry you so far... be prepared to not get as much credit as you need.....
flipping houses is 75% research to find the perfect house and 25% doing the flip......meaning buy the right house.....i would learn as much as you can, about the ins and outs....go to the library and start reading any book you can find on the subject.... doing your homework...also start making a list of contacts that can do repairs that you cannot do....listing their rates and terms....30days, 60 days, etc.....figure out all this stuff while you are coming up with the property.... professional house flippers can take up to 6 monthes of research to find the perfect house.... good luck.......
Hard money loans, but it is very risky plus they are a rip off. My suggestion is that you partner with a RE investor.
The best way to do this is to find a house that needs repairs. Then you use something called an ';assignable purchase option contract'; to control the property. Once you have the contract signed, you make repairs and enhance the appearance of the property. Once complete, you assign the contract to a retail buyer. You only risk your time and you do not need credit or money (except what you spend in supplies) to make this happen.
If you own the property, then you have holding cost and higher risk.
Regards...
Because of the popularity of the flipping shows, there are a ton of people that have entered the flipping market, driving up prices of prospect houses.
Unless you have the money to pay cash, you will have two house notes, and need money for repairs.
If you are confused at this stage, this isn't the business for you. Many are enchanted by the TV shows where they resolve all the issues in short order and sell the house, but rarely do you here about house flippers that overpaid, the house had a more than cosmetic problems and the flippers got behind on everything because they were in over their head.
Have you tried a construction loan? Talk to your lender about it.
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