Has anyone ever felt like their getting their nose rub in to something after they said sorry?

Let's say my wife (thinks) I do something wrong. Even if I was wrong it would be just a little thing and of course even though she thinks I was wrong she takes no blame herself. I sincerely believe that an argument takes 2, therefore no one person is fully to blame. She will wine %26amp; cry until I apologize, but then when I do she will rub my nose in it and then continue to try to make me feel guilty.



My question is how do you deal with people that like to blame you and force you in to saying your sorry then rubbing your nose in to. Especially when you do not think you did anything wrong.





And when I try to push back a little, she will start crying %26amp; yelling. She yell and say, that it's is all her fault. She'll say ';nothing is your fault'; or ';I'm sick of always taking the blame for everything'; She'll say I did not want to start my day like this. So I defend myself %26amp; tell her that she is getting carried away. So by the end of the whole think I am really upset with her. She is like a freaking child. It upset's me because she is much smarter than I. I sincerely play a fair game, and I do not manipulate nor do I have the capacity to manuplite. I know she can play games, I know she is a stronger person than me.



I love her %26amp; all, I have no plans on leaving her. I just need to be able to stay on point and not go over board. We have serious issues that need to be worked on like money, buying a home, having another child, raising the one we have. But she does not even like talking about those issues, she just wants to take the issues as they come and I am not like that. I need to plan. I will add she does not do a good job at saving money and she never wants to talk about it and that is one of the bigger problems we need to work on. If we can not take care of the small stuff how are we going to take care of the big stuff.Has anyone ever felt like their getting their nose rub in to something after they said sorry?
Put your foot down, gently.



Say ';I'm sorry'; **once** and only if you are. Then just repeat ';I apologized, I thought this was over.'; every time she brings it up again, that and nothing more. Don't get dragged into rehashing everything...and hopefully, she'll get to realize that there's nothing to be gained by this behavior.Has anyone ever felt like their getting their nose rub in to something after they said sorry?
Starfish is right. Dredging through old stuff, over and over is a big no-no in marriage ESPECIALLY if it's something you apologized for.



It sounds like you are married to my mother. My dad is a stand up guy, quite laid back, good values, good husband yet the way my mom talks at times you'd think he was a monster. She can freak out at him, yell, insult, etc. and when he walks away it's him who has the temper.



I tip my hat to anyone who can put up with that.



My dad has ';carried'; my mom for a long time, which sounds kind of like what you're doing. My mom leans on my dad for everything, but resents him for ';controlling'; her. Yet when he pulls away, she's lost.



If I had any advice my dad would be the first to hear it. He's a smart man and he has no solutions, only to walk away and ';cool off'; when she is out of control. It doesn't matter how logically he is with her, she can't and won't see it.
';Let's say my wife (thinks) I do something wrong. Even if I was wrong it would be just a little thing and of course even though she thinks I was wrong she takes no blame herself. ';





Statements are very telling.



This smacks of guilt on your part.
I would go off and by the time I'm done one of us would be in tears and I guarantee it sure as hell wouldn't be me.