Have a Wedding or Buy a home?

So as we start planning the wedding and seeing all the cost, its hard not to want to spend the money on something more than a piece of paper and a single day. We will be investing a few thousand of our own as well as a parents doing the same. All I can think about is thats 5,000-10,000 we could be putting towards a house during this housing slump. We could get a cute starter home on the lower end and put some money into fixing it up (fiance was a general contractor before the market crashed) and then in several years when the market is back or even not, sell it and make a small profit towards a new home...



Would people understand us not wanting a wedding ceremony and instead give a gift towards paying our new home (we have lived together for two years there is nothing we really need)? Its not expected, Im just wondering how people would react to seeing this idea?



Saying something like...



We are sorry you could not be with us on our special day, but we have decided to take advantage of the current housing market. We were married with only immediate family present and are putting our savings towards the purchase of a new home instead of a lavish reception/ceremony. We will have to get together in the future and have a drink together. Well wishes for the new year!





ps- by the date that we set for the wedding, we will have paid off both cars, his loans, my credit cards and have absolutly NO debt, with a few thousand in savings. it would be a good credit time to invest in something large...Have a Wedding or Buy a home?
I would go for the house then sometime down the road have an anniversary party. Good luck.



Altho we are a tad older (50's) we have no car loans, no credit card debts, no loan with the bank and NO mortgage having paid that off a few months ago....there's nothing like it, Hon....believe me!



note-you owe NO ONE an explanation on the kind of wedding you choose to have-just make sure you accept the fact that some will have their nose outta joint and others may not attend-just the way it goes.



AND PEOPLE YOU NEED TO READ! she said she didn't EXPECT anyone to gift her.....nor does her 'announcement' mention gifts at all....sheesh.Have a Wedding or Buy a home?
you do not have to explain yourself to anyone. the wedding is yours and your other halfs. so how you spend the day is entirely upto you. if anyone asks you might want to tell them but then again you do not have to. you have to decide on what is more important, your wedding or your marriage!
well i personally think that you should buy a house because if you buy a houde you will have a permanent place to setlle but if you have a wedding you will finish your money in only one day but if you buy a house it will be much more useful than having a big wedding.
Its very tacky to ask for money in exchange for gifts -



Asking them to pay for a house for you is even more tacky -



Skip the big wedding if you want but don't ask for them to give money for you to buy a house
very very wise.
If you do not feel the need to have a big wedding, save the money and buy home. Yes, the housing market is unpredictable but it is a far better investment than a wedding.



Do not mention what you are doing in your wedding announcement. It comes across as asking people for money. Those who want to send you a gift will. Those who care about your plans will ask. Your intention is to spread the word about your happy union, not to look as if you are looking for a handout.



I commend you for starting your life together with no debt. Best wishes!
Woah -- I was with you until you the second paragraph!!



Its fine to skip a big wedding so you can buy a house. But please understand, houses are not necessarily a great investment. Some people make money in real estate, but most dont. You might not make a few thousand when you sell your starter home. However, the satisfaction of having the home is reason enough to buy one, so if that is important to you then go for it. It is a great use of money.



But to send out explanations to your family and friends??!! That is really terrible. And your example is awful, I would laugh if I received something like that from a friend!



Skip the big wedding. Dont apologize for it... and certainly dont put it in writing or put down big weddings!!
Why would you expect someone to give you a gift if you are not inviting them to your wedding? Why putting own other people and their weddings to make your self feel good about not having a wedding?



If you are having a ';private'; ceremony with only your family members presents, then only your family should gift you.



You cannot solicit gifts from people that will not be in attendance, and worse still, tell him that you are not having a reception because it's stupid, but you are welcoming their MONEY towards the purchase of your new home??????





WOW... are you for real?
You know, you don't have to totally cancel the wedding in order to pay for the house. You can always have a simple ';cake and punch'; reception and celebration. I would not send out ';explanations'; as it screams gift-grabby to me (not saying you are gift-grabby, but those explanations come off that way).



If you do decide to not have a wedding (which of course is perfectly okay), you might consider sending out formal announcements instead. Announcements are similar to invitations, but basically let everyone know you were married, and your new address. That way it takes the pressure off anyone sending a gift - if they want to send a gift they can.



Good luck with the house!
I think that is a great idea. Many people tend to go overboard on their weddings. There are constantly people on these boards asking about taking out loans to pay for their wedding, which is absolutely ridiculous. If you would rather put the money towards your future, everybody will understand. You could even still have a party to celebrate your marriage with everyone. The party could be something inexpensive like a backyard barbeque or pot luck dinner. Congrats!!
While I think it's wise to purchase a home, I do feel as if you would regret down the road not having a wedding. It doesn't have to be lavish, plenty of people on here do beautiful weddings on a tight budget and can give you lots of advice. I wouldn't put out any explanation of why you are not having a wedding though if you choose not to. Those close to you will know why, also if you do not invite people to attend your wedding you cannot ask for or expect a gift in any way, shape, or form. There is not a way to ask for a monetary gift without sounding greedy or selfish. Not that I'm saying you are but that is the way it comes across. You can certainly purchase a home with less money down, especially being a first time buyer you can consult with different mortgage companies and have the numbers crunched.
I was in the same situation.



I bought the house. What Im kicking myself about is that I didnt wait long enough to take advantage of this housing slump. I could have gotten a way bigger one for the same price.



By the way, if you want a small intimate ceremony, you dont have to make up excuses. Send a Xmas card with a picture and announce youve been hitched and how happy you are.



Good luck! Congrats!!