My dad is planning to will all his money to his church instead of his 3 children. Is there something wrong? ?

Is there something wrong with me for thinking this is wrong and that my brother, sister and I should get something??? He moved out of state a few years ago because he said that's where the Lord lead him to be. I go visit when I can but can't be there every day like his church family can. He's 70+ and needs help sometimes and they're there.


It's not like we're going to starve without an inheritance. We all have jobs and are buying our homes, have never been in trouble with the law. We all go to church and are believers but this hurts. It's totally digging at my psyche. How come he doesn't want to share with his family? He's been divorced from our mom since I was a little girl. He's never been really close to any one of us kids...My sister has no fond memories of him. My brother has been drinking a lot lately and my dad knows this. My mom has horror stories that I thankfully don't remember...Three years ago, he was talking about giving each of us kids $10,000 each per year to help pay our mortgages but something changed his mind. I know my dad is in a lot of pain and is taking medication for it. Could this be affecting how he sees his family? My dad is planning to will all his money to his church instead of his 3 children. Is there something wrong? ?
I think it sucks when things like this happen, but i think you should talk to him. The only way you'll know for sure is if you ask him personally. He's the only one that knows his reason and if you don't it might be too late?





It's never good to let these matters bug you more than necessary. I'm sure it hurts but the only remedy is love, so you should gather your guts and just plain get him to tell you why.


I;m sure you;ll know what to do then. : ) My dad is planning to will all his money to his church instead of his 3 children. Is there something wrong? ?
He was never close to you. I think he's ';turned'; to religion party as a way to ';make up'; for past deeds. It's his choice. What's changing him is that he was never close to you (and your siblings) and feels that by giving it to a church, it will atone for everything.
you bet that's damn wrong, Religion is great but not to the point it takes over your life.If he's ill that could be playing a part in it.


You kids need to get together sit down with him and have a heart to heart talk with him ASAP.
I'm sure you are going to get a few nasty answers here saying things such as, ';don't be greedy';, ';who says you are owed'; etc...Dont' listen to them.





It's sad and can feel like a final nail in the coffin to know your Dad is choosing to do this. I'm sorry, and it's not the money. That is obvious, it's the thought.





In some ways it might be better this way. If he did give you an inheritance, it might have you and your siblings question if he was really a better Dad all along. At least this will stay in character and affirm that he has always been distant; right up till the end.





You Father may also be suffering from dementia if he is over 70, a possibilitie. It's difficult to know that he loves church and the lord over his family, however this is his belief. You don't have to agree with it or respect it, only accept it.
you should let him give the money to who he wants because he may believe that giving God the money will help you all better. because when you give you receive. i would just try not to worry about the money because it sounds like he is getting old and is really sick. you should try your best to spend some time with him or call him. and no i dont think that the meds are changing his mind for him. good luck
Your statement ';He has never been really close to any one of us kids'; leads me to believe that is the reason for him willing all of his money to the church. When a person gets older and especially if they are sick they tend to lean toward the ones (church family) that help them out the most at their time of need. As you know parents don't owe us anything but to raise us the best possible way they can.....and after that we are pretty much on our own. Families are torn apart after the death of a loved one because of what they left for the family or didn't leave for the family upon their death. it sounds like your mom was the one that raised you and that your father wasn't there for you growing up. It is going to be hard to deal with but he probably won't leave anything to any of his children if that is the way he feels. It is not because of what you or your siblings did or didn't do. Past behavior is a huge preditor of future behavior. He wasn't there then and likely won't be there then.
Sounds like your dad might be under that church's control. It also sounds like he makes a point to use the ol' carrot and stick of promised money to buy his control over you kids.





I would take a few days out to talk to both senior services in that area, and his doctor. He needs to be examined carefully for the usual dementia and other cognitive disorders. A lot of prescription painkillers can cause this trouble. If so, one of you kids needs to talk to both the doctor and attorney about a certain type of ';power of attorney'; to handle his affairs for him.





Now... at 70, he may very well outlive his retirement savings, meaning that any inheritance you or that church might hope for would be a moot point. If he has Alzheimer's he could very well go through all of his savings while in the nursing home, slowly waiting to die.